The hand that rocks the cradle

Today I was invited to attend Kathleen's baby shower who has been working for the Area Presidency and is having a baby. I was asked the day before to bring the favors or "tokens" a game, a card for everyone to sign and a gift to give the mother who was going to Canada to have her baby. She is Canadian and this is her first child.

I did all of that by looking around my house to what I had because no store in the Philippines had 30 of one kind of thing and I needed to buy thirty of something to give as tokens. My first thought was to make the cute popcorn "ready to pop" kind of treat but she is only 5 months pregnant and not even showing so I thought of candy. Get some kisses and bundle them but then a thought came to my mind about a quote I heard by William Wallace. "The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world" so I thought I should give each person a hand lotion with this message attached to it so I did!

I also had a nice set of hand lotions to give to the mom and a cute card for people to sign. I also brought to the shower a cute white box for people to place some money in and wrote on it, "Baby's fund" since no one needed to bring a gift, it makes more sense to give her some cash.

 Last but not least, I came up with a game last minute. I had some sugar babies candy in a bucket that I had people guess how many candy boxes in the bucket so the closest person would get the candy. There were 15 boxes in there and two people guessed the closest. One said there were 14 and the other 16 so I gave one winner the candy and the other another prize I had brought. It turned out perfect because the one who got the candy, love candy and the sister who got the fan wanted a fan.

 I was amazed of how I was able to come up with these things in one afternoon but most of all how the hand of the Lord is in everything we do, big and small things. I was prompted to buy the sugar babies candy and was prompted also to keep all those cute L'Occitane hand lotions I get in some fancy hotels. I was also amazed at the creativity of the ladies who decorated the room and how they all kept it a surprise for Kathleen. The most important thing for Kathleen was to know that we care and want to wish her well. We also gave her some good advice that was placed inside a big baby bottle jar.

Kids Day Out

About three years ago, employees came to my husband's office to ask if they could have a day where they could bring their children to the office around Halloween time to get candy and also to learn where the parents work. "That should be fine" my husband said, and that is how the "Kids Day Out" event was created.

What my husband didn't know is that you can never underestimate the creativity, and ability for Filipinos to have a good time and Parrttee! Wow! Everything has to have a theme and needs to be decorated accordingly so the first year was all about Disney so there were huge posters printed in every corner of the office. Children were coming and going all inside the building where people were working so nothing go done that day.

The next year, the theme was Candyland and this tine was done in the underground parking lot so the children wouldn't be disrupting meetings inside. You can only imagine the beautiful decor for that as well. Every station had something special for the children to do. There was even a station that had was given out ice-cream and how I love home made ice-cream!

This year the theme was "The United Nations" so the stations where the children came to get the candy were all decorated according to the country that was featured. It was again an amazing party of 250 children and their parents.

Our office decided to do Hawaii and the station had Hawaiian pizza and a fruit plate for all the children and their parents. There were other places around the world featured like India, Paris, Mexico, Japan, Korea, etc. There was a photo booth as always but we forgot to take a photo because we were so busy!

The children come to get registered starting at 11:00 and the party started at 1:00 pm with a program where the Area Presidency is asked to open the celebration with a message.  The event continuous for the next two hours and right around 2:30 pm it starts to wrapt up.


This year,  Daniel, who is the DTA and I were the ones who closed the meeting thanking everyone for coming and a snack was served. All the kids dressed up so cute so its hard to choose just one winner. This year we were asked to pick the winners for best dress boy and girl and family of siblings and that was hard because they all came dressed up so cute!

I can't think of what would make this party better other than having it be at the MTC cultural hall with air conditioner and a very good microphone because with so many people you can't hear anything and the event center at the MTC facility  is the only big place near our office that has air or at the club house in Corinthian Gardens because the only uncomfortable thing about this even is that with that many people it gets too hot. However, the kids didn't seem to mind it at all.

My message to the kids was that coming to get the candy and dressing up was fun but that is not why we do this activity. The most important part of the activity is for them to see where their mom or dad spend most of their waking hours every day working and to spend time together as a  family.

Fun Family Night

Today was such a treat to attend Family Home Evening with the missionary couples. I love getting to know them and hear about their abundant life experiences. They are here to serve the Filipino people and I commend them for taking time off from dear family and friends to be here. They are all so sweet and so amazing!

