First Talent Show at the Mormon Battalion

Here is the program for our Talent Show yesterday. 

I read this story. 

El Salvador 

In 2001, a massive earthquake shook the town where I was born. I lived in Utah at the time. The destruction shown on the news, kept me awake at night thinking of all those people who had lost everything. I called my family, and friends in government to ask if there was anything I could do and that is when I was appointed to the post of Honorary Consul of El Salvador in the State of Utah. I took many calls from Salvadorans who needed help but one phone call that surprised was from an American woman who was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  

 

I said: “Hello, Veronica speaking” “Hi Veronica, are you the honorary Consul of El Salvador?”  “Yes” I answered. --She proceeded to tell me: I need help for my son Eddy who is in jail with a co-worker and their boss. I know he is innocent of whatever he is being accused of doing.” “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?  

 

She explained: “I don’t know exactly other than my son and two others were arrested at the San Salvador airport last Saturday as they attempted to leave the country with a man who needed to come back to the U.S.  My son’s boss owns a bail bond company in Las Vegas, and they were not aware of anything wrong that they were doing. Eddy does not know Spanish. He doesn’t understand what they are saying.” I interrupted her and said: ``You mean to tell me that your son does not know why he has been arrested for?  “That is right!” she replied. “Let me call some people to find out more about this case. I will call you right back.” The next thing I did was to call my mother and sister. 

 

Both knew and confirmed that indeed the American young men known as bondsmen were in serious trouble, according to their lawyer they were charged with pretending to be FBI agents to abduct a Salvadoran citizen who had jumped bail and needed to come back to the U.S. to stand trial for a serious crime he committed in Las Vegas.  My mother commented, “I couldn’t believe why they thought they could take someone back to the U.S. without a passport. The newspapers are spreading rumors of them being charged with kidnapping, but they don’t look like the type. I think they are innocent.” My sister had called our cousin who happened to be the President of El Salvador at the time. He explained that in those cases it’s up to the judge and their lawyer. He told her, “I hope they got a good lawyer.” When I knew, this case would be in the hands of a judge and a lawyer I felt compelled to see for myself who was handling this case, so I booked the next flight to El Salvador. 

 

The first thing I did when I arrived was to see where the bondsmen were being held. When I came in to visit their cell, all three were sitting on the floor. They were inside a small room with no light coming in other than a small opening at the top of the ceiling. That was the only source of light. No bed, or anything but the dirty hard floor probably infested with cockroaches. The image I have of that filthy jail cell facility in San Salvador was more like a dungeon than a cell. It was a gruesome site. The look on their faces of pure anguish when I came to see them is something that haunted me for days. 

 

They were told by U.S. Embassy officials that they would probably be in prison for at least six years and a high security prison is a lot worse than a city jail. A prison in the U.S. is more like a resort compared to those in El Salvador. I spoke with their lawyer over the phone who explained, “There was a misunderstanding. They were not pretending to be FBI Agents and were not kidnapping anyone either.” 

 

I went to the courthouse. I needed to talk to the Judge who was handling this case. I showed her secretary my Honorary Consul credential and said:” May I speak to the judge, please?”  The secretary looked at me puzzled of who I was and probably thought I was someone important, so she had me go in to see the judge as soon as she had a break.

 

I went inside her chambers and remembered watching those TV shows where people say Your Honor, in Spanish is “Su Señoria” so that is exactly what I did. In Spanish I said the following “Your Honor, I wasn’t sent by anyone, I came on my own, I am not a lawyer or getting paid to do this but I am a mother and as a mother I would hate to lose a child when I know he is innocent so I can assure you that those young men are very naïve and found themselves in this precarious situation without knowing what they were doing.”  She looked at me and nodded as if she approved. I said:” They need to be on house arrest until they are sentenced.” She answered: “But the danger of doing that is risking the chance that they could escape.” “No, they won’t!” I said firmly. “You need to completely be at ease that they will comply with all of what it’s demanded of them until their sentencing. I will make sure of that. Take my word. I promise”

 

The break was over; her secretary came in to let her know that she needed to get back on a court case, but I felt I had connected with her. In my view, I knew I had touched her heart as a mother and she was probably going to support my plea, thanks to my title as the Honorary Consul. You see, every letter I received had “Honorable” written before my name, I loved that! Out of any titles I have received, Honorable is my favorite. 

