What are pet peeves?

The past two weeks reading the Doctrine and Covenants and what the backstory was when they received the revelations, I have been thinking about how human the early Saints were. We got to know their idiosyncrasies and those things that annoyed them about each other and at the same time how they help one another when it was needed. I take comfort in knowing that even though they were not perfect, they did have faith and it was that faith that kept them going. I have sometimes wonder if I had even that brave. 

A few years ago, I was introduced to the phrase pet peeves. Here are 75 pet peeves I have collected from friends.

1. Loud chewing, or people chewing with their mouths open.

2. When people are late or make me run late because I’m waiting for them. 

3. People who are chronically late. A one-off I can maybe understand, but it’s incredibly rude to think your time is more valuable than the 15 to 30 minutes you’re making me wait.

4. People who scuff their feet as they walk down the street, especially if they’re wearing UGGs.

5. People smoking electronic cigarettes around non-smokers. Smoking is smoking

6. People who chew gum loudly and attempt to blow bubbles in confined quarters.

7. The feel of chalk.

8. People who walk into the subway and stand right in front of the door.

9. People who don’t cover their mouths when they cough.

10. People who discuss being on a diet while you’re in the middle of eating something unhealthy.

11. People who say “ew” to the food on your plate.

12. People who eat food off your plate without asking first.

13. When people ask if they can have some of your food as they make a grab for it. 

14. People who use redundant hashtags on Instagram, like #me #human #girl #selfie.

15. People who say “no offense” as if it downplays anything insulting they say.

16. People who say “literally” when what they mean is not literal.

17. People who “woo” when their favorite song comes on.

18. Hearing people bite their nails.

19. People that clip their nails at work, while sitting at their desk. 

20. When groups of people take up the entire side of the street. MOVE.

21. People who walk slowly or stop suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk.

22. People who have visited your country once and they think they are experts on the culture, politics and the people. 

23. Line cutters. There are social rules you must follow.

24. People who don’t know how to get through airport security efficiently. It’s been 15 years. You know! 

25. People who stand on the left side of an escalator. Right is for standing! Left for walking! 

26. When people act like they are doing you a favor when you are paying for their service.  

27. Misspelled signs.

28. Misspelling my name when it’s right there in the email staring you in the face.

9. When dog owners leave their dog’s poop on the sidewalk.

30. Slow cashiers.

31. Saying “Let’s make plans!“ then acting surprised when I try to follow up and make actual plans.

32. Online stores that charge a ton of money for shipping.

33. Food that only pretends to be organic.

34. People who say anyways when the word is anyway. 

35. Gluten-free fanatics who have no medical justification to avoid gluten.

36. Subway pole huggers.

37. People who say something “will give you all the feels.”

38. People who talk over you when you’re clearly still in the middle of the sentence.

39. When people say “on accident.” It’s BY accident.

40. Passive aggressive behavior. If you have something you want to say, just say it.

41. When you can hear someone eating their cereal.

42. Strangers on the subway who choose to listen to their music through the speakers, instead of headphones.

43. When you’re running after the bus, you lock eyes with the bus driver in the rear -view mirror, and they still drive straight past you.

44. When you are just to get in the parking slot as someone else gets in that parking space when they know you got there first. 

 

45. People who blow their noses while you are sitting at a table eating.

46. When people call Latinos Mexicans. Most of us weren’t born in mexico. 

47. People who groom themselves on public transportation

48. When people repeatedly hit the elevator button, as if that’ll make the elevator arrive sooner. 

49. When people shove past you on the street and say “excuse you!”

50. This non-apology: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” 

51. When people spend more time on their phone during dinner or brunch than they do interacting with the people present at the table.

52. People who sing out loud out of nowhere in a crowd of people.

53. The reply-all that asks to be taken off -of an email thread. 

54. People with an inflated sense of their own importance.

55. People who say “no problem!” or “no worries!” in response to “thank you.” The appropriate thing to say in return is, “You’re welcome.”

56. People who seal a ziplock bag without removing the air first.

57. People who say “myself“ instead of “me” or “I.”

 

58. LGBTQ who think everyone should think and act like them.

 

59. Clapping at the end of a movie in theater.

 

60. Talking out loud on the phone in public.

 

61. People who don’t silence their phone when they play a game in public.

 

62. Receiving emails from a colleague with my boss CC’d.

63. People who take selfies when there are other people around to take the picture.

64. When you are not invited to an event when you have planned all the logistics. 

65. When people go to irrational lengths to keep their middle name a secret.

66. People who say “you should have been there“ when you clearly weren’t there.

67. People who say “this is her“ when someone on the phone asks for them. Just say “Yes.”

68. Companies that post 14 Instagrams in a row because they form a larger image on their account. No one goes to your account page.

