The Lobster Syndrome

The Lobster Syndrome 

(A classic story post I found in the internet.)

A lobster may have tremendous value at an expensive restaurant, but they have absolutely no value in a work environment.  I have likely lost a few of you with my observation so let me explain exactly what I mean.  If you have ever observed lobsters in a fine restaurant you will find that they are kept in a shallow cage without any lid on the cage, yet you don’t see the lobsters getting out of the cage and running lose in the restaurant…so why not?  The reason why is that when one lobster tries to crawl out of the tank, the other lobsters will grab and pull that lobster right back into the tank with them.  They can’t escape because they consistently pull each other back in.  I don’t know the science behind why the lobsters act this way, but I can tell you that this phenomenon is something that is not always unique to lobsters in a tank…

 There are certain people in this world who are infected with “the lobster syndrome”.  These are the people who cannot stand to see other people do well.  They will pinch, pull, and pry to try and drag anyone else down who appears to be progressing ahead of them. 

What causes lobster syndrome?  From what I have observed it has typically started with someone feeling insecure or inadequate about themselves and it festers and grows from there to jealousy and envy and bitterness.  The more a person becomes unhappy with themselves the more they want others around them to be unhappy too.  Everything becomes a comparison to themselves – if one person accomplishes something good they read it as “I am not capable”, if someone is told they are pretty the insecure person hears “I must be ugly”, and it goes on and on for them.  Rather than recognizing their own unique gifts and talents, they become so focused on wanting the talents that other people have that their own talents never get developed.  And so their behavior ends up perpetuating the growth of their insecurities, and the way they try to combat those is to do everything they can to bring other people down with them.  If they don’t get to be happy then no one else should be allowed to be happy either.  And so the negativity comes and the mean spirited behavior ensues.  Sadly, their doing so won’t lead to helping them feel any better about themselves; in fact it is quite the opposite.  When they are constantly working to pull others down they only succeed in feeling worse and worse about themselves.  It’s like a never ending spiral downward until that person will face their disease and make a conscious decision to break out of this lobster syndrome. 

Many years ago I made the decision that I would keep my life free from people who were affected with the lobster syndrome. As a CEO I have witnessed time and time again how quickly a person with the lobster syndrome will spread their infectious disease to everyone around them, so I understand the danger that they bring into an organization.  It has taught me over the years the importance of protecting the environment you allow into your company.  I believe that companies who do not stay cognizant of the lobster syndrome will find that their business getting pulled down just as quickly as their people are, because at the end of the day a business is a reflection of the people who make up that business.  The majority of the success of my company can be attributed to the quality of the people who work there and the quality of the clients we associate with.  We chose to surround ourselves with people of integrity and values and it was reflected by the success of our business. 

So what can be done if you encounter someone who is infected with the lobster syndrome?  First and foremost be aware of it.  Don’t make excuses for it or try to dismiss it as “no big deal”.  Remember that it is a contagious disease and the more you allow yourself around it the more likely you are to become infected yourself.  If you see someone who is mean spirited, a backbiter, a gossip, or a joy killer, I suggest you point out to them how hurtful their actions are and then choose not to associate with that person any longer until they can get their own life together enough to free themselves from their disease.

 If you want your life to be full of success and joy and happiness then make a conscious decision to surround yourself with successful, joyous, and happy people Life can be a beautiful grand adventure that is full of love and learning and service and joy and success.  The best way to ensure that your life will have those things is to surround yourself with the right kind of people.  Choose your friends wisely.  Choose your business associates wisely.  Keep your standards high and don’t bend them for anyone.  Always stand up for what you believe in, even if you have to stand alone.  Know the kind of person you want to be in life and then be that. Oh, and most important is to avoid Lobsters! 

I thought about this story because I have been spending time with Sharon Eubank and she is one good example of someone who is NOT a lobster. She genuinely tries to help other people succeed. Today I was fortunate to get the pearls she wanted for her sister. 

Con amor,
Vero