Mother's day again!

Today was mothers day in the Dominican Republic. Daniel woke me up with breakfast in bed and also gave me my favorite perfume. He is so sweet and so thoughtful. I love him. I wish He was the father of my girls but it is what it is. I am grateful that despite of how my marriage with Brad ended, I gained three remarkable most amazing girls, wives, mothers and future mothers. On June 9th 1982 I became a mother for the first time. That is one event no one ever forgets. I remember waking up in the middle of the night the next morning to write this letter in Spanish:


Querida hija mia:


Hoy no tenía sueño, estoy aquí en el hospital y me levante para verte. Te veo y no lo puedo creer que  hace tan solo unos dias, todavía eras parte de mi ser. Tu eres mi primera ilución quien despertó en mi el instinto maternal. Sin saber como eras o quien eras te amé desde el momento que supe que te tenía dentro de mi.


Tu padre y  yo nos amamos inmensamente y juntos compartimos cada detalle de preparación para ser buenos padres. En este momento todo parece girar al rededor tuyo. Te miro y te veo tan inocente y tan indefensa que solo pienso en protegerte pero sé que llegara el dia en que seas una mujer y ya no dependeras de nosotros.


Me siento feliz que Nuestro Padre Celestial nos ha dado un ser tan divino como tu para cuidarlo. Tu eras su hija también y nosotros mas bien somos sus guardianes para formarte y hacerte una persona de bien. Deseamos lo mejor para ti y estamos dispuestos a cualquier sacrificio por tu bienestar y todo lo mejor lo queremos para ti. Y asi cuando crezcas y tengas tus hijos tu podras darles a ellos igualmente en la misma forma que hoy te damos a ti. Te narrarre detalladamente tu nacimiento:


El martes pasado fue un día de mucha emoción. No pude dormer la noche anterior pues pensé que me había hecho daño una pizza que me comí. Pero ya acostumbrada a no poder dormir no le tome mucha importancia hasta que empeze a sentir Dolores en le vientre y noté algo raro al ir al baño entonces se me vino la idea que ya se acercaba el día del nacimiento.


Me sentía por supuesto feliz y temorosa a la vez y todo el día esperé  a que los Dolores se volvieran más intensos pero lo que cambió el curso de toda la espera fue cuando sentí que el agua se salió. Eso hizo que yo tuviera que irme al hospital y tenerte en las próximas 24 horas o podría desarrollarse una infección. Tu llegastes dos semanas antes de lo previsto. Esa noche fue larga...los dolores eran contantes e intensos pero tenía a Brad a mi lado y a una magnifica enfermera (llamada kristina) y juntos me dieron todo el apollo necesario.


Por fin despues de 12 horas cuando estaba a punto de darme por vencida ya que decidí tenerte de forma natural sentí deseos de empujar y es cuando me dí cuenta que ya me faltaba muy poco y luego te tuve a las 5:42 a.m. el 9 de junio de 1982. Ha sido para mi un día inolvidable!


Mamá

Life is like a camera

I saw this post from Amy I want to share:


"When I was wandering the streets of Europe on a recent trip I came across a little shop that had the cutest saying posted in their window. I liked it so much I had to snap a photo of it so I could be sure to remember it.  Here is what the sign said:

Life is like a camera…

Focus on what’s important

Capture the good times,

Develop from the negatives,

And if things don’t work out,

Take another shot.

I don’t even know what I can add to that awesome quote! It is such a great way to look at life, ya know? It totally reminded me of how we need to look at our lives.  If we focus on what really matters in life and brush off the stuff that just doesn’t matter; and if we really appreciate the good times and cherish each special moment of time we are given in this life; and when things go wrong the only positive thing we can really do is to grow from the experiences and allow them to make us into better people going forward; and when it doesn’t work out the way we want…well get back up and try again because that is the only way we can move forward and be successful in this life.


LOVE IT!  What a great attitude to have about how to face life. Hope it inspires you as much as it did me. Have an awesome day everyone! And smile cause the sun is shining and that is a glorious thing "


~Amy


 She is incredible! Anything she writes is right on amazing. I hope someday she gets to write a book because her life is a true inspiration and a legend.

Core Values

 A few months ago I read a post by Amy who has great advice and wisdom and is the only blogger who makes perfect sense. This is what she wrote on core values I also believe in.

"Several years ago when I was posting my daily blog for my employees of my company I invited them to give me subjects they wanted me to blog about.  Several of them asked me to post about what I think has helped me in my life to be a more successful person and mother, aside from those things that have helped me succeed in business. I was glad that someone asked that question because it really made me stop and think about it at the time, and the truth is that when I really think about what things help me to become a better person and a better mother, I can honestly say that they are actually the very same things that helped me to become a more successful business person too.

