Saturday, October 13, 2018

My Prince Charming

It's October 13th, 2018 and only three days to celebrate our anniversary! Yay! Each month of the year has something very special about it, like January for us since we both celebrate our birthdays and October when we celebrate our anniversary, so each time we go to Salt Lake for General Conference, I can't help to think that it is also the month we are celebrating another year together as a family.

We left on September 27th to attend Nacho's wedding, hosted a family dinner and went to the sealing and reception the next day. Spent time with family, got our  batteries charged at General Conference and DTA meetings and are back in Manila. It was amazing to think of all the things we did as a family including going to General Women's Conference for the first time. Here in the Philippines, tomorrow is when people stay home to view at home or at a chapel. It was so neat to see some of our grandkids that we hadn't seen for months.

Do I believe in Prince Charmings? Totally.  But Prince Charming certainly isn’t perfect, and the girls that expect that he will be are in for a big surprise and awakening someday when they meet him.  He is no more perfect than the Princess herself is perfect. 

 He will say stupid things at times, and he will hurt your feelings at times, and he will make mistakes and fall down and have to get back up while writing his own story – but the man who tries his best every day to be a good person, who will say sorry when he is wrong, who forgives you when you are wrong, who is genuinely committed to doing the right thing in his life and who expects you to do the same – that is a true Prince Charming.  And that is a man to hold onto and appreciate. 

 Did I have to kiss a lot of frogs in my life before I found my own Prince Charming….sure I did (although young ladies reading this I would like you to note that they were indeed frogs who I wish I had never kissed, after all, frogs are icky so who really wants to kiss them?  so I fully recommend waiting to kiss any frogs until after they themselves have turned into a Prince Charming all on their own and without needing your help at all…those are the Princes you want!  So no frog lips ladies!!!). But I am happy to say that nine years ago I married my Prince Charming and he makes me the luckiest girl in the world.

How I love my family and can't wait to see more of them in December.

Love,
mami Vero


Wednesday, September 26, 2018

The Lobster Syndrome

The Lobster Syndrome 

(A classic story post I found in the internet.)

A lobster may have tremendous value at an expensive restaurant, but they have absolutely no value in a work environment.  I have likely lost a few of you with my observation so let me explain exactly what I mean.  If you have ever observed lobsters in a fine restaurant you will find that they are kept in a shallow cage without any lid on the cage, yet you don’t see the lobsters getting out of the cage and running lose in the restaurant…so why not?  The reason why is that when one lobster tries to crawl out of the tank, the other lobsters will grab and pull that lobster right back into the tank with them.  They can’t escape because they consistently pull each other back in.  I don’t know the science behind why the lobsters act this way, but I can tell you that this phenomenon is something that is not always unique to lobsters in a tank…

 There are certain people in this world who are infected with “the lobster syndrome”.  These are the people who cannot stand to see other people do well.  They will pinch, pull, and pry to try and drag anyone else down who appears to be progressing ahead of them. 

What causes lobster syndrome?  From what I have observed it has typically started with someone feeling insecure or inadequate about themselves and it festers and grows from there to jealousy and envy and bitterness.  The more a person becomes unhappy with themselves the more they want others around them to be unhappy too.  Everything becomes a comparison to themselves – if one person accomplishes something good they read it as “I am not capable”, if someone is told they are pretty the insecure person hears “I must be ugly”, and it goes on and on for them.  Rather than recognizing their own unique gifts and talents, they become so focused on wanting the talents that other people have that their own talents never get developed.  And so their behavior ends up perpetuating the growth of their insecurities, and the way they try to combat those is to do everything they can to bring other people down with them.  If they don’t get to be happy then no one else should be allowed to be happy either.  And so the negativity comes and the mean spirited behavior ensues.  Sadly, their doing so won’t lead to helping them feel any better about themselves; in fact it is quite the opposite.  When they are constantly working to pull others down they only succeed in feeling worse and worse about themselves.  It’s like a never ending spiral downward until that person will face their disease and make a conscious decision to break out of this lobster syndrome. 

