Ways I get my batteries charge!

When you live 14 hours ahead from Salt Lake City, the only way to watch General Conference live is to stay up all night. The first session starts at midnight with a break between 2:00 to 4:00 am and continuing for the next session from 4:00 to 6:00 am. And if you want to also watch the Saturday Evening session, that one starts at 8:00 am. Anyone in their right mind would just watch it later but not us, we love watching it on real time.

We love listening to what our dear friends and leaders of the Church have prepared. Each talk is uplifting and so motivating. It is what I need every six months to get my batteries charged. Each person who is asked to speak is not given a topic, so they all pray about what the Lord would want us to know and every time I feel touched in a way that I feel that I can become a better person by having heard those talks.

We watched eight hours so far and because we need to pick up Vale and company to take them to the airport and later I will be on my way to Idaho as well, I will not be able to watch the last two hours but so far I am so glad we stayed up all night watching General Conference. We saw two dear friends, Jorge Alvarado and Allan Walker called as General Authorities. Amazing!

These are some of the quotes that caught my attention and wrote them down in my journal.
"The best teacher is a good role model...remember always that hope is an important part of the gospel plan." Elder Soares
"Try to truly feel and see everyone around you as a child of God...laugh with them. Weep with them. Respect them. Heal, lift, and strengthen them." Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
"In modeling our ministering after Jesus Christ, it is important to remember that his effort to love, to lift, to serve and bless had a higher goal than meeting the immediate need." Bishop Waddell
"Because none of us is perfect and feelings are easily hurt, families can become sacred sanctuaries only as we repent early and sincerely...the family that prays together is together even when they are far apart." President Henry B. Eyring
" Take an inventory of how you spend spend your time and where you devote your energy that will tell you where your heart is...put yourself in a position to begin having experiences with Him, God. Humble yourself...ask Him to tell you if He is really there-- If He knows you. Ask Him how He feels about you. And then, listen." President Russel M. Nelson
"God will uphold and bless you as you turn to Him. You can do it. You are an all star in His eyes." Elder Gary Stevenson.

Con amor,
Vero

Family is about time

Yesterday and today Daniel and I spent time with Vale who came to the Philippines to do research for her work. It is sometimes difficult to stay in contact with all of our ten children so having her over was a treat for us. 

Vale grew up in a family of Seven children.  Five boys and two girls.  How Daniel and his first wife  did it? I will never know!  Especially because they weren’t the most mellow of children to say the least.  But somehow the all survived!

As they have all grown into adulthood and started families of our own it is often times difficult to stay in contact with each other on a regular basis.  We are all spread out across the U.S. with some living in Florida, Texas,, Colorado, Nebraska, Connecticut, Idaho, Utah and even Ireland. Everyone has incredibly busy lives so we often go for long spurts without seeing one another or even talking to one another, except for Analia who calls religiously every day but when the times come that we can get together it is always as if no time has passed at all.  I think that is the beauty of being family – there is this connection that ignores time or space and binds you together forever.  You are family.

 It was so fun to see Vale and to spend time with her and her co-workers.  I am so proud of the woman she has grown up to be. We took them to Tagaytay and to the U.S. cemetery and memorial and we did some shopping as well.  I came into the family when she was in college but even so we can feel that bond of family when we come together.  It’s that bond that forever ties you together.  That is what family is all about – It’s about being bonded together through good and bad times. It’s about growing up together in the same house to then taking what you have learned from that experience and spinning it off into your own family. Replicating the things you liked from your family, and deciding to change the things that you didn’t like from your family.  Everyone grows up and becomes their own person.  But deep down, no matter how much time passes and no matter how grown up you become, you are still those same kids from the same family with the same roots.  You are family.

I am grateful for my new family.  I am grateful for my upbringing.  I am grateful I had 3 sisters to be friends with and built sand castles whenever we went to the beach.  I am grateful for the memories we created together as children and for the friendships we have as adults.  I am grateful to parents who provided us that opportunity.  And I am grateful to have my own large family consisting of 10 children, nine in laws, 20 grandchildren and one on the way that I get to be bonded with for eternity.  I LOVE MY FAMILY!

Con amor,

Vero

History was made today

"At this wonderful general conference time, it is our privilege to bring together senior leaders of the Church from around the world to provide instruction and to unify our effort to bring God’s children closer to the gospel of Jesus Christ. This morning in a leadership session the First Presidency provided instruction on several important topics. We are pleased to share with our members and friends some very positive messages from that meeting.

