What a man wants

I am re posting a 60 year old article since my husband turned 60 this year and anything I find written that year amazes me how times have changed!

Extract from Housekeeping Monthly, 1955.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him.  His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare a light fire for him to unwind by.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.  After all, catering for his comfort will give you immense personal satisfaction.
• Prepare the children.  Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.  Minimize all noise.  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember his topics of conversation are more important that yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal:  Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where you husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
• Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
• Make him comfortable.  Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

Even though the article is a bit ridiculous for todays time, I must say that there is a little truth to what it says. If you think about what a man wants, he really does not ask for very much. A study was done where it was concluded that all a guy wants is one thing, and one thing only. You guessed it but besides sex he also wants: A beautiful wife, a cook and a housekeeper all in one. Still after 60 years this still holds true.

 

Marbella

Well today we took Analia and Spencer to the airport. They came to visit for the weekend. Last December we bought tickets for them to go to Uruguay to visit Daniel's mom but unfortunately it was not possible and that is why they ended up with a credit close to $3,500 for both. I made it very clear that they needed to find a way to use this credit. I didn't was it to go to waste.


This was money we had borrowed because we didn't even have the cash at the time but Ani insisted so much that we gave in. At times I feel like we always teach our children to be self reliant but we do the opposite by providing for things like this. They are the only ones who can use this credit and that is how they came to see us. It was during Easter so all the resorts were sold out. We tried Dreams and it would have been about $130 per person for each x 4 per night so we decided it would be best to go to Marbella. The condo rented for $215 a night and you can only book two nights at a time so that is what we ended up doing. We pay for two nights plus eating out where we only needed to stay for one night so it would have been better off if we had gone to Dreams but oh well. Marbella is a good setting when you have a baby. The place is beautiful and very relaxing and probably our favorite so far. We haven't gone to Las terrenas or Puerto Plata so we might do that next.

The case is over

The cluster meeting was wonderful but ironically of all the things that happened there, the one thing I will always remember is the phone call we received from our lawyer letting us know that the Rattos which I think of them more of "ratas" had come to an agreement and they had settled the case. I am posting another post I saw which explains better my felling today.

"All of us have been hurt before.  All of us have experienced being let down and disappointed.  We have all had someone we love betray us, some of us in major ways and some of us in smaller ways, but we have all been through the experience of being hurt by someone we care about.

On the flip side of that I am quite confident that all of us have also played the hurting and disappointing and betraying role at some point in our lives. I have yet to meet a perfect human being during my life, so I have no problem stating that we have all made mistakes.

So how do we handle it when someone hurts us?  Are we the person who holds onto that hurt and becomes bitter and resentful?  Or are we the person who can forgive and move on?  While you are considering the answer to that question let me have you step back and think about a few things:

Have you ever seen someone who holds on to a hurt and refuses to let it go?  It is one of the saddest things to observe because you can literally witness a person move slowly down a dark hole of anger and bitterness as more time goes on where they couldn’t just let it go.  They are angry and hurt and all they can focus on is themselves and how wronged they have been.  All they want is for the other person to pay for hurting them, or for the other person to be hurt just as badly, as if that will somehow help to rectify the wrong done to them.

You have to stop and ask yourself, who is really hurt worse here?  The person who committed the wrong act?  Or the person who can’t forgive them and let it go?

It is so easy for people to get caught up in the “that person wronged me and they haven’t fixed it so I don’t have to forgive them” or the “they haven’t said sorry to me so I don’t have to get over it” syndrome.   But when we get caught up in that mentality we are forgetting the most important thing of all, which is that we need to forgive people for OUR OWN SAKE!  Not for the other person’s sake.  It is us that needs the ability to forgive and let go so that we don’t get trapped into that downward spiral of bitterness and anger that we will carry around every day of our lives until we come to the point that we are able to forgive and let go.   When we are in that state of holding on to our anger we end up hurting every other healthy relationship around us because we are distracted and angry that pushes others away.  It also causes us to miss out on all the good that happens around us because we are too busy wallowing in our own self-pity.