Many years ago I made the decision that I would keep my life free from people who were affected with the lobster syndrome. As a CEO I have witnessed time and time again how quickly a person with the lobster syndrome will spread their infectious disease to everyone around them, so I understand the danger that they bring into an organization.  It has taught me over the years the importance of protecting the environment you allow into your company.  I believe that companies who do not stay cognizant of the lobster syndrome will find that their business getting pulled down just as quickly as their people are, because at the end of the day a business is a reflection of the people who make up that business.  The majority of the success of my company can be attributed to the quality of the people who work there and the quality of the clients we associate with.  We chose to surround ourselves with people of integrity and values and it was reflected by the success of our business. 

So what can be done if you encounter someone who is infected with the lobster syndrome?  First and foremost be aware of it.  Don’t make excuses for it or try to dismiss it as “no big deal”.  Remember that it is a contagious disease and the more you allow yourself around it the more likely you are to become infected yourself.  If you see someone who is mean spirited, a backbiter, a gossip, or a joy killer, I suggest you point out to them how hurtful their actions are and then choose not to associate with that person any longer until they can get their own life together enough to free themselves from their disease.

 If you want your life to be full of success and joy and happiness then make a conscious decision to surround yourself with successful, joyous, and happy people Life can be a beautiful grand adventure that is full of love and learning and service and joy and success.  The best way to ensure that your life will have those things is to surround yourself with the right kind of people.  Choose your friends wisely.  Choose your business associates wisely.  Keep your standards high and don’t bend them for anyone.  Always stand up for what you believe in, even if you have to stand alone.  Know the kind of person you want to be in life and then be that. Oh, and most important is to avoid Lobsters! 

thought about this story because I have been spending time with Sharon Eubank and she is one good example of someone who is NOT a lobster. She genuinely tries to help other people succeed. Today I was fortunate to get the pearls she wanted for her sister. 

Con amor,
Vero

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Charity

Charity is expecting the best of each other

“If it is our nature to criticize or demean, we can cause the voices of gladness to be silenced. We need those who bring gladness into our lives. We need those who give encouragement and reflect optimism.” – Marvin Ashton

What the world needs more of is people who are encouraging and optimistic. The world has more than enough negative people who are willing to drag others down, belittle others, and tell others that they just can’t do it.

We all need people in our lives who encourage us and who reflect optimism. That’s why it is so important that we are careful to choose to surround ourselves with people who do that! It’s also why it is so important that each of us are careful to be the kind of person who encourages others and reflects optimism ourselves.

Staying optimistic and encouraging is one of those things you have to be constantly mindful of because it is so easy to have your snap reaction be a negative one without even realizing you’re doing it, especially when you may be having a bad day or feeling down yourself. So you have to be careful not to fall in that trap. Figure out some sort of daily reminder system that helps you stay positive and encouraging. Perhaps you find a bracelet with something written on it to keep you positive, or you put a sticker on the dash of your car, or wherever you will be reminded on a regular basis.

 “Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet.  Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped.  Charity is refusing to take advantage of anther’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us.  Charity is expecting the best of each other.”  -Marvin J. Ashton

Life is happier when we are surrounded by optimistic people and when we are optimistic people ourselves. So let’s all just be more optimistic and spread more HAPPY!  

Con amor,
Vero

Monday, September 24, 2018

The parable of the butterfly

Parable of the Butterfly

This story reminded me of a time Elder Neil Andersen came to visit us in the Caribbean and brought with him a butterfly in a jar. He was able to teach us about how careful we need to be with butterflies because they are very fragile.

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further. 

So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. 

The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. 

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.

 What the man, in his kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. 

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. We could never fly!   -author unknown

Con amor,
Vero

Sunday, September 23, 2018

One by one!

Today was my turn to teach the class in Relief Society on the subject of ministering.

