Today is Father’s Day in El Salvador. My father would say: “Always go to the funeral.” The first time he said it directly to me, I was trying to get out of going to the viewing for my aunt. She was an alcoholic, all I remember was how she wore her pajamas no matter what time of day. Every time she hugged me, I could tell by her breath that she had been drinking. I barely knew her. I refused to go. My father was unequivocal. “Vero” he said, “you’re going. Always go to the funeral. Do it for the family!” On a cold morning, February 3rd, 2006, I was informed of my father’s death, and that is when I understood full well my father’s personal philosophy to always attend the funeral. This time it was his funeral!
My father had type 2 diabetes. He was on dialysis. That day, he woke up not been able to breath. He was rushed to the nearest clinic but before they got there, his lungs were filled with water and collapsed. That is when he stopped breathing. My mother was at his side and saw when he took his last breath. He died peacefully in her arms.
I couldn’t believe I would never talk to him again. When I got the call, this quote came to mind. “Anybody can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy.” I was anxious to be with my family as quickly as possible but I was 3,000 miles away, had to get on two flights and waited at three airports. The trip took all day which gave me time to think about his life.
What I remember was my dad’s love for Radio! He had so much knowledge about the radio business. He created an icon. YSKL Radio was his livelihood, in time, he built an empire of a chain of radio stations. The business kept him alive because he was so passionate about it.
The demands of the broadcasting business meant that my father was unable to spend as much time with his family as other fathers could. Growing up I always wished I had a normal father. One who would simply be home but later I understood that his business was the only thing that made him happy. I was fine with that since he became successful considering that he came from a poor socio-economic upbringing.
He had strong opinions on practically everything, especially politics. Nothing amused my father more than discussing his political views. I remember vividly a conversation he had over the phone, he said: "we need to stand against Fidel Castro and the devastating effects of Communism in Latin America. Communisms only brings three things: Chaos, crisis and crime. My biggest fear,” he added, “is that El Salvador could become another Cuba. You can never trust those guys” He was not o.k. with the thought that you became property of the government and were not allowed to have the basic freedoms such as the freedom to believe in God. My father was in good standing with the Catholic Church. I remember him saying: “I believe in God and in the destiny of men.” He believed that after all you could do, ultimately God was in charge.
People called my dad Meme or gato, (cat) his nickname. His eyes were soft blue and always since I can remember wore a mustache. He was a man of few words, he never spoke too much except when interrogating my boyfriend Brad. I am afraid Brad was unprepared for the unique inquisition to which he was subjected to. My father like any good father, wanted to check him out, he was very suspicious and it proved that my father was right!
My dad was a hard worker, from the time he was young, he needed to work to help his widowed mother. His schooling ended before he graduated from High School, however, he was an avid reader and he was blessed with a retentive mind. He conversed easily with men and women from all walks of life.
My dad was as comfortable in an elegant mansion as he was in a humble home of a peasant. People marveled at my father’s grasp of all matters political, economical, scientific, anything. He could remember in detail historic events that took place decades ago. He listened as attentively to little people with big problems as he listened to CEO of companies, Presidents and Ministers many of them where his friends. He knew personally many past Presidents and city mayors. One time he got to be an interim Mayor. I remember this because he was the one who signed my ID card and married some people while I waited in the foyer outside his office.
My father
was generous with his time and even air time and money. He supported many causes to help the poor. Many would come to him for financial relief. He believed in people and was generous although some were dirty scoundrels and only stole his money. Conversely my father introduced me to nice people and places more fascinating than anyone or anything I ever encountered as a young girl. Anyone of importance, dignitaries or celebrities stopped by the radio station to see him because they knew my father would support their cause, mission or concert at the time when they were starting their singing careers. I can’t lie, my dad was not perfect but did the best he could with what he knew and he learned how to be honest. Anything he ever borrowed, he gave it back. I am proud of my father who never gave into bribes. He did business with people the most honest way possible.
These were a few of his favorite things:
He loved cars, all makes and models. He had hired a mechanic to work on his cars full time. He loved driving a different car for each day of the week.
He loved to watch all sports! basketball, baseball, car races, horse races, tennis, golf, but his favorite was soccer. He even owned a private room at our national soccer stadium.
He loved the entrepreneur life. He was not a big spender because he never had a lot of money in his wallet. Never! His money was always tied up in some savings account. He needed the seed money for some other future investment.
He loved to travel. Most of our travels were mostly to the U.S. to visit family in Utah and Florida. He even purchased a condo in Miami. A highlight I remember was going on my first cruise to the Greek islands. We also stopped in Holland, Turkey and Spain. Another memorable trip was our South American vacation to Peru and Chile. That trip plus countless of others were curtesy of my father and were the things he liked doing together as a family.
He loved music. All types of music. He loved the oldies but goodies as much as he loved contemporary music. One minute he could be listening to the great big bands and the next minute he would listen to The Rolling Stones. I liked the fact that he didn’t mind listening to Rock and Roll. We both could listen to the same artists. Besides listening to music, he loved to play the guitar and piano.
Elder Robert D. Hales stated: “Accomplish personal goals in each of these categories: spiritual development; physical development; educational development; personal development; career development; and citizenship and social development” I don’t think my father had that type of balance. All my father ever did was work. He needed a little more balance in his life for sure.
He was 83 when his death was announced. His funeral was attended by at least 800 people who knew him and was transmitted over the airways. I even spoke on the air to hundreds of people listening. That day, the city of San Salvador mourned the loss of a distinguished citizen who was known as Manuel Antonio Flores for 83 years but we, his family, mourned the loss of a very special father and grandfather.
Despite his idiosyncrasies, my father managed to show us how to save money for a rainy day, how to laugh until you cry and your stomach hurts but most of all, how to be honest and take care of your hard-earned money. He showed us by example how to be a hard worker.
His death couldn’t have come at the most precarious time in my life. I thought, “why is this happening precisely now when I am dealing with a pending divorce.” It felt unbearable!
My dad taught me one last lesson.
Here is what I’ve learned: As I watched his casket been placed on the ground, I suddenly realized, he was teaching me one last lesson because he was not taking any material possessions to the grave. All my father took with him were the memories we had made which made a big impression on me of where I want to invest my time and with whom.
Con amor,
Vero