“Refusing to forgive is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.”  -unknown

Here are the facts:  People are going to disappoint you.  People are going to make mistakes.  People are going hurt you.  People are going to do dumb things.  Why?  Because they are human and we all make mistakes.  Hopefully we don’t make horrible mistakes that are hard to fix, but inevitably we are all going to make mistakes and there will be times when all of us will be asking someone else for forgiveness, hoping they will be kind enough to grant it to us.

I have been through experiences in my own life where I have been hurt deeply.  By friends, by family, by coworkers, by a loved one.  I have been through times in my life where I was the person to hold on to those hurts and have them fester inside, and I have been through times where I have made the choice to forgive those hurts and move forward with truly letting them go.  There should be no surprise to hear that the lesson I learned was that I am a happier and stronger person when I have the ability to forgive and let go.  Not only am I stronger and happier but I am also at peace and the ability to be at peace is a genuine blessing in life.  I learned that letting go is for my benefit, not for the benefit of the other person.   I also realized that forgiving didn’t mean I had to stay around the person that wronged me.  You can forgive someone and be wise enough to steer clear of them in the future.  That applies often times to situations where someone has been abused.  They still need to forgive their abuser for what they have done to them so that they themselves can move forward in their own life, but they certainly don’t have to allow that abuser to be part of their life going forward.  You can forgive someone without allowing them to be a part of your life.  They are two different things.  Forgiveness is about letting go of your anger or hurt caused by another person.  It’s about deciding that you are not going to try and judge the other person because you don’t know everything that has gone on in their life to cause them to act the way they have acted and you don’t understand what their motivation or intention was because you are not inside of their head.  It’s about realizing that it’s really up to God to judge that person, not you, and all you can control is how you will handle yourself.  You have to truly let go of trying to do God’s job of judging them and worry more about how God will judge you for how you have behaved, cause that is the part that you can control.

Forgiving and letting go is one of the best ways to bring happiness and peace into your life.  It builds character to learn how to truly let go.  It will teach you compassion and empathy for others which will also give you more peace.  Is it hard to do? Sometimes.  But is it worth it to do?  Always.

 “Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Today’s challenge is to consider anything you are holding onto in your life that you need to forgive and let go, and then choose to do that!   Then enjoy the peace that comes into your life because you will have earned it!" I am very far from reaching this point since I feel they really took advantage of us and the Insurance company. Someone told me once, mark my words, that money will destroy them." I only hope I don't get sued again. What we went trough the past three years since this incident happened has been unreal.

 

 

Cluster Meeting in Cusco

The cluster meeting this year was in Cusco Peru from March 20th to 25th. The whole meeting had one theme: Self Reliance. It is not only for temporal things but even spiritual. How can someone help the poor which is what the Church main role is, if the members are not self reliant. A scripture found on 2 Nefi 2: 26 clearly states " ...to act for themselves and not to be acted upon..." Self reliance is a doctrine not just a temporal solution. Education is important. law of tithing, prayer, reading the scriptures and service. Scriptures we studied: D & C 104; 17-18 and it was well understood how important it is to be self reliant.


On Sunday we went to Church to listen to Elder Causeé speak. He talked about the family, he said that there are three things in the Church to help the family #1 The Priesthood, when someone from anther faith asked his why do you need so many Priests when in his Church you only need one, he said, because we need them in every home. #2 help you children fast and take that money to donate to help the poor. #3 take your family to the temple and let that be your goal as a family. He said that as parents we want our children to be happy and we must teach the gospel in our homes, they will be exposed to false doctrine outside of our home but we need to teach them what is truth.


 Let the children not be dependent on parents or the government. Let's not create a society of dependency, we should only be dependent of our faith. In the afternoon the women got together to share experiences of a time when we felt the light. We went around the room sharing and I shared the feeling I felt in the temple. I also handed them the dolls and explained why they don't have faces. I was asked to lead because people take for granted that we all know how to lead and I did my best even though I don't know how to carry a tune so that is something I will learn for sure.