Quotes on Ministering for today's lesson:
“Dear brothers and sisters, we constantly seek direction from the Lord on how we can help our members keep the commandments of God, especially those two great commandments to love God and our neighbors.1
For months, we have been seeking a better way to minister to the spiritual and temporal needs of our people in the Savior’s way.
We have made the decision to retire home teaching and visiting teaching as we have known them. Instead, we will implement a newer, holier approach to caring for and ministering to others. We will refer to these efforts simply as “ministering.” President Nelson

Sister Jean Binham explained: “Sometimes we think we have to do something grand and heroic to “count” as serving our neighbors. Yet simple acts of service can have profound effects on others—as well as on ourselves. What did the Savior do? …
He smiled at, talked with, walked with, listened to, made time for, encouraged, taught, fed, and forgave. He served family and friends, neighbors and strangers alike, and He invited acquaintances and loved ones to enjoy the rich blessings of His gospel. Those “simple” acts of service and love provide a template for our ministering today.
As you have the privilege to represent the Savior in your ministering efforts, ask yourself, “How can I share the light of the gospel with this individual or family? What is the Spirit inspiring me to do?” Ministering can be done in a great variety of individualized ways. So what does it look like? Ministering looks like elders quorum and Relief Society presidencies prayerfully counseling about assignments. Rather than leaders just handing out slips of paper, it looks like counseling about the individuals and families in person as assignments are given to ministering brothers and sisters. It looks like going for a walk, getting together for a game night, offering service, or even serving together. It looks like visiting in person or talking on the phone or chatting online or texting. It looks like delivering a birthday card and cheering at a soccer game. It looks like sharing a scripture or quote from a conference talk that would be meaningful to that individual. It looks like discussing a gospel question and sharing testimony to bring clarity and peace. It looks like becoming part of someone’s life and caring about him or her. It also looks like a ministering interview in which needs and strengths are discussed sensitively and appropriately. It looks like the ward council organizing to respond to a larger need.”
“Brothers and sisters, we have a heaven-sent opportunity as an entire Church to demonstrate “pure religion … undefiled before God”8—“to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and to “comfort those that stand in need of comfort,”9 to minister to the widows and the fatherless, the married and the single, the strong and the distraught, the downtrodden and the robust, the happy and the sad—in short, all of us, every one of us, because we all need to feel the warm hand of friendship and hear the firm declaration of faith. However, I warn you, a new name, new flexibility, and fewer reports won’t make an ounce of difference in our service unless we see this as an invitation to care for one another in a bold, new, holier way, as President Nelson has just said…

Brothers and sisters, I join with you in saluting every block teacher and ward teacher and home teacher and visiting teacher who has loved and served so faithfully throughout our history. Our prayer today is that every man and woman—and our older young men and young women—will leave this general conference more deeply committed to heartfelt care for one another, motivated only by the pure love of Christ to do so. In spite of what we all feel are our limitations and inadequacies—and we all have challenges—nevertheless, may we labor side by side with the Lord of the vineyard,13 giving the God and Father of us all a helping hand with His staggering task of answering prayers, providing comfort, drying tears, and strengthening feeble knees.14 If we will do that, we will be more like the true disciples of Christ we are meant to be.” Elder Holland

 What does ministering look like? Do what is needed
(Scripture reference) Mosiah 18:9 

How did the Savior minister to the people?  One by one 
(Scripture references) 
3 Nephi 11:15
3 Nephi 17:21
3 Nephi 18:36
3 Nephi 28:1 
In Closing: 
“This general conference marks the beginning of a new era of ministering. The Lord has made important adjustments in the way we care for each other. Sisters and brothers—old and young—will serve one another in a new, holier way. Elders quorums will be strengthened to bless the lives of men, women, and children throughout the world. Relief Society sisters will continue to minister in their unique and loving way, extending opportunities to younger sisters to join them as appropriately assigned.
Our message to the world is simple and sincere: we invite all of God’s children on both sides of the veil to come unto their Savior, receive the blessings of the holy temple, have enduring joy, and qualify for eternal life.“2 President Nelson 




Saturday, September 22, 2018

The Five hour rule

Bill Gates, Warren Buffett And Oprah All Use The 5-Hour Rule

In the article “Malcolm Gladwell got us wrong”, the researchers behind the 10,000-hour rule set the record straight: different fields require different amounts of deliberate practice in order to become world class.

