"Editor’s
Note: This is the second of three columns on New Year’s resolutions. A version
of this column was published previously on FamilyShare.com. With all of
our temporal resolutions this new year — the diets and the commitments to be
more punctual, honest or kind — perhaps we should also make a spiritual
resolution: to pray more, and to pray better.
Alfred, Lord
Tennyson said, “More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of.”We live in a secular society where spiritual things are rarely discussed, but many of us believe in God, pray to him and ask for his blessings and intervention.
But is
praying frequently enough? In the holy Christian scriptures, one of the most
often repeated admonitions is to “ask” in prayer. That admonition almost always
comes with a promise: “Ask and ye shall receive.”
The
invitation is so inviting and unequivocal that it is, perhaps, a little hard to
believe, a little too good to be true. The idea of an all-powerful God, whom we
often refer to as our Father, awaiting our requests and inclined to grant them
is almost beyond imagination as is the notion that unseen guardian angels are
around us, willing and able to help us.
Yet we do
pray and, according to a 2011 poll, 80 percent of us believe in angels.
Why does God
ask us so often to ask? Could it be because we have agency on this mortal earth
and God is committed to that agency and will not violate it by taking the
initiative in randomly sending us unrequested blessings? Perhaps the God who
has all and wants to give all to his children needs us to take the initiative
by asking him so that he can give to us without undermining our agency and
freedom of choice.
If we think
harder about what we truly need, what others need and what we need help with,
perhaps we will then pray harder and more specifically, unlocking God's
promises.
Deeper, more
thoughtful prayer can be a faith-building experience so long as we remember
that God, who knows infinitely more than we, will answer our prayers according
to his wisdom and not ours. The answers will not always be what we are
expecting. If we forget this fact, then unexpected answers may feel like a
detriment to our faith rather than an enhancement.
Here are our
four simple suggestions for improving prayer that some may want to try:
1. Let
prayer become the focal point of your gratitude. Most people acknowledge the
connections between gratitude and happiness. We think it's even more than that.
Gratitude is happiness in its most obtainable form.If gratitude is just a vague feeling, a subject without an object, an intransitive verb, it is like saying “thank you” to no one. When gratitude is directed to God, it becomes clear, defined and more likely to produce happiness.
Start prayer by focusing on blessings — feeling them — and saying "thank you" for them.
2. Ask what to ask for. If we try to develop faith in a God who cares about us and who knows us and knows what we need better than we know ourselves, then it makes sense to base our prayers not so much on our own wants but on what he wants for us. Thus it is an undeniably good idea to ask him what to ask for. Prayerful questions such as “What do you want for me?” seem to yield thoughts and feelings — sometimes called inspiration.
Asking for things we have been spiritually prompted to ask for takes prayer to a whole new level and begins to magnify our sense of purpose as well as our faith.
3. Listen
and take “prayer notes.” If you were granted an audience or a private moment
with a great and wise guru and had a chance to ask that person some questions,
you would likely listen very attentively to the answers and take notes. Get a
notebook or a book of blank paper and start a “prayer journal” in which you
write down what you feel during prayer. Listen as much as you talk. When you
ask for something, pause, listen and write down any feelings, nudges or
impressions that come.
4. Practice
partnership prayer. If you are married, pray together out loud. Instead of only
one speaking and the other only listening, you might make your partnership
prayer like a meeting, where both can speak (thank or ask) within the same
prayer. Perhaps one
could start the prayer and squeeze the other’s hand when finished; then the
other could pray aloud and squeeze, back and forth. When the squeezes stop, the
one who did not start the prayer could end it.The bottom
line is, there are many ways to improve ourselves and strengthen our marriages
and families. Perhaps better prayer is the best way to do both."Richard and Linda Eyre are N.Y. Times No. 1 best-selling authors and founders of JoySchools.com who speak throughout the world on marriage and parenting issues. Their two new books are "The Turning" and "The Thankful Heart." See valuesparenting.com
I love Linda and Richard Eyre. I used to do joy school with Bianca who is now almost 30 so they have been around forever. I love their wisdom and their ideas. My prayer today is to say more meaningful prayers and not repeat the same things over and over again. We always pray at night but often forget to do it in the morning like today. The normal is to kneel down right before he takes off to go to work but today he was in a hurry so we skipped the morning prayer. I will now go to my room and pray. There is so much I am thankful for and a few things I need to ask.
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