My faith.  Without question the core of how I guide my life is my faith in God.  Let me express very clearly on this point that I respect that everyone has the right to believe or not believe whatever they choose to when it comes to religion.  I think religion is a deeply personal decision that no one has the right to make for anyone else.  So please don’t interpret what I will share in this section as some sort of judgment on religion or beliefs, I am solely sharing something about me personally that has made me who I am.  I believe in God as my Heavenly Father who loves me and wants me to become the best person that I can possibly become.  I have faith that God has a plan for me.  I genuinely believe that he cares about each of us personally and that everything that we face in life is meant to help us become a better, kinder, more loving person.  I try to live my life in a way that I would make Heavenly Father proud of me and that is the very core of how I try to make decisions in my life  – would what I am doing today or is the way I am handling this situation such that God would be proud of me?    I think much of my life success as a person and a professional is attributable to my faith and my actions taken because of that faith.

My belief that there is no such thing as Coincidence.  I believe strongly that nothing happens by coincidence and that we should pay attention to the people brought into our lives and the positives we can learn from them and the way we might be able to bless their lives.  I think that much of the time God answers prayers through someone he brings into our lives at different times, and by that same token I think that God expects us to be the answer to other people’s prayers when he needs us to – so it’s up to us to be mindful of those opportunities and to be looking for ways we can serve and help others.   I think that living my life looking for the meaning in everything around me has helped me tremendously as a person.

My Goals.   I am a HUGE believer in setting goals, writing them down, and having a goal poster.  I believe in this more than I even know how to express in a blog.    I have always set goals for myself and I have always let my kids see how important my goals are to me.  I think my dedication to setting and achieving my goals has helped me to be a better mother because I now see that the same importance of setting and achieving goals has been passed on to my children and they have made goals important in their own lives.

Always trying to beat my personal best.  I am a person who competes against myself.  I don’t let myself focus on competing with someone else.  I force myself to focus on always trying to beat my personal best. In doing that I find myself always putting 110% into everything I do.  I always want to feel like I did the absolute best I could do in every situation.  I think that has served me well in accomplishing things both personally and professionally and as a mother.    I never want to look back and regret having only given a partial effort to anything.  I want to know that whether I succeed or fail that I put 110% of me into trying.  I never allow myself to feel complacent about things.  I always stay focused on what I can still improve or what I can still do better.  That keeps me focused on continuing to do better at everything I do every day.  I think that has helped me to be more successful as an individual.

My thirst for knowledge.  I   love to learn.  I always want to be learning and growing.  I read a tremendous amount. I research things and study things.  I ask tons of questions.  I ask the why in everything to try and understand it.  I ask people to teach me things I don’t know.  I watch people I admire at things to see how I can improve myself.  I never get tired of learning.

My desire to help others to excel.  One of the things that helps me the most in my life to be a more successful person in life is my desire to help everyone around me to excel.  I realize that the best way I can achieve my own full potential is to first help others to achieve their full potential.  I believe that helps me to be more successful in every aspect of my life, as a wife, a mother, a sibling, a friend, a professional, a daughter…frankly it helps me to be more successful in every part of my life.

There are many other lessons I have learned in my life that help me to grow as a person.  I truly believe that no matter what area of your life you are trying to be more successful in in, the pathway to get there will always be the same – figure out the core values that you are going to live by.  Then write down the things you will do to uphold those values, and also write down the things that you won’t do because they don’t align with your values.  Then don’t accept anything in your behavior that goes against your values.  Force yourself to live by you core rules that uphold your values." Her wisdom is almost heavenly. She is honest so in tune with what really matters. I never have heard her say anything negative about anyone even her ex-husband and that is admirable!

 

Never forget you are one of a kind

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”  – Muhammad Ali

I can say that I have learned this quote to be true as I have watched my husband at work. So many things that I thought to be impossible when we came to live here in the DR turned out to be absolutely possible with a little ambition, a lot of hard work, and the tenacity to go for it even when it was scary and intimidating and overwhelming.  I can say that I have seen time and time again my own confidence and faith grow as I watched him set huge goals that seemed almost laughable when he set them because they were so far out of his reach, only to have them come true once he had done everything in his power to make them happen and after a huge amount of help from our Heavenly Father and the people in this office.  I know that when you have faith, combined with hard work, impossible can become nothing.

I struggled with self-confidence early in my life, just as so many of us have.  I often felt small and insignificant and incapable. It was hard for me to get good grades even when I studies so hard.  What I learned over the years is the only way to overcome those feelings of fear is to take steps forward, even when you are the most afraid of failure and uncertainty.  Recognize and acknowledge to yourself that you are feeling afraid, but never let that fear stop you from moving forward.

Look, there are very few things in this life that are ever certain, and you are never going to know ahead of time what will succeed and what will fail because life is full of changes and surprises that quickly can send things down an entirely different path then we expected.  Some things that seem like a failure turn out later to have been the very thing that brought us to our biggest successes. Just because you can’t see the final act of your life’s play yet, doesn’t mean that it is doomed to end unhappy or as a failure.  There are going to be plenty of ups and downs between today and the end of the play so trust that when it’s all said and done you will have the “lived happily ever after” fairytale ending that you are hoping for.  But every Cinderella has to deal with a few wicked step sisters and having no dress to wear to the ball and losing a glass slipper, before she finally ends up meeting her Prince Charming.  That is just the reality of life.  Things may appear dark some days and things may appear to be heading in all the wrong directions, but just keep your mind focused on doing the best you can every day…putting yourself out there…continuously moving forward…and have faith that one day your story will end up the way that it should with your happily ever after flashing across the screen.