The couple in charge told about themselves and their children and got us into groups to start a few games. This is the part that Daniel leaves the room to go to his office. He is not fond of games and specially what he calls silly games. People were encouraged to dress up in a costume because is Halloween but not Daniel. I got him a matching outfit and he did not want to wear it.

I always love playing fun games. One game had to do with dividing people into six colors yellow, green, blue, brown, orange and red like the colors of  the M and M's  they were to sit together by color so you didn't necessary sit with your spouse or people you even knew. I was with the blue group and we won de first game by some miracle. The Pictionary game consisted on having a board to draw pictures of something like "Witches s Brew" a person drew a witch and a pot of stew "hunted house" a person in our table drew a house with a sad face "skeleton in the closet" a person at our table drew a skeleton and a closet "Goosebumps" a person at our table drew a hand with bumps and a goose. whenever we got the right word he or she  would run to to the table and place the blue M&M inside the pumpkin jar to score points.

The next game was a silent game similar to Sharades, You got the word and acted out and the person would tap you on the shoulder to tell you what it was and you went like that until the very end. The last person would come up to say what it is and if it wasn't right, you had to start over again. I got the word for carving pumpkin. Someone else got the word for, black cat, ware would. vampire, Mommy, etc. We tied with another team for this one so to untied the game we played a different game. where  you started making a halloween sound and had to hold it for as long as you could and when you were about to be without air you would tap the next person to continue. The idea was to see who could keep it the longest and without stopping the continuous sound. It was hilarious!

Our group lost this one but was so funny! There were prices for the winners! Someday I will host a Halloween party with my friends using those games.

My Sunday class

Today I got up to get ready since I knew I had to come to Church to teach my class. I could have called last minute to say I wasn't feeling well but I couldn't possibly do it because I don't like to be unreliable so I got up, got ready and went to Church for that last hour of Relief Society.

As I was getting the room ready, Tia came over to tell me that she had been asked to teach because I had been released. Wow, how did I not know that! I guess the Bishop had not seen me to let me know but that is not an excuse these days because there is email, phone call text whatever. He should have let me know that someone else had been called to teach my class and the Relief Society President should have told me also what the plan was. I was in shock because I had been feeling ill and I had come anyway to teach the class. Otherwise, I would have stayed home.

The Bishop has a lot going on and I forgive him, the Relief Society President is young and new at what she is supposed to do so I forgive her too. The woman teaching had no idea but was sweet to send me a message about the miscommunication saying that she was sorry. I guess I should understand that we are all human and we all make mistakes and no one should ever take it personal  although I cried. I don't know why but I got my feelings hurt and I hate it when that happens.

All I can say is that I am glad to know that every calling comes with a release and is not personal or that I don't do a good job teaching because teaching is my favorite thing to do and what happened today was not a reflection on anything I am doing wrong but miscommunication.

The Bishop did call me to extend the release and explained the situation after his wife told him what had happened. They are our friends. If there is a lesson to be learned for Bishops, is to make sure you release someone before another takes over. I am glad this happened to me and not someone new in the Church who could have gotten offended and acted differently. I gracefully said ok and was cool about it even though I was very confused.

There are those few times when I feel so homesick and wished I was not here and this day was one of those days. If there was a time I needed a hug was today. October 28, 2018

Family Values Award

Yesterday was the Family Values Award banquet. We went over to Clark to stay at a Marriott before the Award banquet. This time it was held at the Cultural Hall of the Urdaneta Stake Center in Urdaneta City where a new temple is being built.

 Dr. Rosario de Guzman Itchon was the woman who received the award. She is an 80 something year old lady who is also a Medical Doctor and has dedicated the last part of her life, after she retired in helping the unfortunate around her.

Dr. Itchon first  built a free clinic and now she extended her community outreach to The Divine Mercy Family Community Outreach Inc. which is a shelter of 12 bedrooms where she resides. In other words, she lives among those she is helping. She has done all of this with her own money and donor friends. She reminded me of Rosita and John Behner.