 

I don’t know how I got the nerve to do this, but I remember going to a seminar where the instructor said: “At times you are going to be asked to do hard things, and your mind tells you, you can’t because you feel insecure, or inadequate, or incapable, but you need to stop that thinking and act by pretending you are in a movie set and you are playing your part.” She said loudly: “All you need to do is to play the role with confidence and act your part… In life, confidence is the only thing you need to fake!” 

 

I went to talk to the people at the American Embassy in hopes they would believe me. While I was waiting to see the Consul General, I noticed the local newspapers had their faces splattered on the front cover.  I thought that there was no way they would get a fair trial if the papers were spreading awful rumors of their character. The Consul General said in a sarcastic tone, “our hands are tied, they committed serious crimes and they need to wait their sentencing.” I told him, “I thought you were innocent until proven guilty.” The Consul General clearly did not believe they were innocent. 

 

Next, I decided to talk to the largest newspaper editor as well. I said to him: “What you are doing is wrong, spreading rumors just to sell the paper. When they are free because they will be found innocent, I hope you dedicate as much space in your paper to clear their names.” “Why are you so sure about their character and innocence?” he asked “because they are returned missionaries. These young men left the comfort of their homes, family and friends to serve their God. Many are faced with a difficult language in extremely harsh living conditions not to mention that as a missionary, you are verbally and sometimes even physically attacked but they go anyway because they are committed disciples of Jesus Christ and want to serve Him like what you read in the Bible of what the Apostles did. These young men and women have promised to live an honest lifestyle with high standards to be able to serve a mission. I am not implying that they are perfect or that some people could lie but for the most part they are known to be trustworthy. I believe their story to be true. They are not criminals!” I exclaimed! 

 

The following day, I went back home. I had done all I could and the only thing left to do was to pray. Two months later, I received the good news. The case was dropped and were finally free to go home. This happened two days before Christmas. That was a miracle. The reason why they were released from jail was because of so many people praying for them and it also helped that I wore my Honorary Consul hat and spoke face to face with a judge which I believe made all the difference. One quote I lived by during this time was from President Thomas S. Monson, who said:

 “To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility.” 

 

Here is what I’ve learned.

You may not have the experience, but you will know what to do when the time comes. Having confidence is what is needed in those cases. Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you. You can do more than you think you can. And lastly, when you are in a foreign country, please don’t do anything dumb to get arrested. Know their laws or you might end up in jail. The laws of the land apply to you as they do to anyone else. Do not think that because you are a foreigner you are exempt. I rest my case! 

 

The end. 

 

September 11th will always be a sad day for me

Today I went to the temple with Daniel and as I prayed for the first time I din't feel like crying. I felt peace and relieved that I have finally come to realized that it is what it is. I am ok and relieved. Why am I relieved that September 11^th happened? No, I am not a sadist who enjoys seeing people’s suffering or that I am anti-American, I just like to think of this day about something else rather than my wedding to the very person who betrayed me. 

 

How fitting that it was on a September 11th, 1981 that I was sealed for all time and eternity to Brad Van Leeuwen. Everybody who was alive that day remembers what they were doing exactly that morning. I was busy at home making plans to celebrate my 20^th anniversary but the tragedy turned our jovial feeling into a sobering sentiment. That evening, we were glued to the T.V instead. 

 

This year we were to be celebrating our 45^h anniversary but instead this day, I commemorate the September 11^th everybody remembers. Every time I see old photos of the twin towers, it resembles in an awkward way the old photos I sometimes find of Brad and me. Solid, strong and immovable but now are gone forever. I can’t deny the feeling is still sad, however let’s focus on the good that has come because of it. There is nothing anyone can do at this point so there is no need to open those wounds.