Impossible is nothing.  Fairy tales come from that notion. Magic can happen in life if you believe, then go do everything in your power to make it be so, and put your faith in God – he will send Fairy Godmothers into your life just when they are needed most to help you on your journey.  Don’t hold yourself back.  Be bold.  Be brave.  Be that one person who makes a difference in the world.

“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world. In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that one person. ” – Richard Buckminster Fuller

Tonight finally we  had our next door neighbors over for dinner as a way to say good bye to this amazing land. Thinking, how proud I am of my husband who did the impossible.

Making a present

I am making this special present with my bear hands. Those are the presents I like to receive and that is why I am making one. This is going to be a scrapbook for my niece Paola. I want to do an ABC book that will tell a little of some of her favorite things. I love making scrapbook albums. An art so heap a dozen of years ago that now is almost dead. With books you can create on line why go through the trouble but it is what brings me joy and that is why I do it. I find it very rewarding and worthwhile. Amy wrote on her blog a few months ago the idea of getting things done so that Saturdays would become days of fun and not tedious work. Here is what she had to say:


"I don’t know about all of you but I have noticed a very interesting phenomenon at my house that has a direct correlation to something that could help us in our work lives and our home lives.  It is this – when my family plans ahead to do something fun on an upcoming Saturday, for example, I have noticed that we somehow find a way during the week to get all of our normal “Saturday” chores done during the week itself, laundry is done, bedrooms are cleaned, and homework is handled – all before Saturday comes. Then when Saturday arrives we are up bright and early ready to hit a day of fun together. Now, contrast that when the opposite case exists. If we have nothing planned for our Saturday then when Saturday morning arrives we all sleep in, wasting a good portion of our day. Our chores are not handled and our laundry is sitting around waiting to be done. Then we spend our Saturday handling things that we feel would have been impossible to handle during the week. How is it that when we have something exciting we want to be available for on the Saturday that we magically find a way to get everything done during the week and we are magically able to jump out of bed early Saturday morning all bright eyed and bushy tailed and excited for our day? Not only that, but during the week we found ourselves more driven and happy as we knocked everything out that had to get done because we knew that by doing so we would make ourselves available for the fun time on Saturday that we were looking forward to, so it didn’t even feel that burdensome to get everything handled that week?

I have decided that it was all about the motivation and inspiration that comes from being excited about an upcoming event or activity that gave us the extra spark to get more accomplished in more organized fashion. When we are excited about something we look forward to it really helps to lighten our mood and helps to shoulder the weight of the responsibilities that we carry. You see, the week wasn’t easier or longer than normal, but we were more excited and enthusiastic about accomplishing our tasks so we could have our reward that weekend.

When I look at what I learned from this experience I realized that I could use this same magic trick that gets my entire family fired up and going to apply to my work life. If I plan something fun for myself or my family for the weekend then I am more motivated to accomplish all of my work so I don’t have to do any emails or spreadsheets over the weekend. And we don’t have to plan something expensive in any way, just something that will be on our calendars for us to look forward to all week. So I have challenged my own family to sit down every Sunday night and plan ahead for the upcoming Saturday with some sort of fun activity that we can all look forward to during the week and that we can all use as a motivator to get our things done. I think it is a good habit to get into and I would challenge everyone to try it with their own families. Like I said, it can be any activity that will give you something to be excited about. Maybe it’s just watching a movie that is coming out that week, or going for a hike or a walk, or taking a road trip for the day, etc. Anything that makes you feel excited and happy all week.

The weekend is almost here!  CHERISH IT!  And when the weekend is over, plan something in your life to look forward to for next week and then watch how productive it makes you all week long!"

“People who say that life is not worthwhile are really saying that they themselves have no personal goals which are worthwhile. Get yourself a goal worth working for. Better still, get yourself a project. Always have something ahead of you to “look forward to“, to work for and hope for.” (Maxwell Malz). 

~Amy

 

Looking at old papers

As I was looking through some old files tonight I came across some hard and harsh words in black and white from who was supposed to be my best friend forever and the father of my girls. I save those papers not because I am a "masoquista" but because I want to remember what I went through in hopes to grow from those hard experiences and to feel blessed of the type of husband I have now and how blessed I am to have to deal with my former husband ever again. I also found some bits and pieces of advice a blogger had posted in a document that contained life lessons that were shared from different people – the document doesn’t show the names of the people that shared these so she did not list them for you, but the lessons shared were awesome lessons and very inspiring to me.  Each “I’ve learned” contains wisdom that we can all learn from so I wanted to share the list with all of you:


I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.


I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.


I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.


I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.


I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.


I’ve learned that my husband and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.


I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.


I’ve learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.


I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.


I’ve learned that sometimes when I feel I may have the right to be angry it doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.