What I like about this event is that they invited the people that they are helping as well as family members and close friends so in a sense this was a very unique award banquet. Dress code was Semi formal so It wasn't all glamorous but in a way it felt even more special.

In this event they had a key note motivational speaker who so happened to be a Bishop in the Catholic Church since the woman is Catholic and they had our Area President who is a lawyer and an excellent speaker also say a few words at the end to close the meeting about the Family, a Proclamation to the World.

This recipient received a statue or a family reading the scriptures, A framed Family a Proclamation to the world and a special Family Award plaque as well with another porcelain figure. Dr. Itchon was very touched as she received four gifts! amazing! The tables had names so all the VIP people would sit together.

The Family Values Award (FVA) is given by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to recognize the honorable efforts of moral, upstanding community leaders who are striving to advance standards and valued that are consistent with the Church's position on sanctify of the family. The FVA  is presented annually in Asia, Europe, Australia, Latin America, The United States and The Philippines.

This award is done every year on the week of the family. A Filipino proclamation where there is a week dedicated to the family in the Philippines. We sat a a table with a priest from the area and two of her close friends who went to medical school together.

You are smarter than you think!

You are smarter than you think and more amazing than you realize!

Today I had the privilege of opening at Pathway.  Can I just tell you that I LOVE talking to these students at Pathway!  They are so incredibly amazing and they don’t even know it yet.

My goal, as a Pathway missionary when I go and talk with the students, is to help them realize that they are just as good and just as smart and just as capable as every other successful person out there.  The issue these people have isn’t their ability; it is their lack of believing in themselves.  So many of them think that because they are not as educated and inexperienced that they can’t measure up – but it’s just not true.  

Our Pathway students are absolutely BRILLIANT!  I have noticed how our pathway students who are committed learn faster than other people do at other Institutions, they are more creative, they take in information more quickly, and they seem to be born with an inherent understanding of technology that is mind boggling.  The only thing that our Pathway people lack is a belief in themselves and a belief in how amazing the things they can accomplish are.  And so, I hope they believe me when I tell them that they are amazing and they are truly capable of accomplishing anything they set their hearts and minds to.  They are capable of truly changing the world.

 I genuinely believe that every one of us came into this life with unique God given gifts and talents.  I also believe that the reason we were given these talents was to facilitate our ability to make a great contribution to this world. Our job is to recognize and appreciate these gifts and talents and then figure out how to use them to accomplish things that make this world a better place.One thing we should never do is to diminish ourselves and our worth. 

 We should never doubt that we are capable of being amazing if we choose to.  Every single person in this world is capable of greatness.  I truly believe that.  And no one should ever get caught up in the trap of comparing their talents to someone else’s talents in an attempt to rank them as one being more valuable or more important than another.  One talent is never above another:  musical talent isn’t better or worse than artistic talent, just as technical talents are not better or worse than having the talent of being able to lift other’s spirits.  Every talent is different, but each is equal.  And every talent you have been blessed with, if you take advantage of it and grow it, will help you to make the world a better place in your own unique way that only you can do.

“We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.”  ~Marianne Williamson

As we head into this amazing start of a new school year, remember that you are amazing.  Recognize and be grateful for the talents God has given you.  Be fearless.  Believe in yourself.  Then start looking for ways you can use your talents to change the world for the better and START!  Just start moving forward!  You don’t have to have it all figured out in order to take the first step…just get started and as you do the path ahead will become more and more clear as to which way to go on your incredible journey!  And never forget that You are Smarter Then You Think and More Amazing than You Realize!

Verito

You are alive for a reason

You are alive for a Reason…. It’s called your purpose! 

Purpose. Every single one of us has a purpose to fulfill in this life. Something unique that we, and only we, can accomplish. Something that if we use our talents and God-given gifts to fulfill it, will make this world a better place. It is our mark to leave upon this earth and our legacy to leave behind for those who are to follow us. And it is up to us to figure out what the purpose is.

So how do you find your purpose? You start by finding your passion. Here’s a few exercises that might help you discover your passions:

Tomorrow is Pathway and I was asked to give the opening remarks. I will probable say: Ask yourself, what are my natural talents and abilities? What comes easily and naturally to me? What life experiences have I been through and what have they taught me?