On Monday we went to Machu- Pichu for this trip we were given a hat, a bag with water and goodies in it, a poncho and a cane. I didn't know whey we were given a cane but as I started climbing the ruin I understood why we were given the cane. It takes all day to go to Machu-Pichu about 30 minutes where you take the train, an hour and a half ride on the train and another half hour on a bus. The little town below had the visit of the German President, I learned that the President is a man and he is like some honorary figure but the Prime Minister is a woman and she is the one in command. We also visited two other places and a gift shop market. I loved this trip. I brought me so many nice memories of a time I visited my aunt Norma and family 1n 1998.

Remember who you are and what you stand for

I am very excited about giving my niece Paola a scrapbook with little sayings and notes. This post fro Amy Anderson's blog contains the underline theme of my scrapbook so I felt it would be fitting that I share it here too.

"All through my growing up years as I would run out the door of our home, my mother would yell the phrase “Remember who you are and what you stand for”.  I would guess I have heard that phrase literally thousands of times as a child.  Most days she said it I would roll my eyes like a typical teenager, but now that I am an adult I have truly come to appreciate the import of that one little phrase, “Remember who you are and what you stand for.”  Today is my last official day as the CEO of MediConnect Global... I can’t think of any better phrase to leave them with as I am walking the door than the one my mother always said to me:

“Remember who you are and what you stand for.”

Anytime there are significant changes occurring in a company, like being acquired and changes amongst leadership teams, there is the potential for the corporate culture to be impacted.  My challenge and request to my entire team at MediConnect is to not let their corporate culture change.  Remember the values that made us the amazing company that we have become today:

• Integrity (honesty at all times and in all places- do what is right, let the consequence follow, no exceptions)
• Respect (to everyone, everywhere, without exception)
• Positive and Optimistic Attitude (be happy, be nice, and for heaven’s sake SMILE!)
• Dependable / Trustworthy  (do what you say, live what you believe)
• Flexible / Adaptable to Change   (embrace the challenges, overcome your fears)
• Open to & Implement Feedback
• Going the Extra Mile (for coworkers, for clients, for shareholders)
• High Performance / High Production (give 100% everyday)
• Knowledgeable (know the company, know the industry, know the client, know your importance to the success of the organization)

Those values, while they may seem so simple, are far too often not followed by other companies.  But with MediConnect we haven’t just followed them, we have lived them.  They are part of our very core.  And as each of us have seen the benefits that our culture brings to our people, our clients, our families, and ourselves, by living these values, we have become incredibly protective of making sure that nothing will take away from our culture, and that no one will try and damage it.  Being able to come to work every day to an office where there were no politics and undercutting of people trying to get ahead of each other, where there wasn’t the gossip or backbiting or being disrespectful to one another, where there was a genuine feeling of support and love and a group of coworkers and leaders who truly wanted to see each other succeed – that is a tremendous blessing, and that is a culture that brings out the very best in people. That kind of a culture allows you to become the very best self that you can possibly be and it allows companies to thrive and flourish.  It is amazing to be a part of that kind of culture.

And so as this will be a time of change for MediConnect, I am challenging each of the employees to please “Remember who you are and what you stand for.”  Protect your culture.  Don’t ever forget that those values are what make you so successful.  Those values are what make you better people, both in your careers, in your family lives, and in society as a whole.  If there are those who come in that don’t uphold the culture, you let them know why that is not okay and why you personally won’t allow them to drag you down.  Share with them the importance of living those values from your own experience.  The culture can only change if you allow it to.  You have the power to uphold it, especially when you stand together.    Remember that a rising tide lifts all boats.  You are that rising tide and as you uphold your values and stand up for what is right you can be the examples that will teach others how to rise to your level.  Don’t ever let yourself get sucked down into things that aren’t right or would cause you to go against your values, instead, you be the force that lifts all others up to where you stand today.  You stand as the very best company to work for in MediConnect.  Stay there.  Stand firm.  Uphold the values.  Always.