President Russell M. Nelson reflected that throughout this past year, the Lord has blessed us with “revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge … that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:61). We are all eyewitnesses to revelations from the Lord as He guides the affairs of His Church. President Nelson taught of ministering and repenting, sharing that as we embrace the gift of repentance we will rise up and minister in a holier way and make our homes centers of gospel learning. Israel will be gathered on both sides of the veil, and we will help in preparing the world for the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

We are optimistic that a majority of people … long for better understanding and less contentious communications.

President Dallin H. Oaks instructed that the Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us to love and treat all people with kindness and civility — even when we disagree. God has promised all blessings to those who strive to keep His commandments, and we have a duty to “bear one another’s burdens that they may be light” (Mosiah 18:8). While we cannot change the Lord’s doctrine, we want our members and our policies to be considerate of those struggling with the challenges of mortality. In his remarks, President Oaks shared information about changes to recent Church policies related to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender members. (More information on that announcement is included below.)

President Henry B. Eyring spoke of continuing revelation in the true and living Church, teaching that the Lord has led by revelation through prophets from the time of Adam and Eve to the present day, and such revelation to His servants will continue until He comes again. One reason is that we need the Lord’s direction to meet changing circumstances, and He has guided changes in practice and policy throughout the history of the Church.

We pray these teachings will be received in the same spirit we received them from the Lord and have shared them with our leaders — as positive and inspiring instruction that will bless many lives. With gratitude we acknowledge God’s continuing guidance and love for all His children and invite our members to renew their commitment to follow the teachings of the Savior Jesus Christ to love God and to love one another (see Matthew 22:37–39).

Sincerely,
The First Presidency

At the direction of the First Presidency, President Oaks shared that effective immediately, children of parents who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender may be baptized without First Presidency approval if the custodial parents give permission for the baptism and understand both the doctrine that a baptized child will be taught and the covenants he or she will be expected to make.

A nonmember parent or parents (including LGBT parents) can request that their baby be blessed by a worthy Melchizedek Priesthood holder. These parents need to understand that congregation members will contact them periodically, and that when the child who has been blessed reaches 8 years of age, a Church member will contact them and propose that the child be baptized.

Previously, our handbook characterized same-gender marriage by a member as apostasy. While we still consider such a marriage to be a serious transgression, it will not be treated as apostasy for purposes of Church discipline. Instead, the immoral conduct in heterosexual or homosexual relationships will be treated in the same way.

The very positive policies announced this morning should help affected families. In addition, our members’ efforts to show more understanding, compassion and love should increase respect and understanding among all people of goodwill. We want to reduce the hate and contention so common today. We are optimistic that a majority of people — whatever their beliefs and orientations — long for better understanding and less contentious communications. That is surely our desire, and we seek the help of our members and others to attain it.

These new policies are being sent to priesthood leaders worldwide and will be included in online updates to our Church handbook for leaders. These changes do not represent a shift in Church doctrine related to marriage or the commandments of God in regard to chastity and morality. The doctrine of the plan of salvation and the importance of chastity will not change. These policy changes come after an extended period of counseling with our brethren in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and after fervent, united prayer to understand the will of the Lord on these matters."

 Taken from the LDS Living

Con amor,

Vero

When there is a will there is a way

“More than 7,000 miles and the world’s largest ocean separate Astrid S. Tuminez’s birthplace in the Philippines from her adopted home of Orem, Utah. But mere geography can’t aptly describe the massive distance this Latter-day Saint convert has traveled.

She was born in 1964 into a family of seven children with few obvious advantages.

No matter. In boxing parlance, she quickly mastered the art of “punching above her weight.”

Her unlikely journey from the impoverished slums of Southeast Asia to becoming president of Orem’s Utah Valley University was fueled by smarts, hard work, gospel faith, good fortune, more hard work, and the timely support of many friends and mentors along the way.

On March 27, President Tuminez was formally inaugurated president of Utah’s largest university — replacing President Matthew S. Holland, who left UVU last year to preside over the North Carolina Raleigh Mission. She is the school’s first female president.

The festive ceremony (many attendees waved Wolverine-green pom-poms) was attended by students, faculty and government and religious leaders, including President Russell M. Nelson and Sister Wendy W. Nelson.

Utah State Board of Regents Chairman Harris Simmons, who performed the investiture, called President Tuminez“a perfect fit for UVU now and for the future.”

The 54-year-old educator and former corporate leader credits the Christian impulses of others for bringing about the life-altering moments of her youth.

When she was 5, a group of nuns from a local Catholic order invited Astrid and her older sisters to attend, without cost, one of the best convent schools in Iloilo City.