 

Every year from that day forward it has been a good time to remember the sacrifices, service men and women, gave up their lives in an act of heroism. I remember how unified the world was in a time of unbelievable tragedy. From that day in 2001 forward, we take a moment to thank the brave first responders.  I think of friends and loved ones who drew closer and came to the aid of those suffering. I think of those angels who are there when you are experiencing loss. I understand that dealing with divorce it’s in no way equivalent to what happened on 9/11 but for me, it was that tragic. 

 

There is something I haven’t said over the years of watching the event unfold on the news over and over again, as if there was something anyone could have done to prevent it. We remember but in my case I have forgiven and hopefully have become a better person because of it. 

 

 

Con amor,

Vero

 

 

A Birthday Celebration and death at the same time.

August 20th 1985 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. my Bianca, conversely, Years later on August 20th 2008, marks the death of a marriage, my marriage to Brad Van Leeuewn. 

I received a letter from the judge with that date and his signature. It was a simple piece of paper of no value like our marriage was to Brad. It is going to be weird to think that as when you look at a dash on the tomb of someone who has died it marks the beginning and the end. For us, it was September 11, 1981 - August 20, 2008. But this slow death  really started on March 2003.

I can't believe I waited five and a half years for a miracle that never happened. What every married woman wants is a husband that someday will be called grandpa, a hero, an anchor and an example of a loving husband in whom you can sense a loving bond between grandma and grandpa. We are now grandparents to ten grandbabies and  I am sure someday the great-grandkids will come. It is sad that we were never there together to see our daughters give birth. 

I still remember after all the years when the Bekkers were in Church attending sacrament meeting when all the sudden they got up and left in the middle of the meeting. He was our stake President so that was unusual but it was because their son and daughter in law had just given birth to their grandson and they needed to rush over to the Hospital. That will never happen with us. We were never together welcoming our grand babies and that breaks my heart!  

How tragic is also for us not to have family pictures together. No more vacations as a family either. We won't share anything anymore. We are now complete strangers like if there was nothing that tied us together. This is what divorce does. I don't wish this hell on anyone.

Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is intended to be eternal. In Matthew 19:5 we read: "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh" Marriage is often referred to a partnership with God. Obviously Brad didn't see it that way. He broke his promise. When I married him, he was a man who truly loved me,  his wife, and one who honored his priesthood, one who showed respect and fidelity to me and gave me no reason to ever doubt his faithfulness. But he changed.

The million dollar question is: Knowing what I know now, would I have married Brad? probably yes, Because I did give birth to three amazing daughters. They are my life. They are all I care about! I am so sorry, my sweet girls, for not providing you with a stable home. We are now bad examples to you. Please don't do what we did. Please, don't ever think the answer to your marital problems is to get a divorce.

I still think a marriage is so worth it. I am so grateful I had my amazing girls even when it meant so much sorrow for me in the end. One thing I learned from this is that you never know who you really married until you get a divorce and  how real the power of Satan really is. He got him and once you belong to him, he will destroy you. He destroyed our family.

My only prayer is that I will become a better person because of this and one day I can say, I'm o.k. I am a survival and will keep my chin up because the Lord knows I didn't want this to happen. I tried all I could even when it was to no avail. 

Con amor,

Vero

 

I'm Back

We received a call to serve at the Mormon Battalion Historic Site. We will be the Mission Leaders of 26 sister missionaries and four Senior couples. We are going to all live in the same apartment complex which means that it will be like if we were at a. MTC 

We had gone there for meetings with Bishop Waddell. I remember that the tour was fantastic. The sister missionaries did a good job making the tour interactive. We later went to eat at a Mexican Restaurant. Now we get to try all from various places to eat in Old Town. 

Can't wait to see what is in sore for us. We are now on our way. Packing away!!