I love you so very much.  I am so incredibly proud of all of you.  Finally, I trust each of you to remember who you are and what you stand for, at all times, in all places.  Remember, you are my legacy…"

MCG FOREVER!

Always,

Amy

 My niece Paola deserves to know of these values as she moves away to college. Amy Anderson is probably the best role model for young women in the world.  

Family History class

Yesterday I got to teach Family History class  because sister Martinez was busy with a devotional so I got lucky to have Roxana Merejo come to the rescue. She was so nice to not only come to teach the class but to take me there. I was terrified just to think of driving there at a busy time. I don't know why I hate driving in the DR but I do! What was so funny is that the internet didn't work all that well so the class was not as exciting as I thought it was going to be. I had the students take the last half hour to get to a computer and start with family Search. It all worked out just fine and for this tender mercy I am so grateful.

 
I called my mom to get names and this is what I found out: Aminta Barrera Somoza was my paternal grandmother married to Francisco Alberto Flores, my grandfather.  They had four children: Luis Alberto, Manuel Antonio, Francisco Tomas, y Hilda Enma. the last child and only daughter. I remember them as a  typical dysfunctional family of El Salvador. The men had many children out of wed lock and the women were very dependent. Enma in particular was dependent on alcohol and died from drinking too much. Sad!


 A woman by the name of Aida Caseres has been doing a lot of family search who my mom is going to contact when she goes home. Antonia was Francisco's mother, my father's grandmother.  On my maternal side Pedro and Paula had the following children: Carlos, Miguel Angel, Gilberto, Aparicio, Ramon y Vilma. After having all boys Mamá Paula tried one more time and had Vilma at age 50. My aunt Norma has also been doing a lot of work and will send me what she has. My trip to El Salvador this year will include the places where all these people are buried.

Irish luck

To honor an Irish tradition and thinking of Gabriel and Danae who live in Ireland  this is what I want to share from a blog post a saw a few years ago that caught my attention but I also want to include  the significance of the three leaf clover because as I was told by a Catholic friend, this is how they explain the concept of trilogy: The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost.  

"Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  and don’t forget to wear green!  Tradition has it that a four leaf clover is the universal symbol for good luck which offers magical protection and wards off bad luck.  Some even believe that when holding a four leaf clover you are able to see magical fairies.   And who wouldn’t love that?!?  Each of the four leaves of the clover represents a different element:  one leaf is for faith, one is for hope, one is for love, one is for luck.

Everybody wants a bit of luck in their lives because many believe that its luck that leads us to those serendipitous moments where a “happy accident” leads us to a happy or even life changing event.

So if we can’t find a four leaf clover, than what can we do to bring good luck and serendipity into our lives?

University in College in London decided to do an experiment to determine if there were patterns to people’s serendipitous experiences. They asked people to submit their own stories to www.serendipitystories.net.   They called the project SerenA and what they found through their study is that their serendipity is far more than an accident. 

‘By looking for patterns, we’ve found that serendipity is more than an accident,’ says Dr Stephann Makri, who is working on the project. ‘While none of the people we interviewed engineered the opportunities that came their way, they all had two things in common.

‘First, they realized that an opportunity was being presented to them. Then, they seized the opportunity and took action.

‘When it comes to experiences such as walking down the road and bumping into someone you haven’t seen in years, who goes on to offer you a job or introduce you to the love of your life, several things need to happen.

‘First, you need to notice the old friend. Then you need to stop and talk to them, even though you might be busy or running late. Finally, you need to follow up on whatever might come out of that conversation.’

They concluded in the study that Serendipity requires three things:

• an element of luck that is out of your control
• having the wisdom to spot the opportunity, and
• acting on the opportunity.