If 10,000 hours isn’t an absolute rule that applies across fields, what does it really take to become world class in the world of work?

Over the last year, I’ve explored the personal history of many widely-admired business leaders like Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Mark Zuckerberg in order to understand how they apply the principles of deliberate practice.

What I’ve done does not qualify as an academic study, but it does reveal a surprising pattern.
Many of these leaders, despite being extremely busy, set aside at least an hour a day (or five hours a week) over their entire career for activities that could be classified as deliberate practice or learning.

I call this phenomenon the 5-hour rule.
How the best leaders follow the 5-hour rule
For the leaders I tracked, the 5-hour rule often fell into three buckets: reading, reflection, and experimentation.

1. Read
According to an HBR article, “Nike founder Phil Knight so reveres his library that in it you have to take off your shoes and bow.”
Oprah Winfrey credits books with much of her success: “Books were my pass to personal freedom.” She has shared her reading habit with the world via her book club.
These two are not alone. Consider the extreme reading habits of other billionaire entrepreneurs:
            Warren Buffett spends five to six hours per dayreading five newspapers and 500 pages of corporate reports.
            Bill Gates reads 50 books per year.
            Mark Zuckerberg reads at least one book every two weeks.
            Elon Musk grew up reading two books a day, according to his brother.
            Mark Cuban reads more than 3 hours every day.
            Arthur Blank, co-founder of Home Depot, reads two hours a day.
            Billionaire entrepreneur David Rubenstein reads six books a week.
            Dan Gilbert, self-made billionaire and owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers, reads one to two hours a day.
Want to find the time to read? Sign up for the free webinar here.

2. Reflect
Other times, the 5-hour rule takes the form of reflection and thinking time.
AOL CEO Tim Armstrong makes his senior team spend four hours per week just thinking. Jack Dorsey is a serial wanderer. LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner schedules two hours of thinking time per day. Brian Scudamore, the founder of the 250 million-dollar company, O2E Brands, spends 10 hours a week just thinking.
When Reid Hoffman needs help thinking through an idea, he calls one of his pals: Peter Thiel, Max Levchin, or Elon Musk. When billionaire Ray Dalio makes a mistake, he logs it into a system that is public to all employees at his company. Then, he schedules time with his team to find the root cause. Billionaire entrepreneur Sara Blakely is a long-time journaler. In one interview, she shared that she has over 20 notebooks where she logged the terrible things that happened to her and the gifts that have unfolded as a result.
If you want to be in to company of others who reflect on what they’re learning with each other, join this Facebook group.

3. Experiment
Finally, the 5-hour rule takes the form of rapid experimentation.
Throughout his life, Ben Franklin set aside time for experimentation, masterminding with like-minded individuals, and tracking his virtues. Google famously allowed employees to experiment with new projects with 20% of their work time. Facebook encourages experimentation through Hack-A-Months.
The largest example of experimentation might be Thomas Edison. Even though he was a genius, Edison approached new inventions with humility. He would identify every possible solution and then systematically test each one of them. According to one of his biographers, “Although he understood the theories of his day, he found them useless in solving unknown problems.”
He took the approach to such an extreme that his competitor, Nikola Tesla, had this to say about the trial-and-error approach: “If [Edison] had a needle to find in a haystack, he would not stop to reason where it was most likely to be, he would proceed at once with the feverish diligence of the bee to examine straw after straw until he found the object of his search.”