Next think back about the times in your life when you were so deeply into what you were doing that you lost all track of time with no thought of being hungry or needing a break…you were so into it that the thought of putting it down bummed you out. What were you doing when that happened?

What are the topics you most like to read about? When you have free time to learn what topics do you naturally gravitate toward? When you are searching the internet, what topics do you find yourselves clicking on and reading about most?

Now think about people whose life you look at and think, “I would love to be them!” Write down the things about their life that you wish you too could accomplish.

If you could try anything in life with a guarantee that you will succeed at doing it – what would you try?

As you answer those questions try and see how all those answers might possibly fit together. What kind of a picture do they begin to paint? When you start to see the picture coming into focus does the thought of it get you excited? Do you find your mind starts racing with a million thoughts about it and you can’t help but get sucked into seeing a million possibilities opening up? If you, you may have just discovered your passion!

Once you’ve discovered your passion, as you follow your passion, continuously moving forward, you’ll slowly begin to recognize your purpose. You’ll begin to see how each experience along your path is leading you toward being able to accomplish something that is going to change the world for the better. If you haven’t begin to see it yet, try this exercise:

If you were to close your eyes and dream about how you would want to make this world a better place if you knew you could accomplish anything and there was nothing holding you back…what would you see? What big thing would you have done that made a difference in this world? Who are the people you would you have helped? What lasting impact would it have created? Remember, in this exercise you have to ask those questions with the mindset that success was guaranteed, so THINK BIG, don’t hold back… You likely just described your purpose.

All the things you are not!

There are days that I look in the mirror and feel old and not beautiful at all but after thinking about this poem I feel so much better.

All the things you are not!

You are not your age,

Nor the size of clothes you wear,

You are not a weight,

Or the color of your hair.

You are not your name,

Or the dimples in your cheeks,

You are all the books you read,

And all the words you speak.

You are your croaky morning voice,

And the smiles you try to hide,

You’re the sweetness in your laughter,

And every tear you’ve cried.

You’re the songs you sing so loudly,

When you know you’re all alone,

You’re the places that you’ve been to,

And the one that you call home.

You’re the things that you believe in,

And the people that you love.

You’re the photos in your bedroom,

And the future you dream of.

You’re made of so much beauty,

But it seems that you forgot,

When you decided that you were defined,

By all the things you’re not.

-e. h

When I read this poem for the first time It really got to me. So often in life I find myself getting all worried about my wrinkles, or my weight, or how an outfit looks…I think a lot of us do that….we worry about our exterior self instead of loving our interior self. Let’s face it, it’s an easy trap to fall into. We are surrounded by advertisements and tv shows with perfect looking people who never have a hair out off place, but we forget that those people have an entire crew of make-up artists and stylists whose entire job is to blot each shiny spot before we the viewers can see it. But we have to find ways to remind ourselves what we really are – a beautiful person on the inside where it really counts. In fact, I would argue that with age comes wisdom and wisdom makes us even more beautiful on the inside…Bianca wrote a  beautiful song about being beautiful from the inside. 

I don’t know who “e.h” is that wrote that poem, but whoever you are, Thank You! Thank you for reminding me that we are not defined by the outside and we should love ourselves for our inside!

And thank you Bianca for writing your song too as a reminder that we are beautiful from the inside! 

Con amor,

Vero

Keeping a journal or two

Today is Sariah's and Paola's birthday so my post is for them and anyone there who is a teenager or young adult. What to do and what not to do! 

I love writing in journals. At least I write something every night before I go to bed and reflect on the things I learned that day. Throughout my life I have been blessed with some incredible mentors and people who I consider role models. They have taught me the “what to do” things in life, and the “how to be” qualities, that if we embrace will turn us into someone others will want hope to emulate someday as well. 

The more in life I would observe these role models qualities and characteristics, the more I worked to become more like them because I had such respect for the people they are. They inspired me so much that I started making a list of the “what to do” things I observed in them and wrote them in a small “what to do” journal. I would write down their good qualities and awesome habits and the great leadership characteristics they displayed. Then I would go back and review this journal on a regular basis to remind myself of how I wanted to be living my life.