While I thoroughly enjoyed reading about this study, my personal belief on Serendipity is slightly different from theirs, perhaps because of my personal religious beliefs.  I too believe that Serendipity requires three things, but I would explain them a little differently:

• living your life in such a way that you are trying to do the right things, which will place you in the right place, at the right time, for God to bring opportunities into your life
• having the wisdom to always be listening for the Spirit’s guidance so you will notice these opportunities,
• having the faith to be courageous enough to act on these opportunities, trusting that if you do your best, God will make sure the outcome will be whatever He knows is the best thing for you.

I don’t think serendipitous events happen by accident.  No not at all.  I think they happen by divine intervention when we are trying our best to do what’s right.  I can tell you that in my own life I have always found that when I am living my life in accordance with the values I believe in that:

• I have so much more confidence each day.  I am happier.  I am more relaxed.  I am more excited about the future. 
• I am more aware and open to noticing new opportunities around me because I know that God will direct me to the people and the places and the opportunities that he knows will make me into the very best person I can be. 
• I am less afraid of failure because I know that as long as I try my very best, even if it appears to be a failure, that God will still be happy with me for trying and if I learned from it and grew from it then it wasn’t a failure in His eyes. 
• I pay more attention to everyone around me so I won’t miss someone that God intended me to meet.  I am also more mindful of others and I am more willing to serve others when I see them in need.  Again, knowing that God might have placed them in my path so that I could help them, or so that they could teach me. 

Each of these things lead to those serendipitous events in my life which continue to introduce me to experiences that teach me the greatest lessons, bring about the greatest joys, and cause me to feel the greatest happiness.

Faith, Hope, Love and Luck –  That is the meaning of each of the four leaves of the lucky four leaf clover, and those are the same four things that have led to the good luck in my life.  Faith is first for me without question. That faith gives me tremendous hope.  My love for God is what grows my faith and helps me believe during tough times.  And together those things bring me good luck and happiness. 

Happy St. Patrick’s Day everyone!  May your day be filled with faith, hope, love, and luck…and even a few magical fairies." Amy

 

Monday message

What I am about to share with you out there is very dear to my heart. As you know we had the visit of elder Holland and elder Clayton last week. Elder Holland came alone, his wife is ill but he still came but it is not the same for him without this sweetheart. He is a true disciple of Christ who feels at times tired and overwhelmed at the huge load he carries. The heavy load of all the burdens of this world. He does not only preside over the members of the whole Church but of people all over the world the same way it was at the time of Christ. Think of the apostles: Peter, James, John, Thomas, Luke, etc. The same thing is today.

The meetings were amazing and very special to me. I was very touched by the love they shared with all the members (Saints) here and what I will never forget was when elder Holland hugged me and smiled at me and Daniel and even said to both of us: “Los amo”. He truly loves people around him. We got to sit with him at the same table to have dinner where he was asked to say the blessing on the food. What an incredible prayer! His prayers are not repetitive chants we sometimes tend to do. His prayers are sincere and from the heart and he talks to our Heavenly Father as if he is having a conversation with him and really knows him. He is an example of what it would be like to know up close and personal our Father in Heaven and His son. It was glorious! The next day he came to speak to the people who work at the office and everyone got to shake his hand. Later he spoke to the missionaries and the youth, he had a few things to share while we were at some of the meetings and what I wrote down I am passing on to you.

#1 to seek what is truth because there is absolute truth.  No matter what you have been told, don’t do anything on borrowed light, find your own light. It is up to you to find out for yourself what is truth which the Holy Ghost will testify to you as you read the scriptures.  Example: There is a Father in Heaven and Jesus is His son… Acts: 7:55-56 Hebrew: 1: 1-6 and what he said over and over again in Spanish in all the meeting was “Dios vive” Maybe this is not any news to anyone but it felt powerful to hear him say “God Lives” and His son is at the head of His Church. It’s good to know of who is in charge.

#2 Think of what Christ would want you to do, what is your mission, how can you show your love for him? Feed my sheep!  I hope as we approach Easter we ponder on His great sacrifice for us and truly become His disciples.