69. People who abbreviate things that don’t need to be shortened. 

70. When people describe how they ate something really bad yesterday and should really stay home. Just say you’re taking a sick day. Nobody needs to hear the details.

71. People who say “eh, you know“ when you casually ask them how they’re doing. How would I know. 

72. Public display of affection, especially if you are gay.

73. People who send emails longer than three sentences, or one paragraph. Call or explain in person. Who has time to read through all of that?

74. People who complain that they don’t have time to read emails or tweets or know what’s up because they’re “too busy,” implying that you’re a loser with too much spare time. 

75.  Coke that costs more than $3.

There you have it! 

Con amor,

Vero

Higher Ground

Every Wednesday I post something special that someone share on social media that has uplifted or tough my soul. 

 

This is from a dear fearless young mother I know. This is what she wrote:

 

I had an experience a few days ago that has been resting in my heart. It’s been sitting like a heavy but beautiful weight. The details are not so much important but the lesson it taught me, powerful.

For the first time, in as long as I can remember I hesitated to do good. That in and of itself really frightens me. I was frozen in trepidation. A fear to do good.

 

Since when is doing something kind for another hard? Well in today’s society, many would feel that time is now.

 

This week my missionary shared a quote on Facebook, “May we ever choose the harder right than the easier wrong.” The easier response would have been to walk on by; to ignore the situation but Elder Lamb’s reminder, propelled my heart in to action. It was the reminder I needed. The inspiration that choosing the harder path, is always the most rewarding. 

 

 “In these challenging times, the need to “minister unto the least of these” of our Father’s children is so great. How much we need the gifts of discernment and wisdom and charity to know how to really reach down and lift up our brothers and sisters to higher ground.”

 

The world would tell you to stand down. As your friend, I want to tell you to stand up. To reach down and lift others to a higher ground. Acts of kindness do not go unnoticed, they are the glue that holds the broken pieces of the world together. 

 

J. J. Lamb 

Notes from D & C 98-101

From section 98 to 101 I learned:

 

Be Still and Know that I am God. He is in the details of our lives

Find a quiet moment to be still 

The Saints were going through an Abrahamic test

Sadly, they brought it upon themselves

Fear not, in everything give thanks

Zion is both a place and of people 

Wait patiently on the Lord. God is aware of your prayers 

He is the Lord of hosts, Lord of Armies, Lord of Sabaoth. 

Zion will be preserved 

Give them reason to respect you. You supposed to be buiding a temple 

You overcome evil by proclaiming peace 

The work still goes on

All things work together for our own good 

Put things the things from God, the temple for example

This is the first time we become aware of the rule of law (3 Nephi 11:40)

The watchman in the tower is the prophet of God 

God is in charge, things will work out in the end

Pray for righteousness. Pray for the forces of God

Let us stand firm against evil both home and abroad

Joseph tried to appealed to the government but to no avail 

Let us live worthy of the blessings to live with Him. The Father of us all

We are people of peace, we are freedom loving people

Don’t take counsel from your fears. Let your heart be comforted. Be fearless! 

John Murdock had a life -long mission. He was called to preach at a hard time 

Willingly accept correction or chastening. God considers us worth of correcting

To persuade us to repent to refine and sanctify us, to re direct our course 

To what God knows is a better path. Correction may come in prayer, reading the scriptures, or our leaders who call us to repentance or can cause from our spouse or family member. 

Many Saints settled in Missouri too fast. They were becoming too powerful, they clash with their neighbors, politically, economically, socially, religious views. That provoked the government leaders to expel them. They burn their houses and tar and feather their members as well as breaking in to throw away the printing press. Revelation 98 was received days before Joseph Smith knew about what was happening in Missouri after the revelation was received

Kirkland Ohio and Independence Missouri are 900 miles away, that is like when we go to Nebraska from Utah.

The Saints were going through infuriating unfairness

In the eternities, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ will resolved all the unfairness 

All that is unfair about life can be made right through the atonement of Jesus Christ 

In everything five thanks.

The refiner’s fire is real. Qualities, of character and righteousness are forged in the furnace of affliction perfect and purify us to meet God. 

“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord. Our safety relies in repentance, our strength comes through the obedience of the commandments of God. Let us be prayerful.” Elder Cook 

The saints had been commanded to stand in higher ground and wait. What does it mean to wait? It means to hope, to anticipate and to trust. It requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long suffering, enduring to the end. 

In General Conference 2014 “When we are grateful to God in our circumstances we can experience gentle peace in the mist of tribulation. “ Elder Uchtdorf. 