“What did that education mean for me? From being an illiterate child, ignorant, malnourished and insecure, I became someone who learned to read, discovered numbers and devoured everything,” 

Michal Tuminez Tolk hugs her mother, Astrid S. Tuminez, Utah Valley University’s seventh president, during the inauguration ceremony for Tuminez at the UVU Noorda Center for the Performing Arts in Orem on Wednesday, March 27, 2019. Photo: Kristin Murphy, Deseret News

The little girl from Iloilo could not have imagined her “golden ticket” to formal learning later taking her to Brigham Young University and then to graduate studies at two of the world’s top universities, Harvard and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Life took another unexpected, fortuitous turn for young Astrid and her family when a pair of Latter-day Saint missionaries knocked on their door in Iloilo, introducing them to the gospel. Different family members joined the Church at different times. Astrid was one of the last siblings to be baptized.

She remains grateful for the missionaries who were led to her humble home.

“They would have had to walk on rickety walkways of bamboo,” she told the Church News. “They were brave and courageous.”

Even as a 10- or 11-year-old girl, the missionaries’ teachings about the plan of salvation, the purpose of life and a person's divine identity and worth resonated deeply.

The gospel’s optimistic outlook on life and its promises of eternity were uplifting. “When you grow up in the slums in a life of uncertainty, indignity, disease and starvation, you latch on to that amazing message of hope.”

While a BYU undergraduate, she was, for the first time, surrounded by legions who supported her convictions and beliefs. But simply arriving on campus proved daunting.

“It was a miracle that I came to Utah at all,” she said.

Workers at the American embassy in the Philippines rejected her visa application three times. Because of her humble background, they worried she would be a flight risk once she was on U.S. soil.

“On my third try, I literally fasted for 48 hours. I was faint from hunger, and they still turned me down.”

Once again, good fortune soon arrived.

She had become acquainted with an American family living in Manila who would become essential advocates. “They went to the embassy and vouched for me and said I needed to get my education in the United States.”

Finally, on her fourth try, her visa application was approved. “The lesson,” said President Tuminez, “is to never give up.”

Her college apartments “were nothing luxurious” by Provo standards. But she enjoyed reliable electrical service and running water — all the comforts she required to excel in her BYU studies. She graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in international relations and Russian literature.

She also found “some great mentors” such as Gary Browning, a now-retired professor of Russian at BYU who spoke at her recent inauguration. Such friendships — “starting with those Catholic nuns who educated my family for free” — were critical to her growth. People pitched in and, in her words, prevented her from becoming a mere statistic that often classifies poor people.

The Church-owned campus also instilled a lasting belief that the world truly was her classroom. Her curiosity for all things global served her well in both her academic pursuits and in her subsequent international business career. Prior to her appointment at UVU, she was a Microsoft executive — directing corporate, external and legal affairs in Southeast Asia for the multinational technology company.

“For a kid who grew up being so poor, there are no words to describe how magical all of that was,” she said. “That was all made possible by the fact that I came to BYU.”

Utah Valley University is a key institute of learning for Church members. Close to 80 percent of the students identify as Latter-day Saints. Meanwhile, the Church’s largest institute of religion is located next to UVU’s Orem campus, serving thousands of members.

It’s a welcoming place for Latter-day Saint students looking to grow in both faith and learning. At the same time, UVU students study alongside fellow students and faculty from almost all religions and nationalities.

The campus has evolved into a forward-thinking place, said President Tuminez, where diverse campus-mates “can see one another and love one another.”

Today’s UVU students are likely managing hectic lives. Their new president knows a few things about the challenges of finding balance.

“I have an ability to embrace chaos,” she said, laughing. Still, she encourages others to prioritize “self care” by eating right, getting enough sleep and finding those things “that replenish their energy.”

She relies upon the support of her husband, Jeffrey Tolk, and their three children. “They have put themselves as much as I have into Utah Valley University.”

And she’s learned something that can help other Latter-day Saints: Things don’t have to be perfect. “We need not be ashamed of our failings. … I know what the gospel means to me, and I know I’m not perfect. And that’s OK.”

What a great story of someone from Iloilo. I know that place, I have been there and for a moment I feel I even know Astrid Tuminez. I love here story. Someone who overcame challenges the way she did is remarkable and inspiring. This world needs more women like her.

Con amor,

Vero

Children begging

I was looking at some children begging on the streets in Manila thinking, why? It brought memories of children begging in El Salvador and in the Dominican Republic and so many places around the world and it breaks my heart.  I was reminded of just how blessed each of us are. Life is amazing and beautiful and I feel incredibly blessed for all the good in my life. This quote came to mind as I thought of all the poor and the needy surrounding our cities. 

If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world. 