The last meeting we had on Saturday was to clearly understand the purpose of our mission because we have at least been given a calling in Church for starters, whether is teaching in Sunday school, Primary, Relief Society, young men, young women, etc. the purpose of teaching those classes or to be leaders doing one calling or another is to bring souls to Christ. That is the job missionaries do, and that is all what we as leaders and teachers should focus on when we teach our students and last but not least, make sure that our homes especially our homes is where most of the teaching gets done. Be an example, be the light and be true to our calling!

Yesterday after five busy days they went home. It was awesome for me and Daniel to have witness those incredible and spiritual meetings with elder Holland and for this today I am very grateful.

 

 

 

Stay away from lobters

I was talking to my sister the other day and she told me how she has found out how some people from Church are talking about her on her back. They gossip and it hurt her feelings. I told her to not pay attention to people like that because they obviously don't know  her so here is a post from my favorite blogger who writes to her employees but the same can be said for so called friends.

"A lobster may have tremendous value at an expensive restaurant, but they have absolutely no value in a work environment… If you have ever observed lobsters in a fine restaurant you will find that they are kept in a shallow cage without any lid on the cage, yet you don’t see the lobsters getting out of the cage and running lose in the restaurant…so why not?  The reason why is that when one lobster tries to crawl out of the tank, the other lobsters will grab and pull that lobster right back into the tank with them.  They can’t escape because they consistently pull each other back in.  I don’t know the science behind why the lobsters act this way, but I can tell you that this phenomenon is something that is not always unique to lobsters in a tank…

There are certain people in this world who are infected with “the lobster syndrome”.  These are the people who cannot stand to see other people do well.  They will pinch, pull, and pry to try and drag anyone else down who appears to be progressing ahead of them.

What causes lobster syndrome?  From what I have observed it has typically started with someone feeling insecure or inadequate about themselves and it festers and grows from there to jealousy and envy and bitterness.  The more a person becomes unhappy with themselves the more they want others around them to be unhappy too.  Everything becomes a comparison to themselves – if one person accomplishes something good they read it as “I am not capable”, if someone is told they are pretty the insecure person hears “I must be ugly”, and it goes on and on for them.  Rather than recognizing their own unique gifts and talents, they become so focused on wanting the talents that other people have that their own talents never get developed.  And so their behavior ends up perpetuating the growth of their insecurities, and the way they try to combat those is to do everything they can to bring other people down with them.  If they don’t get to be happy then no one else should be allowed to be happy either.  And so the negativity comes and the mean spirited behavior ensues.  Sadly, their doing so won’t lead to helping them feel any better about themselves; in fact it is quite the opposite.  When they are constantly working to pull others down they only succeed in feeling worse and worse about themselves.  It’s like a never ending spiral downward until that person will face their disease and make a conscious decision to break out of this lobster syndrome.

Many years ago I made the decision that I would keep my life free from people who were affected with the lobster syndrome... I have witnessed time and time again how quickly a person with the lobster syndrome will spread their infectious disease to everyone around them, so I understand the danger that they bring into an organization.  It has taught me over the years the importance of protecting the environment you allow into your company.  I believe that companies who do not stay cognizant of the lobster syndrome will find that their business getting pulled down just as quickly as their people are, because at the end of the day a business is a reflection of the people who make up that business.  The majority of the success of my company can be attributed to the quality of the people who work there and the quality of the clients we associate with.  We chose to surround ourselves with people of integrity and values and it was reflected by the success of our business.

So what can be done if you encounter someone who is infected with the lobster syndrome?  First and foremost be aware of it.  Don’t make excuses for it or try to dismiss it as “no big deal”.  Remember that it is a contagious disease and the more you allow yourself around it the more likely you are to become infected yourself.  If you see someone who is mean spirited, a backbiter, a gossip, or a joy killer, I suggest you point out to them how hurtful their actions are and then choose not to associate with that person any longer until they can get their own life together enough to free themselves from their disease.