And then there are the other people we come in contact in life who, rather than being good examples, serve as horrible warnings. They are those who exemplify the “what NOT to do” in life. And so as I  encounter these types of people I take note of all of their characteristic and behaviors that  I don’t want to have or do in my life. I keep this list of “what not to do” in its own little journal that I can read through regularly to remind me of all the things I saw in these people that I don’t ever want to reproduce in my own life.

 I don’t think its helpful to list people’s names in the journal because that only causes us ot hang on to negativity toward specific people and that ends up hurting us far more than it will ever hurt them. But I do list their specific character traits that caused me to lose respect for them and I write down the actions they did that went against the values I believe matter. Then I review that list often to remind myself to never become a person who does the things in this “what NOT to do” journal.

I took the things in my two journals and created a personal scorecard for my life. The first page has a bullet point list of the characteristics I am trying to live by, and the second page has a bullet point list of the characteristics I am trying to stand against. And several times a year I take out these two pages and I go through and grade myself on each bullet point marking a box that says Excel or the box that says Needs Improvement. The reason I only grade on those two options is that if I am not exceling then I need improvement, because there is no allowing myself to be content with mediocrity. Excel or keep trying!

Learn from the positive and negative things you see in others. Both can teach you valuable lessons. But once you identify those who are the “what NOT to do” examples, discontinue association with them. And when circumstances are such that you can’t help but interact with them, simply be as polite as possible but do everything you can to keep as much distance from them as possible. Remember that when you lie down with a dog that has fleas, you will get fleas, and you do not want fleas!

And when you find those amazing people who exemplify the “what to do” in life, know that the best way to become amazing like they are, is to surround yourself with as many of them as possible. Because they teach us, they inspire us, and they help us become the very best people we can be.

Consider starting your own “what to do” and “what not to do” journals. Then use them to create your own scorecard for your life and give yourself monthly or quarterly reviews. Yes, do them daily if needed! It’s a great way to keep yourself on the right track and its also a fantastic way to stop yourself from going off track when someone else’s bad behavior might tempt you to do so. Be that person you want to be and don’t let anyone else get in the way of that.

Con amor,

Tia Vero

Live a life that matters

I have been feeling sick for the past two weeks and finally today I feel so much better and I am so grateful for that! One night, as I lie down with a fever, I felt so much fatigue and almost as if I were dying. I asked Daniel? Would you miss me if I die?

I kept thinking what if I die? would I be missed? Did I do enough for other people? did I live a life that mattered? And this poem came to mind.

LIVE A LIFE THAT MATTERS

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten

 will pass to someone else.

 Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies

  will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans, and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from,

 It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built;

 not what you got, but what you gave.

 What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

 What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage

or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged

 others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew,

 but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories,

 but the memories that live in those who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered, and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.

 It happens by choice!

Unknown

I hope my life is a reflexion on those things that matter most. My faith and my family.

Con amor,

Vero

What would you do differently?

If you could do it again, what would you have done differently? 

Don’t ask that question in the mindset of beating yourself up. Ask that question to truly look back at a period of time and see what lessons you learned from it and make decisions on how you want to incorporate those lessons into your future performance. That is exactly what Daniel tries to do with his employees every six months when they meet and evaluate their goals. 

That question really makes you think through and evaluate the things that you’ve gone through…it makes you look at the choices you made or the choices you should have made and didn’t, it makes you review the efforts you made or the efforts you didn’t make and wish you had, and it forces you to recognize all the lessons you actually learned from the past experience and it helps you come up with a list of all the things you now know you want to do differently in the future.

If we don’t stop every so often (I suggest doing it more frequently rather than less frequently will save you from wasted time where you could have been doing better sooner) then we will never improve as quickly nor as much as we could have. Because life buzzes along so quickly that while our intention is to improve, we get too easily caught up in doing the same-old’ same-old’ and we continue doing things we would have otherwise changed if we had really take the time to consider it.

Take your work life for example. When you start a new job you have passion and excitement and you are eager to learn. The more time that passes the more you find reasons to complain or get frustrated and left unchecked you can become completely miserable in your job. But if at the end of each workday you had taken a moment to ask yourself “If I could do it again what would I have done differently?”  and write down the things you want to different from now,  think of the incredibly positive impact that would have on your performance and success at work.