I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.


I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.


I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.


I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.


I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.


I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.


I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.


I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.


I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts


I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.


And like this I will be adding to the list as I come up with other words of advice.

Counsels

Today Daniel had his very important directors meeting with all the people that report to him. He also invited their spouses to attend if they could. The whole meeting was about doing things as a team. They call this "counsels" or consejos in Spanish. He explained that one counsel occurs when at least two or more are involved in doing something.  One of the biggest mistakes bosses make is to try and come off like they know everything and they do everything perfect. Just think about it – if you are an employee with a boss who proclaims to be or acts perfect then why would you ever feel like you had any chance of contributing to their success? Not feeling that your talents and abilities are needed takes the motivation right out of your job.  People want to feel needed and valued – they want to feel like their involvement will help impact the success of the organization and the best way to make them feel that is to be a leader who is open about not knowing everything and needing and wanting others to help contribute to your success in leading. That is why I think Daniel is very successful as a DTA

Some of you may feel uncomfortable taking your wall down and being open, and there is no doubt that being authentic does require a certain amount of vulnerability  – but you have to recognize that being vulnerable is a good thing.  It just takes having the courage to be open and sincere.  People appreciate and value sincerity tremendously and it is that vulnerability and authenticity that allows deep connections to be formed with others.  I realize that many people fear that others will judge them for their vulnerabilities but in my experience that is not the case – I found that the more open Daniel is with his employees the more they engaged with him and the more they support him. The more that they see him as a regular person who is dealing with the same struggles and insecurities they deal with, the more they rallied to have his back and help him succeed.

The best way to gain the confidence that it’s okay to be authentic is to actually be authentic and the more you do it, the more courageous you will feel. Each time it gets a little easier. The more you open up the more empowered you begin to feel. It’s like having permission to just be yourself and feeling at peace with that. And the best part is that the more you are authentic, the more you give others the courage to also be authentic and your circle of true friends will grow exponentially. I love the fact  that people has always comment about Daniel that they know where he stands. He also talked a lot about the training he received from the Bishopric on the law of the fast, tithing and self-reliance and keeping the Sabath day holy doing the things that bring you closer to Christ. Some of the scriptures that were discussed where: Alma 18:15; Alma 37:6-7; D & C 136: 5,9,27; Moses 7:18; 3 Nephi 24: 11,12; D & C 128:11; D & C 84: 85;

What book to take

Today when we got home from Church we decided to work on the office to figure out what books we will leave behind and what we want to take with us and what we want to send back to Utah for storage. Daniel reminded me that everything now is found in the internet and that we can't be carrying around so many heavy books but I love books. Here is a blog post I want to  share because she took my words out of my mouth... "I especially love books that teach you something like the book by Robert Fulghum : All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.
(Villard Books: New York, 1990). The following excerpts are from pages 6-7 and they contain the most simple, yet powerful advice. I love that this advice applies to all of our lives.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I do:

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten      (by Robert Fulghum)

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life – learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play
and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.
Remember the little seed in the styrofoam cup:
The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody
really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even
the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die.
So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned – the biggest
word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.
The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.
Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into
sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your
family life or your work or your government or
your world and it holds true and clear and firm.
Think what a better world it would be if
all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about
three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with
our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments
had a basic policy to always put thing back where
they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you
are – when you go out into the world, it is best
to hold hands and stick together.

SO GOOD! I love that advice and it is so relevant to all of us. I agree the world would be better if we had milk and cookies and a nap everyday. Wouldn’t that be awesome!  And most of all, I agree that we need to hold hands and stick together.  Have an amazing day everyone!" Amy

I also love so many other good books and can't part from them. A favorite of mine is written by a French Author Antoine De Saint-Exupéry: Le petit Pince and like that so many others... sad to know I can't possible take them all!

 

Mango picking

Today I went to Cristobal to the doll factory and to a town near where they grow mangos. It is mango season and there are at least 20 different varieties to chose from. As I looked at all the different varieties of mangos I remember of a blog post I saw from Amy Anderson who published something she saw from Alina Tugend.

"Is there such a thing as too many choices?  Are too many choices a bad thing?  Are 31 flavors of ice cream better than 3?  Do you want paper, or plastic, or the green reusable shopping bag?  Do we want kiddie sized, regular sized, medium sized, or super-sized meals?  There are a million options every day of even the smallest of choices.  So how do we choose?

Researching the answer used to be helpful.  You made a few calls, talked to a few people, and you figured it out, but now it’s totally different.  We have the Internet, and even better we have Google!  It’s like having the world’s largest library at your fingertips, and now thanks to Siri you don’t even have to type your search term, you can simply hit a button and talk to the device. But, Is having access to mounds of research on the Intranet a helpful thing when it comes to making choices, or does it make the process far too difficult because it overloads us with data to sort through in our evaluation of our options to pick from?

