Going back to 1999

Amazing to think that today is the last day of the month. Going back to the end of a decade, in 1999, before the Y2K I was 39 and a poem came out that I thought was cute, but not especially meaningful. Later they even made the poem into a song.  As I read that same poem today, I find it extremely meaningful and I can’t help but get choked up by it because that time in my life was the best!  Oh how time changes us!  I hope all of you enjoy the poem as much as I do now:

Wear Sunscreen  -by Mary Schmich

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

—

It’s amazing how true so many things in this poem turn out to be as we get older in life. I do remember this song so vividly as my girls were all at home. A time in my life so far and gone that is completely forgotten but today it was a good reminder of wearing sunscreen. 

Con amor,

Vero

My partner, my best friend

A scripture and a message: “A real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 

What is a friend? 

Someone to be there? Acquaintances, even close friends and family members will walk with you awhile along life’s road and then depart but a real friend “sticks closer than a brother.” In your spouse, Heavenly Father has blessed you with a friend for life, a traveling companion who will share both panoramic views and difficult terrain and one day celebrate with you the journey’s end. 

Someone to offer a hand? Ecclesiastes 4:30 says, “If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.” Your truest friend is the one who offers his or her assistance when you stumble into the roadside ditch. A loving spouse will pull you up, affirms your worth, and encourage you to strive ahead.

Someone to talk to? “The pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.” (Proverbs 27:9.) Your best friend is the one you want to be with most, the one you chose to talk to first whether the road is smooth or rough, the one with whom you want to share your thoughts and feelings. The one whose opinion and advice you seek. 

A best friend is all of the above. But mostly, according to Proverbs 17:17, it is someone who cares deeply: ‘A friend loves at all times” May your best friend always be your spouse. 

Con amor,

Vero

Elder Rasband Devotional

Last Tuesday Eder Rasband gave a devotional at the office. Daniel and I were outside to wait for him as he came down the elevators joined by the area Presidency and their wives.

In my mind, I thought I was going to escort the women to their seats but Elder Rasband proceeded with his wife Melanie to enter the room full of people waiting for him to come in. He was followed by Elder Bowen and his wife, Elder Haynie and his wife, Elder Shmutz and his wife and then us. This is the protocol of lining up in order of seniority with your spouses. The Church is all about order even when you enter a room.

The choir started their prelude music and Daniel got up to welcome everyone and spelled out the program from first prayer to the last prayer and sat down but right before Sister Rasband was to start her talk, Elder Rasband felt impressed to ask Daniel to share his testimony. This came to a big surprise for Daniel because it wasn’t discussed beforehand but Daniel did a great job. He told of his experience with Elder Dickson who said: “Daniel, I have decided to devote my life to the Church, whether he takes me in a minute or for years to come.” Daniel was touched and went to his office and prayed so he would do the same thing. I had heard that story many times but for some reason when he repeated it again this time, my heart was beating fast I felt so proud of Daniel. Late on, Elder Rasband told the employees. “Daniel is a veteran and has worked as a D.T.A. in many areas around the world. I met him in the Dominican Republic and what I like about Daniel is that he is a humble man. “

Sister Rasband spoke of gratitude, covenants we make in the temple and eternal life. She recited a poem on serving others that she has memorized and has promised to send it to the employees who have requested it. The poem and story will go on my poem file I am keeping. Every time I come across a poem, I keep it so one day I will write about them and how they have influenced my life.

Elder Rasband quoted Elder Faust who was his Stake President and talked about the special moment that occurred when they were setting apart President Nelson. He said he has known President Nelson and he knew the Lord had preserved his life so he could lead us today but he felt a confirmation of the spirit as they were in a circle setting him apart as the new Prophet. He described it as a rush of the spirit from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. That was his witness that Elder Nelson is God’s Prophet for today. He asked for all of us to also seek the spirit to confirm us of the same truth. It is important that we each have that understanding. He said.

He told us of the time he was at a Cathedral in Manila and learned from the tour guide that the Spaniards brought Christ to the Philippines and the Americans brought freedom of religion. He had an “epiphany” moment when the tour guide said that because he understood the role of this country in all of Asia. The Filipino people he said, play an important role in Asia to take the gospel to the rest of the countries of Asia and he can foresee many missionaries been called to serve Asia. As employees, he said, we need to be customer oriented and the customers are the members. He read 1 Corinthians 1:10 to explain how as an office we need to be united in what we do for the Lord’s Church. He read Mosiah 18:21 and warned us to be careful with contention. That contention is a tool the devil uses therefore we need to be united.

 He also read D& C 29:34 and touched on the fact that all things are both spiritual and temporal. We were spiritual before we were temporal. To build multigenerational families in the Church. He asked who in the room were first, second and third generation of members. He is the sixth generation and not one single person in six generations has left the Church. His great-great grandparents were baptized and were asked to move to Utah from Europe. “Where is Utah they asked? But they had so much faith that they left everything to move to Utah. The reason why they had to move was because a temple in Salt Lake was being built and they needed to be close to a temple.

