In Argentina Halloween is not celebrated so no doorbell ringing to the hundredths of times when you must walk through the house to open the door to pass out candy and right as you are about to do something else the door- bell rings again and again and again so you get nothing done but I do miss seeing all the cute little kids with their cute costumes, because I totally love how adorable they look.
As a replacement, in some parts of the world we get a day off, yes! a holiday dedicated to the Dead! I like the fact that people do genealogy and remember the dead during this time. This is the time when families get together and buy flowers to decorate the tombs at the cemeteries and hold family dinners to pay tribute to those who have passed.
Today I want to pay tribute to my grandmother Hilda.
There is nothing written about my grandmother Hilda thus far, nor have I found any letters, notes, or journals written by her; but I do have four important documents that belong to my grandmother: a birth certificate, a marriage certificate, a baptism certificate and a death certificate. I am going to use these four documents to tell about her life.
From her birth certificate,I learned that on May 29, 1924 a special little girl was born to Antonia Alvarenga in a small dusty town of Teotepeque, El Salvador. This baby was named HIlda and carried her mother’s last name of Alvarenga because her father, Fidel Melara, lived in another town and didn’t want to continue his relationship with Antonia. This new baby was Antonia's second daughter, and Fidel her second husband. Her first husband had died leaving her almost destitute. Although Antonia needed the support from Fidel, she was too submissive and never complained to him for his lack of child support and interest in their daughter Hilda.
That was not the ideal situation for my grandmother who never got to know her father up until age 30 when she had children of her own. It must have been hard to have felt rejected as a daughter.
From my grandmother’s marriage certificate,I learned that in the year 1939,
at the tender age of 15, in the City of San Salvador, Hilda Alvarenga was married to
Carlos Henriquez. This was Carlos’ second marriage. They started a family right
away, and by November 11, 1952, my grandmother had given birth to eight
children in only twelve years. I can’t think of too many 27 year olds who can manage a household of that many children. The first born was my mom Gloria, then came Edgardo, who died at six month of age from croup cough; then Dina, Silvia, Carlos, Norma, Julio, and Tony. Her children were always clean, and well groomed. My mom remembers, “We were never allowed to swear. We had to use good manners and be polite.” Mama Hilda used to say:” You don’t need to be wealthy to have class.”
In 1959, two LDS missionaries knocked on my grandmother’s door. This blessing couldn’t have come to a family who was ready to hear the message of the restored gospel. Her daughters: Silvia and Dina were baptized that same year followed by Norma and my grandmother who were baptized in 1960, the year I was born, according to the baptism certificate. Shortly after my grandmother was baptized a member of the church she was called to be the Branch Relief Society President. In a Conference talk given by her daughter Silvia H. Allred she said the following:
“My mother was a resent convert to the Church when she was called to be the Relief Society president in our small branch in San Salvador. She told her branch president that she was inexperienced, unprepared and inadequate. She was in her thirties, had very little formal education and her whole life had been devoted to the care of her family of seven children, but the branch president called her anyway. I watched my mother
rise to the occasion. While serving, she learned leadership skills and developed new
gifts such as teaching, public speaking and planning and organizing meetings,
activities, and service projects. She influenced the women in the branch. She served
them and taught them to serve one another. The sisters loved and respected her. She
helped other women to discover, use and develop gifts and talents. She helped them
become builders of the kingdom and of strong spiritual families. She stayed faithful
to the Temple covenants she made. When she passed away, she was at peace with
her maker. A sister who served with her as her counselor in the Relief Society
wrote me a letter years later. “Your mother was the person who taught me the
way to become what I am now. From her, I learned charity, kindness, honesty and
responsibility in our callings. She was my mentor and my example. I am now 80
years old but have stayed faithful to the savior and his gospel. I have served a
mission and the Lord has blessed me greatly.” My grandmother Hilda is featured on “Daughters in My Kingdom” publication for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Pgs. 91-92.
My grandmother’s life was full of wonderful memories with friends and family
on one hand but also a lot of turmoil in her personal life, she ended up as a single mother when she and Carlos separated and had to do it all on her own. I can only imagine having to support a large family must have been stressful. I vividly remember how uptight she was most of the time. She only gave you one look and you knew what to do. I can almost blame all that stress as the cause of her cancer.
Despite her illness and great disappointments as the prognosis didn’t look good, Grandma Hilda was a strong woman who carried herself with dignity, probably dying of loneliness inside but keeping her spirits up the best way she knew how. I went to visit her with my family the Christmas of 1989 and that was the last time I saw her.
According to her death certificate, my grandmother Hilda died two months later at age 65 from ovarian cancer. My grandmother Hilda left a remarkable legacy to her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and theirs of a woman who had a strong testimony of the Church and did her best in anything she got involved in. She was a wonderful daughter, wife, mother, sister and friend. My grandmother exemplified faith, virtue, patience, knowledge, diligence, humility, kindness and charity. Tears moisten the faces of many as they expressed feelings of love and gratitude toward her when they knew of her passing. My grandma used to say: “There are only three things you need to do. One: learn the will of the Lord. Two: Keep His commandments and Three: Obey.” Her example has blessed me and my family.
I imagine how proud my grandmother must be feeling today to see so many of her posterity doing well not only economically but spiritually. When I was getting married in the Salt Lake Temple, the sealer was inspired to say that many spirits were there and I felt strongly that my grandmother was there as a witness too. She wanted her children and grandchildren to be successful and to do what is right and to learn from other people’s mistakes. She valued education, hard work, and kindness. She was generous even at the time when she had very little to offer. Grandma Hilda loved to serve others, especially poor women who had nowhere to go like the woman who ironed her clothes. Many lessons were learned in her humble home but the biggest lesson of all is that she endured to the end!
Con amor,
Vero
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