The reason this topic is on my mind today is that my husband and I flew out to North Carolina at the end of last week in order to attend the big annual furniture market held there.  This event is the largest furniture market in the U.S. (if not the world?).   We were going there for the purpose of picking out furniture for our new home we are building.  Going into the trip I knew it would be exhausting just based on the size and scope of this expo they hold each year.  Buyers fly in from all around the world with the purpose of finding furniture to carry in their shops.  The entire city is packed with people going from showroom to showroom looking at about every brand of furniture available.  When our decorator first suggested we come I thought “fantastic, this will give me tons of selections to choose from.”  And it did. But what I didn’t realize was that while having tons of choices sounded great coming into the trip, the reality was that as more and more choices cropped up to choose from I felt more and more stressed out, more and more unsure of my decisions, and ultimately I found myself totally drained and unable to figure out what I wanted.

I had to wonder why I was feeling this way?  I had been so excited at the prospect of so many options, so why was I now feeling overwhelmed by them?  So once the trip was done I decided to research a little on the topic and I came across this article:

This is an excerpt from an article was written in 2010 by Alina Tugend in which she shared:

“There is a famous jam study (famous, at least, among those who research choice), that is often used to bolster this point. Sheena Iyengar, a professor of business at Columbia University and the author of “The Art of Choosing,” conducted the study in 1995.

In a California gourmet market, Professor Iyengar and her research assistants set up a booth of samples of Wilkin & Sons jams. Every few hours, they switched from offering a selection of 24 jams to a group of six jams. On average, customers tasted two jams, regardless of the size of the assortment, and each one received a coupon good for $1 off one Wilkin & Sons jam.

Here’s the interesting part. Sixty percent of customers were drawn to the large assortment, while only 40 percent stopped by the small one. But 30 percent of the people who had sampled from the small assortment decided to buy jam, while only 3 percent of those confronted with the two dozen jams purchased a jar.

That study “raised the hypothesis that the presence of choice might be appealing as a theory,” Professor Iyengar said last year, “but in reality, people might find more and more choice to actually be debilitating.””

Ah, ha! It wasn’t just me!!!  Others felt the same way that I was!  Others thought they wanted all the options to select from, but in the end having too many options proved to hurt the situation rather than help.  And I learned that too much research on a decision can leave you even more stressed out, and not just before you make the choice, but afterwards as well because it leaves you with that nagging feeling that perhaps you could have gotten a better deal or made a better choice then you had.

Barry Schwartz shared his thoughts on if there are a right number of options to offer people:

Barry answered, “No, there’s no right number of choices. Two different things are going on: One of them is, the greater the number of options, the more likely you are to find something that suits your desires, so that’s what’s good about it. But probably a point is reached at which additional options don’t add much. Because one of the eight is good enough. And when you add more options, you don’t produce much more additional benefit in being able to select what you want, and all of the negative effects — difficulty choosing, regret, missed opportunity — add up, and you start to pay a price. This one guy did a study with pens, where people got to choose a pen from 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, or 20, and what he found was that optimum satisfaction with the choice seemed to occur between 8 and 12.. So that’s a ballpark number for ballpoint pens, but for dishes on a restaurant menu, the number could be different.”

Barry’s suggestion for alleviating the anxiety we feel from choices is to voluntarily limit the number of items you consider. Why couldn’t I have read his article last week before I spent several days filling my head with a million options??!!??  Oh, well. Live and learn….live and learn…"  Amy

I couldn't decide what mangos to buy so I told the fellow to choose for me an assortment of 20 mangos. They were only 10 cents each and now I wished I would have bought more!

 

Institute class with Nuria

I love teaching and attending classes at the Institute. Nuria Martinez is now teaching about the life of the prophets. There have been 16 so far and each one has done so much for the members. Today I felt a strong impression that we are indeed in the last dispensation of times. The best of times and the worst of times. These students live in a world that is far different than that experienced by their parents. We experienced our fair share of temptations and difficulties but I believe theirs are not only different but far more intense. I recall a talk I heard form Tom Gay on April 19, 2009. I remember this date vividly because I had just met Daniel that month and I recorded almost everything we did together and going to Church was one of them.


We learned about the birth and life of Joseph Smith. He was born on December 23, 1805 and when you think of it, that wasn't so long ago considering how the world has experienced more change in those last 200 years, faster then any other time in history. It used to be that the parent would teach the child! But I think the youth now are the ones teaching their parents as much as parents have ever though them. Case in point: my grandson can navigate the internet and do things on a computer I wouldn't know how. The world today is a different place!! I think that the bad is getting worse, and  the good is getting better. The gap is growing at a very fast pace.


As the world gets more and more wicked, it is so important that we understand who we are; that we understand the blessings available to us and that we understand those promises that God made to the righteous. It is a struggle always to endure to the end. Peter, writing from Rome to the scattered saints, understood their trials and temptation to leave the faith and go back to their old ways. He encouraged the saints as he wrote: " But  ye are chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth praises of him who hath called you our of darkness into his marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9 We are the peculiar people he was referring to. We are different, we must be different!