If you want your life to be full of success and joy and happiness then make a conscious decision to surround yourself with successful, joyous, and happy people Life can be a beautiful grand adventure that is full of love and learning and service and joy and success.  The best way to ensure that your life will have those things is to surround yourself with the right kind of people.  Choose your friends wisely.  Choose your business associates wisely.  Keep your standards high and don’t bend them for anyone.  Always stand up for what you believe in, even if you have to stand alone.  Know the kind of person you want to be in life and then be that.

Oh, and most important:  AVOID LOBSTERS!"

A rainy day on a beautiful Saturday

Today out of the blue it started to rain on a day that we would have a special meeting with elder and sister Clayton and elder Holland so as we found ourselves under umbrellas this quote came to mind:

“How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?”

That quote comes from a talk given by President Uchtdorf. Here are a few excerpts from the talk:

“Over the years, I have had the sacred opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very depths of their soul…Often their grief is caused by what seems to them as an ending. Some are facing the end of a cherished relationship, such as the death of a loved one or estrangement from a family member. Others feel they are facing the end of hope—the hope of being married or bearing children or overcoming an illness. Others may be facing the end of their faith, as confusing and conflicting voices in the world tempt them to question, even abandon, what they once knew to be true.

Sooner or later, I believe that all of us experience times when the very fabric of our world tears at the seams, leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift.

It can happen to anyone. No one is immune.

Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something that would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful!

It might sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding…

But some might say, “What do I have to be grateful for when my world is falling apart?”

Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. True, it is important to frequently “count our blessings”—and anyone who has tried this knows there are many—but I don’t believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease…

It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?

Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be…

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer…

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?”

Now can you see why I LOVE this talk?!  It is such a great reminder to me to be grateful during the journey, through both the ups and the downs.  I need talks like this to set my head straight sometimes. I tend to be the person so focused on the outcome itself that I forget to feel grateful during the journey and these type of talks really help to pull me back to center and make me keep things in better perspective.  I love his reminder that we can always find something to be grateful for, even when times are tough or things are going as we think they should.  I know in my life that when things have gone wrong and I haven’t understood it at the time – inevitably when I look back at those times they ended up leading my life to somewhere so much better than I could ever have imagined that they would. And because of that I have learned to trust that even if it’s not going my way, it is usually because God has a much better route for me to take then the one I was planning on.. This is what I shared with sister Clayton since she new Daniel from his previous marriage. My life today is exactly the way it is spelled in my patriarchal blessing I explained to her and I would have never trade for anything.  

 

The old historic town

Today we went on a tour to the historic town in Santo Domingo with elder Holland, Clayton, Martinez, Zivic and Cornish who was our guide. The Dominican Republic has so much History. Christopher Columbus came here four times. The first University was established in the western hemisphere, the first Cathedral too and anything you can think of was done here first for others to follow.


 Daniel and I have lived here now for five years but this is the first time Daniel got to visit this amazing place because he has been too busy at work  so when we look back at our life, what will we wish we had done? It’s a questions we have all probably heard being posed before but when is the last time you actually stopped and tried to think about what your own answer would be.

Will we wish we had worked more hours each week at the office or will we wish we had taken more time to go and do fun things with our family?  Will we wish we had worked harder on improving our marriage? Will we wish we had done more with our friends? Will we wish we had taken more risks? Will we wish we had tried more things?…. What will you wish you had done?

I think it is a really healthy exercise to go through asking yourself that question now while you still have time to make changes in your life so that someday, when you truly are on your deathbed, you can look back with less regrets on your life.  In fact, I think it is something to revisit at least once each year, if not more, to make sure you are evaluating your life on a regular basis.

I know for Daniel it is the constant worry about work even when he is not in a situation where he actually have to in order to support the family anymore. We are empty nesters but he actually enjoy working and I enjoys accomplishing things, but I need to help him get out of his working too much mode to avoid  that not giving enough of my time to himself, family and friends because I truly don’t want him to get to his deathbed only to regret that he didn’t give his loved ones the proper time and attention. I am home alone a lot and sometimes it would be nice to have him around more.