Con amor,

Vero

Our Time is Up

I can hardly believe that it was exactly three years ago, that we arrived in Buenos Aires from Manila. From July 2019 to February of 2020 was a sheer whirlwind of activity of visitors coming and going until March of 2020. The pandemic is all people talked about for a long time. Argentina had a strict lockdown of 18 months that felt more like house arrest so when I realized that it was the three -year anniversary over the weekend from when we arrived, all I could think of is how it feels like it happened forever ago, as opposed to just three years. 

 

During our time down South, we had the death of a dear uncle but to compensate for that, we added four new grandbabies, I celebrated my twelve- year wedding anniversary to my amazing husband; my oldest daughter turned forty and the youngest turned thirty. Two granddaughters graduated from High School and my nephew and niece got married. Yes, a tremendous amount has happened over these last three years and for that, I am grateful. 

 

During the last six months, just as we are leaving, we could transition smoothly out of the lockdown into a more normal situation. How ironic! Just when we could travel and explore the beautiful countries of Argentina, Chile, Uruguay and Paraguay, we need to go. It has been an incredibly different experience for Daniel and me. Our time in Buenos Aires will be remembered as the time we survived the Covid-19 pandemic. Daniel knew what exactly needed to get accomplished at work before we went back and he did it! 

 

On the one hand, it feels incredibly exciting because we could finally do stuff with our family, but on the other hand it was incredibly disconcerting because I was so used to having all my time and days mapped out for me and now I am free to choose how I want to spend my days. I am not restricted in staying in one place. I can move around. Our new assignment is in the U.S. which means that I am writing the last page of the last chapter as an expat. 

 

Daniel has worked crazy hours ever since she was asked to be the DTA for the Central Area in the U.S. but also continued working in the South America Area. The new DTA officially starts on August 1. For the first time in twelve years I am able to really stop and ask myself “exactly what am I excited to spend my time doing? “  

 

Up until this point I had always been busy in order to support my husband so I never really stopped to ask myself “if you could do anything what would it be?”.  But now I can, and the answer is that I am figuring the answer to that question out a little more each day as I continue moving myself forward toward the things that I have a passion for, like family history. I will be writing books. 

 

Had you asked me three years ago where I would be today I would have answered that we would still be in Buenos Aires. I had no idea our move would come so quick because time flies when you are busy and having fun. To each person, I met for the past decade as an expat, thank you for your friendship. Keep up the faith. I will always remember you. And for those who read my blog, know that I hope someday our paths will cross. This is only the end to a blog where I wrote each night except when on vacation not the end of my life. I will keep writing in a different blog.

The End!

 

Con amor,

Vero 

 

The only thing constant is Change!

“Life happens. Adapt. Embrace change, and make the most of everything that comes your way.” 

 

If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.

 

As this week represents Daniel’s final week as the DTA for the South America South Area, I felt it most appropriate to talk about change.  Change is an interesting word.  For some people, it represents fear and terror, while for other people it represents adventure and excitement.  In my experience, I have found that more people tend to fear change, rather than embrace it.  As I have had the chance to talk with friends about their fears over the years, I have found that the reasons they fear change vary.  Some of the reasons that have been shared are:

 

                  Some fear the unknown that change represents, especially when they have a lack of information.  Often times, if there is no information human nature is to let the monsters in your head start to fill in the gaps with worst case scenarios, which leads to a major increase in a person’s anxiety level.

                  Some fear that change will represent a loss of some kind.  A loss of a friend, or coworker, or position, or title, or even the fear of losing their own job.

                  Some fear that change will force them to leave their comfort zone.  We get so used to the routine of the day to day and the sense of security that gives us in our life, that the thought of a change will interrupt that sense of security, and leave us feeling lost and unsure.

                  Some fear that change might bring successes that they are not prepared to handle.  New found success can bring more responsibility, more stress, and an increase in the expectations others place upon them.