 They would have never dreamed that one day one of their grandsons would be a member of the quorum of the twelve Apostles of the Lord. “We don’t need to move to Zion anymore because Zion is where we are.   We need to be close to where there is a temple and the Filipinos have two temples and two are in the process of being built.

 He was going to do a question and answer but there wasn’t enough time but he does read every question that people send him and takes time to answer it so if you have any question, please ask, he said. Another surprise was that on Friday he quickly decided to do a Facebook live. If you want to see the interview, go to Facebook page lds Philippines. This was not planned but the office people were ready for him and they went live. Elder Rasband received special impressions which he gladly shared during his live interview. “The Lord has great plans store in the Philippines. The Lord will provide opportunities for more temples and greater access for members of the Church. But right now, we should be happy with the two that we have and the two new that are coming and leave the future in the hands of the Lord.”

In his facebook page I found this quote.

 “Not all that the Lord asks of us is a result of how strong we are, how faithful we are, or what we may know. When we are righteous, willing, and able, when we are striving to be worthy and qualified, we progress to places we never imagined and become part of Heavenly Father's "divine design… Each of us has divinity within us. When we see God working through us and with us, may we be encouraged, even grateful for that guidance. When our Father in Heaven said, "This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man," He was talking about all of His children—you in particular. The Lord's hand is guiding you. By "divine design," He is in the small details of your life as well as the major milestones.’

Elder Rasband left this morning and while he was here for ten days he visited stakes, districts and mission. He went touring the Philippines and met with youth and single adults. He visited two sites where new temples will soon be constructed. Daniel also went with him to show him the sites and the preliminary plans. Where the photo was taken.

And that dear family is the message for you all.

Love,

Vero

My talk on Integrity

I have been ask to give a talk in a couple of weeks so today as I was searching of what I am going to say I found an old talk I gave a couple of years ago on integrity. So here is what I said:

Doing the right thing even when no one is looking it’s called integrity!

I was asked to speak on ways of increasing our integrity.

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of Integrity is the 13^th article of faith: “We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men. Indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul. We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous lovely or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

Here are some definitions from a dictionary for the word integrity:

 The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.

In Spanish when I think of the word Integrity I think of the word “Integro” or the state of being whole, intact, entire, or undiminished

A sound, perfect condition.

Sister Carol B Thomas said this about the subject of integrity.

“Integrity makes you whole and complete. Integrity will bring a twinkle to your eye and a look of confidence that will magnetically draw people to you.

She told a story of a time when she was 16. She wrote in her journal all the qualities she wanted in a future husband, she wrote things like:

testimony, good looks, sense of humor, smart, educated. She thought these were all good qualities. But years later when her oldest daughter  asked: “Mom, what do you think is the most important quality to look for in a husband?” By then she had been married for many years. She knew the answer to that question. She told her daughter:  Becky, I believe the most important quality we can possess is integrity. How I love the value of integrity…

Sister Thomas continued. “you can develop a love for integrity as you discipline yourselves through daily prayer and scripture study. The Holy Ghost can inspire you with a greater desire for honesty and integrity. Make a decision tonight that you will read your scriptures and say your prayers every day for the rest of your life. You see, scriptures and prayer go together like peanut butter and jelly. They will help you stay close to the Church and close to the Lord.”

Reading your scriptures and saying your prayers invites the Spirit to be with you.  When President Spencer W. Kimball was 15 years old, he attended stake conference and heard a speaker ask everyone who had read the entire Bible to raise their hands. President Kimball  knew that he had not read and felt a shame.” After the meeting was over, he ran home as fast as he could, grabbed the Bible off the shelf, and climbed the stairs to the attic. His brothers teased him, saying, “Why try? You’ll never finish it.” But he did. Almost a year later he finished reading the Bible. The integrity he had as a 15-year-old boy was one of the things that made him a great prophet of God.

Integrity means to do what you say you will do; you keep your word.   Integrity is to have the moral courage to make our actions consistent with our knowledge of what we know is right and wrong.

Like Job of old, we need to say, “Till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me.” (Job 27:5.) Though he had lost almost everything he valued—his family, his friends, his health, his wealth—he refused to give up his integrity. In contrast, many today trade away their integrity for a very small price tag. A person who shoplifts trades priceless integrity for a meager gain. A person who falsifies documents. One who avoids paying bills. Husbands or wives who are unfaithful to their spouses trade their prized integrity for a moment of pleasure. Integrity is so precious that it is beyond price; it is invaluable.

Joseph, the son of Jacob, who was sold as a slave, was a model of integrity. When approached by Potiphar’s wife, Joseph refused and fled from her improper advances because of his personal righteousness and because he would not violate Potiphar’s trust.

Joseph’s integrity placed him among the greatest of our Heavenly Father’s sons. He did what was right and good; he was trustworthy and incorruptible, self-disciplined never to violate a trust. Because of his integrity and righteousness, Joseph was favored and blessed of the Lord in every circumstance. His life is evidence that “all things work together for good to [those who] love God.” (Rom. 8:28.)

“When we think of people we know with integrity. we can easily spot them. They’re honest. They do the right thing when nobody is watching. They keep their word and they keep our confidences. They repay their debts, and they clean up their own messes. They accept responsibility for their actions.”