Or take a marriage for example. When you meet and fall in love you spend all kinds of quality time together being romantic. Then you get married and the kids come along and work life gets busier and you get into the routine of skipping date night because there was too much going on. Then one day a few years into it you look at your spouse and realize you’ve hardly spoken to each other let alone had a romantic date together. If every few months you look back and ask yourselves as a couple, “If we could do it again what would we have done differently?” you would notice that had you spent more quality time together you would feel closer to one another and you would have grown more as a couple.  Then you could change your behavior sooner than later. The more frequently you take time to ask the question the faster your marriage will improve.

None of us want to be dumb enough to keep repeating the same mistakes in our lives because that will take us nowhere. So be sure and take time to ask yourself:

“If I could do it again what would I have done differently?”

Then be sure and use the answers to make yourself smarter tomorrow than you were today and yesterday! There are so many things I wish I had done differently but the good thing is that there is always tomorrow. 

Falling in love all over again and again!

My closing remarks at the Director's seminar on Friday October 19th 2018. 

In September  Daniel and I attended Nacho’s and Anais wedding. How lucky for Nacho that both his parents were able to come all the way from Uruguay to witness their sealing. Good for Roberto and Sandra who have kept their covenants. Parents like Roberto and Sandra is what this world needs. They are a great example to their children and future grandchildren. I love weddings but I specially love attending sealing ceremonies in the temple. 

There is such an amazing surreal feeling when two people in love get sealed for time and eternity that I am not sure how to describe this happy feeling. I can only picture in my head their eyes sparkling so happy and in love. It is clear that newlyweds only see the good in each other. 

 How wonderful it would be if couples could find a way to always remember how in love they were with one another on their wedding day and then hold on to those feelings for each other all the years of their marriage. Wouldn’t be amazing to be able to somehow bottled that feeling and keep it sacred so it never gets lost! 

Bianca has written many love songs: I like to think of three. 

The song “feel the love again” is about how in marriage everyone starts out so happy and in love… Then as time goes on, he forgets to put the cap on the toothpaste and it gets all over the bathroom mirror which annoys her. Couples start to see all the negative things and without even realizing it, they can let the love once they had for each other get taken for granted and start to disappear. 

Bianca also wrote a song entitled “promise” eluding to the fact that when you marry, you make a promise in the altar that should never be broken. 

She also wrote the song “Please stay with me” about weathering the storms of life together. 

I believe that in those three songs is the secret of what makes a good marriage. In one it tells you to see the best in each other and to not be critical of one another. The other song is a good reminder of the promises and covenants we made in the temple and the third is about how couples can weather any storm together and endure to the end; happily be falling in love continuously all over again and again.  

 Bottom line, in a nutshell, your spouse should always be your priority. In Genesis 2:24, we read: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh.” 

What are my reminders? I have a big paining of our hands opening the temple door. People often comment on the beautiful picture adorning our living room wall. For us, this is a good reminder to keep our covenants and when I see this picture I see my husband’s hand and mine entering into the presence of our Heavenly Father. This is a symbol of living our lives with the end in mind to return to him. 

I supposed that is why some people have their wedding photos on display. People want to look at those photos and remember that special day when they had the ability to make each other their first priority and only see the good in each other. We all can do that if we choose to. I also highly recommend the book "Love is a Choice" by Elder Lynn Robbins who is a good friend or ours. 

This weekend take the time to look at your wedding photos and notice your big smiles. Then make an effort to go on a date just the two of you and hug, kiss, hold hands and truly enjoy the evening together. 

Focus in only seeing all the good in your spouse and like Bianca’s songs remember to One: see the best in each other, Two: keep those promises made in the temple and three: nurture each other to weather any storm enduring to the end. 

Since President Nelson has stressed the idea of ministering to one another. All of what we call marriage in my mind is spelled Ministering. Marriage is ministering to each other forever! 

Con amor,

Vero

Working for the Church

Working for the Church.

                         

 Daniel has been preparing for the Directors Seminar this week. I often get asked: What does it feel like working for the Church?  So to answer in a direct way, for starters, it should be like working for God. It has to be almost perfect but at times it can be challenging and this is why. I will describe it by telling you a story.