 

Daniel’s input to leaders who need to lead an organization through change:

 

Over the years, as my husband Daniel witnessed the stress that change could cause employees, he realized that a leader of an organization has a huge responsibility to help mitigate the impact that change will have on employees.  He learned that the best way to do that was to communicate, communicate, and then communicate.  He thinks many leaders think they need to have everything figured out before they start communicating with employees.  Daniel disagrees.  He has found that when Daniel laid out exactly what was happening in the organization at any given time, and he laid it out to the entire employee base at the same time (which is critical because if a leader starts telling people one off then rumors will spread like wild fire through the organization and nothing is more damaging than that – it makes people who hear it secondhand wonder why they have been left out of hearing it firsthand and it makes those who heard it first believe that they are more important than others in the organization which leads to divisions in the employee base), and then by telling employees honestly and openly the decisions that he was tasked with making, and by laying out for them the factors that he was trying to consider as he made his decisions, that the employees became his support system in helping him make and implement changes. 

 

By giving them the data on everything, even if he didn’t have it all figured out, the employees felt engaged in the process, they understood the end result that he wanted to achieve, and many times they would even offer up suggestions for him to consider as he was trying to make up his mind.   He has also learned that it is okay for the leader to admit when they are struggling with a decision and to tell why they are struggling.  By being real with employees it builds bonds of trust and shows them that you are no different than they are, and they will respect you more for it.  Be honest, be open, be direct, and most of all, be real.  That is what great leaders do and that is why they are able to inspire people to follow them wherever the organization needs to go. 

 

My input to employees who are dealing with change in their organization:

 

Change in life is inevitable.  And the best way to feel more comfortable in life is to come to terms with the fact that the only thing certain in life is uncertainty.  I was one of those who used to fear change.  Daniel’s children grew up in a family where they moved every few years, leaving behind friends and loved ones each time.  I imagine it must have been scary to always be the new kid in school, over and over again but they were good sports. For some children moving like that is devastating.  The Almeida’s got to the point where they just knew that there was a good chance they would move every few years and there was nothing they could really do about it.  And so I sat down and started to make a list of what the positive things that came from moving.  Don’t get me wrong, the list of bad things I was feeling at the time would have been massive and made me cry, but I couldn’t focus on that anymore because it wouldn’t change anything, it would only make me sad and depressed.  So the only list I could allow myself to make was the list of positive things that could result from moving all the time, including things like the chance to meet new people, the chance to learn a new culture, the chance to make new friends, etc.  

By making the list of positives that could come from change it helped me to put the sadness and fear behind me and stay focused on the positives ahead.  It helped my thoughts to stay focused on the adventure and excitement that change could bring into my life and that gave me hope.  Now that I have experienced moving a lot as a grown woman up living in Santo Domingo, San Juan, Manila and Buenos Aires, I can look back at my life, I can definitely say the list of positives that came from moving several times would far outweigh the negatives, by over a mile! 

 

 

Change is such a necessary part of life.  We need it to grow.  Change forces us to go beyond our comfort zone into unknown territory that we would likely have avoided if left to our own choice.  Don’t fear change, welcome it!  Change is going to happen, so why not greet it head on with a huge smile on your face and an excitement for what it will teach you.  Be happy to see change and be grateful that it will make you grow and evolve into a better, stronger, and wiser person.  And, never forget that change is what turns a simple caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly!

 

I will miss writing in this blog but it’s time for change!

 

Con amor,

Veronica

Don't cry for me Argentina

We are moving! 

The movers are coming. Only a few months ago we were so happy that finally we were going to explore the South America South Área. Argentina had a strict lockdown during the pandemic and ironically now that we are starting to go back to normal, we had all these amazing trips in the works, but the Lord had other plans.

Endings are always hard. We love you all so much my dear friends with whom we shared wonderful memories for the past three years. Letting go of you it’s hard. But endings are also necessary as they allow for new beginnings to occur. If nothing ever came to an end then nothing new could ever begin. 

Out time as expats is over which means that this blog will also end. It was where I wrote my experiences living abroad and that will no longer be the case. Daniel received a new assignment in the Central States and Canada. It's official, we are moving back to reside in Bountiful Utah.

The movers will be here tomorrow to send our stuff. The tricky thing is to know what we should keep for the next three months before we get our things. We have accumulated so much stuff. That is my biggest worry. What to do with it all.

Con amor,

Vero