If you have money in the bank, your wallet and some spare change you are among 8% of the world’s wealth.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week. 

If you have never experienced the danger of battle. Imprisonment or torture or starvation you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering. 

If you can read this message you are more fortunate than 3 billion who cannot read it at all. 

And to think that 50 years ago, things were a lot worse, like 50% worse. I can only pray and hope that this world keeps improving.

Con amor,

Vero

During Times of Trial

I was reading Elder Rasband's new book " Led by Devine Design" and in there is a chapter he titled: "During Times of Trial." Bianca wrote about one trial in particular which reminded me of all the emotions of sadness and even anger toward God I felt at one time. I was talking to Bianca and her article came to mind. This is what she said: 

“Soon after I wrote the song, “At the Heart of It,” I played it to a room of people I hardly knew, and when I finished the song, this young lady said, “Someone get that girl a puppy.”

I was a little embarrassed by her comment because this song for me was totally heartfelt and came after one of the darkest periods of my life. I didn’t mean for it to be depressing or to elicit pity from the listener, but it was a song that I felt I had to write and share, even if it exposed some of the shadows behind the recent loss I had experienced.

Up to this point in my life, I had dealt with some disappointments and difficulties that were relatively typical. I experienced betrayal and heartache in some relationships, and then loss and disappointment when my parents got a divorce when I was in college. These experiences were refining, and despite the difficulties that came along with them, they were soul stretching and helped me to develop a relationship with God that felt personal and real to me.

However, I didn’t realize that somewhere along the way, I started to see God somewhat like the way a child sees Santa Claus. (ie. If I do all the right things, then I’ll be on the “nice” list, and I’ll get all the things I want!) I had grown up reading the Bible and the Book of Mormon and there seemed, even in scripture, to be promises given of prosperity to those who kept the commandments. So this solidified my belief in this concept even more.

Then, I started to notice that despite my attempt at having faith, and living an obedient life, I wasn’t getting all the things I wanted. My husband and I were wanting to have children, and it wasn’t happening. This was such a good thing that we were asking for and desiring. I couldn’t understand why this would be withheld from us, and unlike the other trials I had experienced in my life, this particular challenge felt even more personal between me and God. I discovered that even the best doctors, yoga classes, organic foods, acupuncture and taking a relaxing vacation were not going to guarantee that we would be able to have a baby. It seemed so out of our hands, and truly only in God’s.

After a few years of trying to get pregnant, and having some false starts, we discovered that I have several things working against me for getting and staying pregnant (PCOS with a chromosomal balanced translocation). As a result, my husband and I decided to go ahead and do IVF with PGD (genetic testing), so that our chances and odds for actually having a baby would increase significantly. I was so hopeful. All the stars seemed to be aligning from health insurance coverage, to an amazing doctor, and I felt certain that this was going to be it!

When I got the call that we were pregnant, I sobbed on my bed with tears of joy and immediately got on my knees to offer a prayer of gratitude. Joseph was so excited that we were pregnant, that he managed to tell our entire church congregation the Sunday after we found out (bless his heart). The stakes were high. Family, friends, and even people I hardly knew were pulling for us; and on top of that, we had been yearning for this for years and had invested so much time and financial means in order to get to this point.

A few weeks later, I woke up in the middle of the night (on the morning of Mother’s Day ironically) with cramping and hemorrhaging and I knew something was seriously wrong. I didn’t want to wake Joseph up because I knew that there was nothing that he could really do about it, so I just decided to lay in bed. The moon was bright, and I stared out my window praying to God for comfort and peace, which I did feel wash over me that night, and I was finally able to fall back asleep.

The next day was the worst Mother’s Day that I can remember. We went in to the doctor’s office once the clinic was open and sadly our doctor wasn’t able to find a heartbeat. The doctor said that we could come again in a few days to see if anything had changed because perhaps it was just too early to detect a heartbeat. So we went back a few more times with complete hope for a miracle heartbeat, but each time we were disappointed to find there wasn’t one.

I was devastated. The loss was almost more than I could bare. It’s hard to believe looking back now, but I felt so broken physically, emotionally as well as spiritually that thoughts of my own death were near. It wasn’t just the loss of a baby, but the roller coaster of emotions that came with having hopes crushed, and the loss of time and money spent in doing these fertility treatments, as well as the loss of my trust in and understanding of God. The picture that I had had in my mind of Him no longer matched the picture that I was seeing of Him now.