What is it that makes us peculiar and different?
Besides the fact that we don't drink or smoke, or even drink coffee.
We go to three hours of Church on Sundays, we don't play sports or participate on social activities on Sunday. Our young men and young women give two years of their life at age 18 or 19 to serve the Lord! I don't think that anyone outside the Church can really comprehend why we would do this. 19 is the prime of your life. A time when most young men think of only one thing, girls!


Some young adults might feel at times that the Lords commandments restrict your freedom. Freedom does not imply the absence of restrictions and discipline. In John 8:32, when the savior said: "know the truth and the truth shall make you free" He is telling us that if His truth, if followed would free us from deception and His Gospel, if followed would free us to gain eternal life.


As the light of the Gospel fills our lives our abilities will increase and our desire to be righteous will  continually grow. To be different from the crowd is a privilege. This does not mean that we are going to be judgmental of others who do not share our beliefs. We have been told over and over again to be tolerant, kind and Christ like.


Now, what really makes us different? We have been baptized in the Church of Jesus-Christ by the exact same authority by which Christ himself was baptized. We have received the gift of the Holy Ghost, do not under estimate this great gift. We have the privilege if we are living righteously the right of the companionship and guidance of a member of the Godhead.


We know where we come from and exactly why we are here. This is again something that we can't under estimate. We know and understand God's plan for us, this is something that even  the worlds most educated, famous and wealthy don't have. We have been given the Holy Priesthood of God all because a young boy at age 14 had a question and he acted upon a prompting. To the men of the Church elder Scott said: "How blessed we are to be among the very few men on earth trusted to be authorized to act in the name of the Savior to bless others the righteous use of His priesthood. I wonder, brethren, how many of us seriously ponder the inestimable value of holding the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood. When we consider how few men who have lived on earth have received the priesthood and how Jesus Christ had empowered those individuals to act in His name, we should feel deeply humble and profoundly grateful for the priesthood we hold." It is by this authority that: this world was crated, that miracles can be, and are performed.


If worthy, even we can perform miracles. Which makes us different from the rest of the world, to be able to heal the sick, cure all manner of disease. Healings are among the signs that follow true believers. Faithful young elders have this power. " For whoso is faithful unto the obtaining these two priesthoods of which I have spoken, and the magnifying their calling, are sanctified by the spirit unto renewing of their bodies." D & C 84:33


Our testimonies makes us different! My guess is that the testimonies in any given Church setting vary by about as much as the number of people in it. But it is our testimony and our trust in our Heavenly Father and our Savior Jesus Christ that can get us through nay situation good or bad. Jesus said: " And whosoever shall believe in my name, doubting nothing, unto him will I confirm all my words, even unto the ends of the earth." Mormon 9:25


I was talking the other day with a friend who didn't agree with me on the topic of being virtuous and modest so I thought, I feel so blessed to know that the Gospel of Jesus- Christ gives me a reason to be different!! For the strength of youth tell us... Go forward with faith. Be true to the Lord and to His Church in all circumstances. The authorities of the Church will lead you in paths of happiness. be grateful for the membership in God's kingdom...be humble and willing to listen to the whisperings of the Spirit. Place the wisdom of the Lord above your own wisdom."


My favorite scripture: 2 Nephi 31: 17,20 "Wherefore, do the things which I have told you I have seen the Lord and your Redeemer should do; for, for this cause have they been shown unto me, that ye might know the gate by which ye should enter. For the gate by which ye should enter is repentance and baptism by water; and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost. whatever ye press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men, wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: ye shall have eternal life.

Habit forming

Today and every Thursday morning I go to the temple to be a temple worker and this has become a habit for me. As we were coming from Utah to Idaho Cristi had a book she was listening for her book club on the science of habit and how we do things out of habit without even thinking like when we are driving a car and get from point A to point B without even thinking. Going to the temple on Thursdays is one of those habits and I miss it when I can't go because I feel so at peace when I am there which brings me to the next point I read from my favorite blogger the other day. "First we make our habits, then our habits make us.” – Charles Noble.  How true it is! And so often we talk about trying to change our bad habits, but rarely do we talk about starting good habits. I have learned that focusing on the positive is much more effective for me than focusing on the negative, so rather than discussing giving up our bad habits in life I want to discuss how we can start Good Habits instead. Plus, it has been said that the best way to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a good one, so we can kill two birds with one stone people!! (disclaimer: no actual birds will be killed with a stone in today`s blog) :)…….

Studies show it takes 21 days to form a new habit.  21 days.  You can do ANYTHING for 21 days if you simply set your resolve that you are going to do it!  Don’t give yourself an out.  Take a calendar and highlight 21 days for your habit to form and mark each day off as you accomplish it.   Another thing that can help is to write down a list of benefits you will get from the new habit you start.  For example, if it’s eating healthy you can write down things like:  Looking better, fitting my cute skinny jeans again, having more energy, etc.  Writing down the benefits will serve as good motivation for you to keep on track for the 21 day period.  Set little rewards for yourself when you hit milestones within the 21 days, for example, at day 5 I get this prize and at day 10 I get this, all the way to day 21 when I get to buy a new wardrobe for myself :), etc.   These are just little tricks to help you as you establish your new habits.