The Lord wants his Saints to be law abiding and active citizens 

We live in an age of the gathering

We are building temples to dot the earth

The saints are chastened and commanded to repent 

What would have been a saving grace is if they had built the temple

The Lord only will allow war when He commands it

Forgive your enemies, if they will repent, they will be forgiven

The Constitution was inspired by men of God. The laws need to be constitutional as long as it promotes freedom. I the Lord will make you free.” 

Our loyalty is to the constitution, not to any office holder or party affiliation 

The United States Constitution is unique because God releveled it 

As long as it promotes freedom. I the Lord made you free! 

The Law should continue to make you free. 

When the wicked rule, the people mourn 

That is why the constitution is of special concern to the Church and throughout the world  

The Constitution is for the people not for kings and rulers 

Citizens are to promote constitutional principles

Don’t fall into Party politics 

God has given his children moral agency

In Greek repent means to turn away 

We have a State and Federal government 

Three separation of powers 

The Bill of Rights and The Rule of law

Even under persecution or opposition, Saints should extend forgiveness and without retribution 

The Holy Spirit can enable us to teach with power. You say things you did not plan to say

You always learn something from what you say when the spirit is teaching 

Teach with the scriptures in your hand. Let people know where you find the inspiration

Make your testimony of and from the scriptures 

We should seek for good, honest and wise men and women in government 

Take an active role that promotes the constitutional freedom rather than political agendas 

You must forgive 70X7 or in orders words until you stop counting, not seeking revenge

In the millennium Satan shall have no power. No deaths .

Built first His kingdoms. We are the salt of the earth 

The parable of the nobleman and the olive trees. The Saints are to gather

If you do it may way, you get my help 

1.    Have the right attitude. Attitude is everything! 

2.    Have the right motive or reason

3.    Don’t retaliate of strike back on Alma 43 it explains why not fight back.

 

In the past 200 years, we have been gathering Israel all over the world. 

Be prepare, keep pleading, pray always. 

 Con amor,

Vero

To Sell or not To Sell

We were asked to read a book by a British Author, “How the Penguins Saved Veronica” It was interesting to read it because I kept hearing my name over and over throughout the book. In the novel, she has a box of journals from the time she was a young woman. It’s always intriguing to look back in some old journals to read what we were up to so long ago. 

 

If I had only known that the housing market was going to be so hot, I would have never sold two homes in such a hurry or being so desperate to sell. We also lost money selling the building and shop in Tucson. Why do we do that? If I had only known then what I know now! 

 

I remember in in 1988 we had a vacant home in Canyon Rim for a whole year and received no offers. Again, ten years later in 1998 we were trying to sell our home on the prestigious Olympus Cove. The Diana Way home but as my journal reads: “All the realtors want a listing of my home but they can’t find me the buyer which is what I want. I tend to get desperate too soon with these kinds of stresses. I just hope to have faith that things will turn out for the better.” Fast forward to today, realtors will want to find you a home but they can’t because homes are selling within a day or two. It almost seems that you need to know about a house before it hits the market. 

 

Going back in time, we were so desperate that we offer the home to Shirley so that Lisa would move a to better area to raise Travis, so in a sense it worked out for the better. Nevertheless, no one expected what happened in 2008 with the house crash like no one expected what is happening now in 2021 with homes totally ridiculously expensive. 

 

Again, today our biggest dilemma is what to do with the apartments in City Creek? We got apartments because they are so much easier to maintain and they have retained its value but not as easy to rent. We are going to be in town next month and decide whether we should sell to do another exchange or put our money somewhere else? Or keep things the way they are and be patient, hoping that a good renter will come along. One thing I have learned is that there comes a point when you should trust your gut feeling. Find out ways to increase the value of your dollars but the million -dollar question is how? It looks like my little business is not going well and that worries me. If I only knew the future. 

 

Con amor,

Vero

Grateful in any Circumstances

Every Sunday I go over a talk. Here is what I have been studying this past week from Elder Uchtdorf as a supplemental reading from Section 98-101 of the Doctrine and Covenants as the Saints were dealing with severe persecution. 

Over the years, I have had the sacred opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very depths of their soul. In these moments, I have listened to my beloved brothers and sisters and grieved with them over their burdens. I have pondered what to say to them, and I have struggled to know how to comfort and support them in their trials.

Often their grief is caused by what seems to them as an ending. Some are facing the end of a cherished relationship, such as the death of a loved one or estrangement from a family member. Others feel they are facing the end of hope—the hope of being married or bearing children or overcoming an illness. Others may be facing the end of their faith, as confusing and conflicting voices in the world tempt them to question, even abandon, what they once knew to be true.