This is the quality that I mostly admire in my husband Daniel. He was born of goodly parents and his father was too an honorable man.  Daniel can probably tell you story after story of how so many people looked up to his father. My father was also known to be a man who was honest. Once when he sold a business, he had a meeting with the new owners in front of his employees to announce the transition. Afterwards in private as he was turning in his accounting records the new owner asked: Now you can tell me here in private how you really did business. My father looked at him puzzled and told him. I don’t have any secrets or anything you need to know different than what I already told you. My father told us time after time how proud he felt for never giving in to paying bribes or cutting corners or taking advantage of anyone. He was fair and square when he did business with people and always honored his word. My Father learned to be honest as a young man from His parents.

Speaking to the Youth President Hinckley said: Be clean: We live in a world that is filed with filth. Evil is all around us. It is on the television screen. It is at the movies. It is in the popular literature. It is on the internet. Don’t waste your time in destructive entertainment. Do not fall in the trap of pornography. Avoid evil talk. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain and choose your friends carefully.  There is no need for any Latter-day Saint to try drugs. Stay clean from these Mind-altering and habit forming addictions.

Be True: Be true to your own convictions. You know what is right, and you know what is wrong. You know when you are doing the proper thing, you know when you are giving strength to the right cause. Be loyal, be faithful, be true. There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a young woman and Young man who is clean in thought and word and deed…In all this world there is no substitute for personal integrity. It includes honor. It includes performance. It includes keeping one’s word. It includes doing what is right regardless of the circumstances”

President Hinckley was right. “There is no substitute for personal integrity. It includes honor, … performance, … keeping one’s word, … doing what is right regardless of the circumstances.

Growing up in El Salvador, I was the only member in my family. The home I lived in had a bar. It was a good size room dedicated for drinking. The bar had every kind of drink there was from whisky to wine. But I never was curious to have a taste even when it was available at any time. This bar was the most popular room in my house when people came to visit us but for me it was like if it didn’t even exist. I had decided long ago, when I became a member at age nine that I would obey the word of wisdom with exactness. My grandmother and my aunts took me to Church and that’s how I became a member.

All my life, I thought I had impeccable integrity until I met Daniel and knew he was much better than me when I realized that he doesn’t even say white lies. That is something I have been guilty of now and then.

Elder Whirlin when speaking on integrity declared: I have felt impressed to speak today about the need for integrity—old-fashioned, personal, practical integrity. To me, integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences.

 It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. Personal integrity implies such trustworthiness and incorruptibility that we are incapable of being false to a trust or covenant.

We all have within us the ability to know what is right and good.

Having received the Spirit of Christ to know good from evil, we should always choose the good. We need not be misled, even though fraud, deception, and deceit, often seem to be acceptable in our world. Lying, stealing, and cheating are commonplace. Integrity, a firm adherence to the highest moral and ethical standards, is essential to the life of a true Latter-day Saint.”

In D & C 124:15 we read: “Blessed is my servant Hyrum Smith; for I, the Lord, love him because of the integrity of his heart, and because he loveth that which is right.”

 I personally know of no higher praise that anyone could receive. My parents were not members but they believe in God and they trusted me. We only had two rules in our home. 1. Remember who you are and what you stand for and 2. Do your very best in whatever you do.

Both my parents believe in the Lord so much that I was named Veronica after the woman who went up to wipe Jesus face. There were times that people would call me some other cute name like Victoria and secretly I wished my name was Victoria because I liked it, until my mother explained the significance of my name. She told me that Veronica means true image. She was a follower.  She was a disciple and a friend of Christ and I was named after her.

Elder Bednar shares some of his thoughts on this subject.

People of integrity and honesty not only practice what they preach, they are what they preach. And the Savior stands as the finest example.

You and I must strive to become people of integrity and to be honest with God, honest with ourselves, and honest with other people.

Integrity and honesty with ourselves result from knowing and understanding who we are as sons and daughters of God.

You and I bear the responsibility to become people of integrity and honesty—people who are true and trustworthy when no one is watching and when no one else is around.

Becoming people of integrity and honesty does not occur quickly or all at once. … This gradual change of heart is one that the Lord accomplishes within us, through the power of His Spirit.

Speaking to the “followers of Christ” Moroni 7:15-17 Mormon said: “It is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.

“For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God. “But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.”

Have you ever wondered what qualified Jesus to be given the role as Savior of the world? He was the Firstborn of the Father, chosen from the beginning. But what really made Him perfect was His integrity and loyalty to His Father in Heaven.

We know that throughout His life, He consistently made right choices. He had the moral courage to make His actions consistent with His knowledge of right and wrong. He showed us the way.

As servants of the Lord Jesus Christ, we can do it! Our honest effort to improve our integrity allows God to increase our power to do it. Let me repeat that: Our honest effort to improve our integrity allows God to increase our power to do it.

 Bottom line: How do we increase our integrity? I believe that as we read the scriptures and say our prayers—for me, that has been the magic formula—the Holy Ghost will help us in our quest to strengthen and develop our integrity.

And I bear witness of this things in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Con amor,

Vero