I know because I recently tried this for myself when I set the goal to start the habit of healthy eating.  And as of today I have officially lost over 20 pounds so far!   And today I was able to fit into my skinny jeans that I haven’t been able to wear in years and years!  YIPEEE! I tell you this because forming a new habit works – it really does! And I used all the tips above to help me do it, so I know for sure they work!

If you are wondering what new habits you might want to form, I found a list of ideas for fabulous habits people might want to implement.

EXCELLENT HABITS TO DEVELOP:  (by D. Gibson)

1. Habitually think the best of the people you care about.

2. Habitually find the positive side of any equation.

3. Habitually set up a time to read more, grow more, learn more — every day or several times a week.

4. Habitually treat people better — make it a personal standard.

5. Habitually look for the beauty in the world around you.

6. Habitually clean up your language.

7. Habitually do things to take care of your physical self (a challenge for most of us, if there ever was one).

8. Habitually save money.

9. Habitually start looking for new opportunities around you.

10. Habitually make the most of every day.

11. Habitually plan your day or your week, and follow the plan.

12. Habitually take stock of your successes and your needs.

13. Habitually love your family — and spend time with them.

I think it would be great if we all implemented every single one of these as habits in our lives, but each of us should decide ourselves which we want to implement and at what pace.  But if we all did at least one of these as a new habit in our lives to start with and work up from there, we will make huge progress!  So let’s all take the new habit challenge and then 22 days from now let’s share examples of our experiences.  It will be fun to learn about how the experience was for everyone and the success we found by taking the challenge.  It is so motivating to work on new habits together!"

My habit that I am starting today is that for 14 days only because in 14 days I get to travel to El Salvador. I will exercise for at least two hours each day if not more to speed up my slow metabolism and try to lose 10 lbs. following a strict diet in hopes to fit into my beautiful dress at Paola's graduation.

 

Making time

Today I decided to get an album done for my niece Paola but can't get the printer to work. How frustrating. I don't have time to do this but I want to. This brings up a good subject of how we make time when we need to and how we distribute time in our life since we only  have 24 hours each day. I saw this post the other day that caught my attention:

"Ah, yes, time.  The one thing we never seem to have enough of.  Days pass by so quickly that it feels impossible to get it all done.  And yet some days we go at a million miles an hour only to come to the end of the day and wonder what on earth we actually got done.  If I have one big frustration in my life I think it would be that I never feel like I have enough time.  And I am horrible about keeping balance.  It is something I desperately want to improve about myself.

As I thought about that this weekend I realized that there is absolutely nothing in this world I can do to make a day longer than 24 hours.  It is what it is.  So I can either feel frustrated by it and let it control me, or I can reset my thinking and start to view it in a different way.  And so I decided to do a reset.

I have 24 hours each day, so how am I going to use that time?  I made a list of the things I know I want to make time for each day and this is what I came up with:

Time for the Lord, time family, time for exercise, time for learning, time  for work, time for service, time for recreation.

Then I decided to make a template for myself where I took a word document and divided into those seven sections with each as a heading in its own box.  And this week I am going to do an experiment.  I am going to categorize my “to do” bullet items for the day into one of those seven sections where it would best each item fit.  Then I am going to see how many bullets I have in each section.  I think doing this will help me see whether I am achieving any level of balance in my life or not.  To achieve balance I should have items falling into each category.  To avoid getting out of balance I need to make sure that no one category is overloaded.  I have no idea how my experiment will go, but I feel like it may be a good start toward me trying to be better about achieving balance in my life and I feel good about at least making the effort.   I genuinely want to take better control of the time in my life and I definitely want to live a more balanced life, where I make time for everything and everyone that is important to me.

“The direction in which we are moving is more important than where we are at the moment.” –Marvin J. Ashton

And so this week I am moving in the direction of making time for the things that matter and achieving better balance in my life." This reminds me of a book I read long ago by Steven Covey " Spiritual Roots of Human Relations" where he clearly talked about being well balanced in your life by distributing your time on our most basic needs.  I hope this week somehow I get very productive and don't feel like it was a total waste. I love to feel productive!! 

 

A day of remembering

Today marks one week since I got back from Idaho. It's incredible how times fly. I wrote an email to them telling them about all the fun things we did.

Hi girls:

I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed spending time with you last week.