Sooner or later, I believe that all of us experience times when the very fabric of our world tears at the seams, leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift.

It can happen to anyone. No one is immune.

We Can Be Grateful

Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful!

It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding.

As disciples of Christ, we are commanded to “thank the Lord [our] God in all things,”¹ to “sing unto the Lord with thanksgiving,”² and to “let [our] heart be full of thanks unto God.”³

Why does God command us to be grateful?

All of His commandments are given to make blessings available to us. Commandments are opportunities to exercise our agency and to receive blessings. Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness.

Being Grateful for Things

But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”

Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. True, it is important to frequently “count our blessings”—and anyone who has tried this knows there are many—but I don’t believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease. In fact, most of the scriptural references do not speak of gratitude for things but rather suggest an overall spirit or attitude of gratitude.

It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful forthings, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.

There is an old story of a waiter who asked a customer whether he had enjoyed the meal. The guest replied that everything was fine, but it would have been better if they had served more bread. The next day, when the man returned, the waiter doubled the amount of bread, giving him four slices instead of two, but still the man was not happy. The next day, the waiter doubled the bread again, without success.

On the fourth day, the waiter was really determined to make the man happy. And so he took a nine-foot-long (3-m) loaf of bread, cut it in half, and with a smile, served that to the customer. The waiter could scarcely wait for the man’s reaction.

After the meal, the man looked up and said, “Good as always. But I see you’re back to giving only two slices of bread.”

Being Grateful in Our Circumstances

My dear brothers and sisters, the choice is ours. We can choose to limit our gratitude, based on the blessings we feel we lack. Or we can choose to be like Nephi, whose grateful heart never faltered. When his brothers tied him up on the ship—which he had built to take them to the promised land—his ankles and wrists were so sore “they had swollen exceedingly,” and a violent storm threatened to swallow him up in the depths of the sea. “Nevertheless,” Nephi said, “I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.”⁴

We can choose to be like Job, who seemed to have everything but then lost it all. Yet Job responded by saying, “Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return … : the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”⁵

We can choose to be like the Mormon pioneers, who maintained a spirit of gratitude during their slow and painful trek toward the Great Salt Lake, even singing and dancing and glorying in the goodness of God.⁶ Many of us would have been inclined to withdraw, complain, and agonize about the difficulty of the journey.

We can choose to be like the Prophet Joseph Smith, who, while a prisoner in miserable conditions in Liberty Jail, penned these inspired words: “Dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”⁷

We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do afterour problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.

This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.

Gratitude as an Act of Faith

Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true.⁸ By being grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.”⁹

True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will.

In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.”¹⁰

It must have been this kind of testimony that transformed the Savior’s Apostles from fearful, doubting men into fearless, joyful emissaries of the Master. In the hours following His Crucifixion, they were consumed with despair and grief, unable to understand what had just happened. But one event changed all of that. Their Lord appeared to them and declared, “Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.”¹¹

When the Apostles recognized the risen Christ—when they experienced the glorious Resurrection of their beloved Savior—they became different men. Nothing could keep them from fulfilling their mission. They accepted with courage and determination the torture, humiliation, and even death that would come to them because of their testimony.¹² They were not deterred from praising and serving their Lord. They changed the lives of people everywhere. They changed the world.

You do not need to see the Savior, as the Apostles did, to experience the same transformation. Your testimony of Christ, born of the Holy Ghost, can help you look past the disappointing endings in mortality and see the bright future that the Redeemer of the world has prepared.

We Are Not Made for Endings

In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless¹³ and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.

How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings.

Those Who Are Grateful Will Be Made Glorious

Brothers and sisters, have we not reason to be filled with gratitude, regardless of the circumstances in which we find ourselves?

Do we need any greater reason to let our hearts “be full of thanks unto God”?¹⁴

“Have we not great reason to rejoice?”¹⁵

How blessed we are if we recognize God’s handiwork in the marvelous tapestry of life. Gratitude to our Father in Heaven broadens our perception and clears our vision. It inspires humility and fosters empathy toward our fellowmen and all of God’s creation. Gratitude is a catalyst to all Christlike attributes! A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues.¹⁶

The Lord has given us His promise that those “who [receive] all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto [them], even an hundred fold, yea, more.”¹⁷

May we “live in thanksgiving daily”¹⁸—especially during the seemingly unexplainable endings that are part of mortality. May we allow our souls to expand in thankfulness toward our merciful Heavenly Father. May we ever and constantly raise our voices and show by word and deed our gratitude to our Father in Heaven and to His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ. For this I pray, and leave you my testimony and blessing, in the name of our Master, Jesus Christ, amen.