The power of the 5-hour rule: improvement rate
People who apply the 5-hour rule in the world of work have an advantage. The idea of deliberate practice versus just working hard is often confused. Also, most professionals focus on productivity and efficiency, not improvement rate. As a result, just five hours of deliberate learning a week can set you apart.
Billionaire entrepreneur Marc Andreessen poignantly talked about improvement rate in a recent interview. “I think the archetype/myth of the 22-year-old founder has been blown completely out of proportion… I think skill acquisition, literally the acquisition of skills and how to do things, is just dramatically underrated. People are overvaluing the value of just jumping into the deep-end of the pool, because like the reality is that people who jump into the deep end of the pool drown. Like, there’s a reason why there are so many stories about Mark Zuckerberg. There aren’t that many Mark Zuckerbergs. Most of them are still floating face down in the pool. And so, for most of us, it’s a good idea to get skills.”
Later in the interview he adds, “The really great CEOs, if you spend time with them, you would find this to be true of Mark [Zuckerberg] today or of any of the great CEOs of today or the past, they are really encyclopedic of their knowledge of how to run a company, and it’s very hard to just intuit all of that in your early 20s. The path that makes much more sense for most people is to spend 5–10 years getting skills.”
We should look at learning like we look at exercise.
We need to move beyond the cliche, “Life-long learning is good,” and think more deeply about what the minimum amount of learning the average person should do per day in order to have a sustainable and successful career.
Just as we have minimum recommended dosages of vitamins, steps per day, and aerobic exercise for leading a healthy life physically, we should be more rigorous about how we as an information society think about the minimum doses of deliberate learning for leading a healthy life economically.

The long-term effects of NOT learning are just as insidious as the long-term effects of not having a healthy lifestyle. The CEO of AT&T makes this point loud and clear in an interview with the New York Times; he says that those who don’t spend at least 5 to 10 hours a week learning online “will obsolete themselves with technology.”
Interested in applying the 5-hour rule to your life?
Bottom line: the busiest, most successful people in the world find at least an hour to learn EVERYDAY. So can you!

There are just three steps you need to take in order to create your own learning ritual:
            Find the time for reading and learning even if you are really busy and overwhelmed.
            Stay consistent on using that ‘found’ time without procrastinating or falling prey to distraction.
            10x the results you receive from each hour of learning.
Free Webinar On How To Apply The 5-Hour Rule To Your Life
The good news is that you don’t need to recreate the wheel. Over the last three years, I’ve been researching the specific learning habits of top performers and applying what I learn to my life. I spend 2–3 hours per day in deliberate learning in between being a dad, having a daily exercise routine, sleeping eight hours per day, and running a rapidly-growing startup. I can confidently say that my learning ritual has been a key to our company’s success and other major life changes I’ve made.
There was too much information to fit in one article, so I spent dozens of hours and created a free, live masterclass to help you master your learning ritual too!

Good for him! 

Con amor,
Vero


Friday, September 21, 2018

Trials help us grow

Today we took Sharon Eubank to the airport and felt a peace with some of my trials because no one is except from having them. Some women were never blessed to become mothers for example and this thought came to mind. 

 “Have you ever gone through something difficult and that experience allowed you to empathize with friends or even strangers who were facing a similar challenge? Or have you seen others experience sorrow from difficult circumstances and turn their pain into a moving, empowering cause? The trials we face allow us to develop compassion for others and can inspire us to make a difference in the world, in big and small ways. They enable us to truly be “willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” (Mosiah 18:8)

….Trials can open our eyes to those who are suffering. They can enable us to show others genuine compassion and love. They can refine us to be more charitable, empathetic, and influential humans. They can instill in us a powerful need to serve….Take a moment to think about what you’ve learned because of bad things that have happened. There’s no doubt you will recognize those moments when you were able to sincerely understand someone else’s sorrow because of something you once faced” – Chakell Wardleigh

As much as we would all like to avoid life’s painful trials, there is much to be said for the value of being able to notice when someone is suffering because you recognize the hurt in their eyes because you have seen it before reflected in your own during past struggles…there is a deep compassion you can provide someone who is suffering when you yourself have suffered through similar things…there is great comfort in being able to give genuine comfort to someone because your heart has been where there heart is and they know you understand their pains…and knowing that your trials may help benefit another is healing…

Be strong in your trials as someday they will allow you to help someone else. That is what I hope I can do for anyone going through a painful divorce and keep my chin up. I need to count my many blessings even in circumstances when I might be scared or feel sad. 

Con amor,
Vero