I keep a daily journal to remind me of the many blessing I enjoy each day where I see the Lord's hand blessing my life for which I am so thankful for even on the smallest things such as:

 

Seeing Cristi and her cute little bump and Mari come greet me at the airport

Getting hugs from Manu, Nixon and Beckett. (It is a good feeling to know I am not a stranger)

Making one stop at a gas station just in the nick of time

Having Silvia's apartment waiting for us when we arrived in Utah

Talking to Vale and Hilda and eating pupusas

Praying so that Beckett will get better and he did

Getting my teeth done

Attending Women's Conference

Buying favorite books at the BYU bookstore

Taking a look at the Lehi home to make sure is still there

Going out to eat at a yummy Indian restaurant

Going to Rio Tinto to watch a fun soccer game with Mandy Spencer and Nicole

Remembering to get fill up the gas tank before it would have been too late

Getting back to Idaho safe and sound

Eating some amazing arepas

Looking at Bianca's new residence and meeting maple

Meeting new people at Christi's Church

Taking Beckett for a  ride on his stroller

Going to a Zumba class at YMCA

Finding out Nixon kidneys are fine

Treating the kids to Chick fill A

Looking at a beautiful home for sale around the corner. (My favorite pastime)

Going to the Park with Bianca to play with maple and Beckett

Bianca is feeling much better and doctor gave the ok to travel to El Salvador

Finding out that Cristi is having a boy

Attending Proof Grand opening

Meeting Nicole and her kids and finding out she is pregnant

Taking the kids to the jumping place

Getting a nice facial and make up and  hair done, all courtesy of Mari

Spending time with my baby sister Mari

Going to the village to eat out and watch the kiddos play

Getting a huge surprise from Mandy and Spencer at the mall

Eating out at the Cheese Cake Factory

Meeting new people at Bianca's and Mari's ward

Spending time with all our family for mother's day opening presents

Breaking a piñata

Asking Darlene to take a good photo of our family

On the way home arriving in Phoenix to spend time with Tiffanie, Kimmy, Becky and family

Over all from April 28th to May 11th I was in haven! I love my family!!

Thank you, thank you for spending time with me.

And almost forgot: Getting a massage by Luana for a mother's day present!

 

Love,

Mom, sister, and grandma (nana)

I imagine today Shirley is also celebrating in a big way now with her husband, son and mother since today was her birthday.

Surrounded by good people

In my patriarchal blessing it tells me how I would be surrounded by Heavenly Fathers choices children and over the years I have learned  how true that is! Example:
 

Last night Daniel went to the airport to pick up Elder Gay and Mike Murray. These men are men we admire very much and respect greatly. Both men have had an amazing career. I often hear people say: “my good friend Mike Murray told me once …” because there is so much wisdom that comes out of his mouth when he talks.  

Mike Murray went to school at Stanford, then went to work directly reporting to Steve Jobs at Apple Computers in his 20s as the head of marketing for the Macintosh.  Mike joined Microsoft in 1989 reporting directly to Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer.  He spent 10 years at Microsoft during a 10 year span when the company’s stock grew 40% year over year for the entire 10 year span.  Mike walked away from Microsoft having made significant money off his stock options.  Mike could have chosen to do anything with his money, but what he chose was to dedicate his money and his time to serving others through his charity work.  One of the charities Mike founded is called Unitus which helps increase access to microloans throughout India, Africa and other areas with a need in order to help people find a pathway to self-reliance.  Through his efforts he has been able to affect the lives of hundreds of thousands if not millions of people throughout the world and now he is serving in the PEF/ Self Reliance program for the Church. How cool is that!!

The best part about Mike Murray is the fact that if you were to meet him on the street knowing nothing at all about his incredible success you would literally think you had met one of the kindest, most gentle hearted, humble, and unassuming men out there.  He shows no sign of arrogance or entitlement.  Mike acknowledges that he worked hard for many years to achieve the financial success he achieved, but he then immediately points out that he knows many people who have worked just as hard as he did yet did not get financially blessed the way he did.  You can tell that it genuinely bothers Mike that everyone who works hard doesn’t have the same financial rewards as him and he has now dedicated his life to helping everyone he can to achieve financial success too.

Mike is generous beyond belief. He is thoughtful and authentic and you can feel of his sincerity for helping others – not for the sake of gaining recognition or attention for himself, you can quickly see how uncomfortable that makes him – no, Mike does it solely for the purpose of doing all he can to help others succeed.  He is an amazing example for all of us.

Elder Robert Gay is just as brilliant and very down to earth too. Elder Gay received a bachelor of arts degree in economics with an emphasis in statistics from the University of Utah in 1976. In 1982, he received a PhD in business economics from Harvard University. Most recently, he was the chief executive officer and managing partner of Huntsman Gay Global Capital. Previously, he worked 16 years as a principal and managing director at Bain Capital. He has also worked for GE Capital, McKinsey & Company, and as an instructor in economics at Harvard University. His father was the right hand man for Howard Hughes. One of the most wealthiest billionaires in the world at the time. Elder Gay didn't want to be a business man just to get rich, he told the professors at Harvard, his only mission in life was to make money to help others and he has done just that!

He gave a devotional here in the Dominican Republic two years ago on many of his experiences he had in Africa that had everyone in tears. He is a very humble man and so spiritual. Look him up and spend 10 minutes of your time listening to his talk in 2012 " What Shall a Man Give in Exchange for his Soul"

 Daniel is at the moment having meetings with them. I am thankful we have the chance to associate with good people like Mike Murray and Elder Bob Gay and to learn from their examples of how to make the world around us a better place by using our time and talents and resources to help others which by the way was our lesson we had in Sunday school yesterday.

Have an amazing Monday everyone!

Love,

Vero