For me I get sucked into worrying about some things that either I can’t change or that just don’t matter in the big scheme of things. I find that sometimes I can get sucked into wasting emotional energy by worrying about things that are out of my control, so I have to constantly police myself to remember that I don’t want to look back and regret all the time I wasted worrying rather than enjoying every minute of every day.

We all have things that if let unmonitored can easily become bad habits that we will someday regret. So my challenge to everyone today is to take the time to ask yourself what you will wish you had or hadn’t done as you look back at your life from your deathbed someday. Then write them down and commit to working on changing them now while you have been given the gift of life to do so.

 

Grateful for elder Holland

 We sat for dinner this evening with elder Holland and elder and sister Clayton at elder Cornishes home. Elder and sister Zivic, elder and sister Martinez and the Wittakers were there too. What an amazing day this was and one I would always remember and be grateful for. Elder Holland blessed the food and said the most incredible amazing prayer. How neat is that! My heart is full of gratitude and hope to be of good cheer anytime I feel sad or upset at something.  I read somewhere someone who said: "Gratitude is an amazing thing. Gratitude can turn any negative into a positive. The fastest way to FEEL happy is to BE THANKFUL. Taking a moment to consider all the blessings that are in your life can  help tremendously to put everything into proper perspective; and it is proper perspective that will help you thorough the toughest trials and challenges in life. It is easy to get busy with things that we forget to take time to be thankful." The next article is one that has helped me feel inspired to be grateful and one worth sharing.

 Things You Can Do To Help You Be More Thankful

Relax.  It’s hard to cultivate a sense of gratitude when you’re angry, frustrated, or anxious. If these are issues that you struggle with, it’s important to resolve them, as they’re formidable barriers to thankfulness.

Live in the moment.  If you’re too busy dwelling on the past or thinking about the future, you won’t be able to fully notice how fantastic things are right now. Plus, thinking about the past and future opens the door to comparison, which is the only way you can perceive something as not good enough. What you have now is all that exists, and comparing that to something that doesn’t exist anymore (or yet) is an easy way to foster dissatisfaction and torture yourself. Like the old saying goes “Past is History, Future is a Mystery and Today is Gift and hence it is called the Present”. Enjoy today, this moment and don’t postpone your enjoyment.

Start with your senses. The most basic pleasures in life are usually accessible to us all the time, but they slip out of our consciousness because we get so used to them. Learn to notice the little things, and deliberately appreciate them:

Look around. Notice beautiful shapes, colors, and details. Notice things you normally take for granted, like sunlight reflecting off someone’s hair. Think of all the little things you’d miss if you were blind. It’s often the most minute joys that are missed the most.

Smell the roses. And the food. And the air. Recognize the smells that make you feel good: a freshly cut lawn, the air right after it rains, a fresh pot of hot chocolate.

Savor your food. Eat slowly. Don’t just gobble and chug. Identify flavors. Appreciate how they intermingle. Take notes from wine enthusiasts; they know how to enjoy the subtlest of flavors.

Appreciate the sense of touch. How do leaves, blankets, lotions feel against your skin? How many times during the day do people touch you affectionately, and you barely notice?

Listen to more than music. Listen when you think it’s quiet, and you’ll discover it’s not really all that quiet. You might hear the wind, leaves rustling, kids laughing

Cherish any kind of lightheartedness in your life. Things like laughter, affection, and playfulness are fleeting. Once a relationship has degraded so that those things don’t spontaneously occur anymore, it’s very hard to get them back. You might know that from experience. So treat those moments with care (especially with kids, who are at the peak of lightheartedness). Don’t be the person who takes life too seriously, who doesn’t have time to have fun, or who has no sense of humor.

Keep a gratitude journal. Challenge yourself to write down five new things every day that you’re grateful for. It’ll be easy in the beginning, but soon you’ll discover that you have to increase your awareness to keep on.

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BE THANKFUL   -By Author Unknown

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire.

If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something,

for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.

During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,

because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,

because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary,

because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,

and they can become your blessings.