For some time, I was angry and hurt. I closed my heart to God in defense, and shut down as I tried to sort through the mess. We were living in New York at the time, and I remember that it rained for days. The sun didn’t come out for an entire week, which was great because it seemed to match my mood perfectly. At a certain point, I remember deciding that I was finally ready to pray again. I got on my knees in my living room when no one was home and I sobbed as I prayed aloud. I don’t remember what I said, to be completely honest, but I remember that after that prayer, I stood up and went into our kitchen and this beautiful and bright ray of sunshine came right through our kitchen window and the whole room lit up as if it were on fire. I stood by the window, and closed my eyes and felt warmth that was both physical and spiritual, and that was just the beginning of a renewed understanding of God’s love for me.

I knew and believed in a God who loved me, and because I was struggling during that time to feel of His love for me in ways that I could understand, I decided to take the advice of Henry B. Eyring and write a response to this question in a daily journal: “How have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch me or my family today?” President Eyring then said this about his experience with doing this:

“As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.”

Miraculously, my experience of doing this daily practice of acknowledging God’s hand helped me to see light in every day despite the darkness that I thought would consume me. Looking back, I can see even more clearly now that I was truly being carried during that time of my life. Every day, I saw and felt tender mercies that I knew couldn’t have been orchestrated by anyone else besides a God that knew me and loved me perfectly.

Often, I find that God’s miracles and love have been made known to me in ways that I hadn’t previously expected. Through loss and disappointments, I have seen God’s love in ways that have surpassed circumstances. It hasn’t been an exact equation such as A+B=C, and His love hasn’t been like that of Santa Claus, either. I think I developed a more adult like relationship with the Lord when I learned that, YES, we do prosper when we keep the commandments! However, I think the Lord has taught me that often my definition of prosperity is not the same as His. Larry Barkdull mentioned this in his article entitled “Miracles Reveal the Character of God,” when he said,

“Our definition of deliverance is seldom God’s definition. We can dictate neither timelines nor terms. Nevertheless, we can be absolutely confident that our every prayer is heard and counts, and that somewhere in the process of working through, a divine encounter will happen.”

There was also a blog post called “The One Thing Christians Should Stop Saying,” that came out in the Huffington Post a few years ago that has solidified some of these concepts for me as well. Whether it be called prosperity, deliverance, or blessings…these words might have a different meaning to the Lord than they do to us. In that Huffington Post article, the writer declares:

“Nowhere in scripture are we promised worldly ease in return for our pledge of faith. In fact, the most devout saints from the Bible usually died penniless, receiving a one-way ticket to prison or death by torture…If we’re looking for the definition of blessing, Jesus spells it out clearly (Matthew 5: 1-12).”

In those verses, we read “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven”…blessed are those who mourn, are meek, who hunger and are pure. Christ doesn’t say, “Blessed are those who have a big house, or who have a well paying job, or who live comfortably and have all the things they want…” and for me, that has been such a great reminder. 

Looking back now, I feel so much gratitude for the experiences that have allowed me to learn and stretch beyond what I thought was even possible. I really feel like the price payed to come to know God a little better was absolutely worth it. After all, “it takes a little rain for flowers to grow,” and for that I will be forever grateful."

I'm happy to report that I have repented from having those terrible feelings once upon a time and found a deeper meaning when reading Matthew 5:1-12 and decided from that point forward after I read her story to write a daily journal. 

Con amor,

Vero

Hello April

Vale is coming to the Philippines tomorrow and that is not an April fool’s day joke, she is on her way on a work assignment so we are super excited and can’t wait! I can’t hardly believe it is already April 1^st! And my silly side of me wanted to announce an April fool’s day joke but I don’t want to confuse anyone. We have not received our new assignment yet. We are still enjoying our time very much here in the Philippines. Case in point, last weekend we visited the famous Rice Terraces. 

The Rice Terraces are in the remote areas of the Philippines Cordillera Mountain range on the northern island of Luzon. The brother who took us there and who is also a native of the area told us that the terraces illustrates persistence of cultural traditions virtually unchanged by using the very same agricultural techniques from centuries ago. What a remarkable continuity and endurance! And that community of farmers made me reflect on all the traditions that are passed on from previous generations that will continue to pass on to the next generations.

I hope that all of us realize how important our family is to each other and that also includes our departed ancestors. A family tradition could be spending more  time searching for information about our ancestors on the internet. You can do that in the comfort of your own home. As a family, we encourage all to take those names to the temple to do their temple work and with those family members still around, take a lot of pictures and have them tell you their story and get it recorded. 

Next Monday both Vale and I will be returning to the U.S. We won't be on the same flights because we are going on different destinations and airlines. She will be returning home to Utah and I will be waiting our 21st grand baby with Cristi and her family in Idaho.Yay! My Monday letters will take a break until I get back from my trip. 

Con amor,

Vero