So the story goes that there were these Sneetches – some had stars on their bellies and some had plain bellies.  The Star Belly Sneetches were proud and they considered themselves better than the Plain Belly Sneetches.  The Star Belly Sneetches would walk by the plain belly Sneetches without saying a word to them.  Then one day a scam artist came to town named Sylvester McMonkey McBean.  He observed the dynamic going on and being a bad person, he realized that he could take advantage of the dynamic between these two groups of Sneetches.  And so he came to the beach with his Star Belly On and Star Belly Off machine.  

 He then brought the Plain Belly Sneetches to his machine and explained how he could give them all a Star on their Belly so they could be just as good as the Star Belly Sneetches were.  And so he gladly took their money and put them through his machine.  Then he reached out to the Star Belly Sneetches, who were furious to hear that the Plain Bellies had now gotten stars!  And so Sylvester McMonkey McBean played on their egos to convince them that they were better than that other group and they should get their stars taken off so they could stay separated from that group.  And so they were convinced to remove their stars using his Star Off machine and those Sneetches that had originally held Stars on their Bellies all had their Stars taken off.  

 Well this clearly upset the Plain Bellies that had paid to get their stars and so the process went back and forth of Stars going on and Stars coming off until suddenly the Sneetches found themselves with no money left to go through the machine.  And in all the confusion of Stars on and Stars off they no longer knew who was who anymore…and so the Sneetches started to respect each other as equals…stars or no stars…This is one of my favorite stories.  It was written by Dr. Seuss.  

The reason I share this story is this:  in my life I have seen where there are those who consider themselves the Star Bellies, looking down their noses at others and considering themselves to be ‘better than’.  I have also seen those who want desperately to be part of that ‘better than’ crowd who are willing to give up everything to be included, even their own integrity. 

 I have seen people in the work place literally implode from within because of an atmosphere of pride, ego, politics, infighting, and those who try to get ahead at any cost. Coming to work for the Church people here should follow a leadership much like the way the Savior would lead.  My husband made a commitment that he would never allow any of those things into our working environment and culture. 

 He wants everyone treated as equals, despite title or position.  He wants everyone to help each other succeed, rather than pulling each other down to climb over one another.  He wants good communication daily to everyone so that every single person was in the loop on who we are and what we were trying to accomplish, so that every person would know that they were equally important to be kept in the know.  Thus, confirming that everyone mattered as equals in the organization.

The results of this culture that was created working for the Church speaks for itself.  The audit success each year is a direct result of having a culture of people who uphold their integrity at all costs, who help one another to succeed without worry for who gets credit for it, who value each person the same regardless of rank or title, who truly want the best for each other and are willing to give honesty with respect in an attempt to help each other grow – that is the culture of working for the Church – and that is a direct result of having amazing employees who believe in those values enough to really live them each day.

It has been such a great experience for my husband to come to work every day for the last three years when the environment has been so positive and so uplifting.  That environment and those people have made him a better leader and a better human being.  What more could you ask for in a job? 

 I challenge my children to always remember the unique good culture that has been created where they work and to commit to always upholding it, no matter what and if for any reason their working environment is not healthy to get out.  Don’t ever let anyone else be the Sylvester McMonkey McBean in your life.  And never get caught up in wanting to be ‘better than’, or believing that a Star on someone’s Belly makes them any bit better than you – it DOESN’T.  

Stick to what’s right.  And I challenge anyone else reading this post outside of working for the Church to try and implement that same culture wherever you work.  It takes a genuine commitment to hiring the right people and firing the wrong ones, but if a leader will do that and stand for what’s right, the result they can achieve will humble you and amaze you.  I know, it has done that for me.   And I am forever grateful for that!

Con amor,

Vero

The Bridge Builder

The Bridge Builder.

Daniel teaches his employees to be bridge builders the way the Pioneers would plant crops for the next group coming behind them so when I saw this story, it resonated with me so I saved it. It is an amazing example of what he is talking about. Here is the story. 

The poem is called The Bridge Builder and it is a story of an old man who has to cross over deep canyon with water running through it.  The man crosses the river himself and once he reaches the other side he stops to build a bridge.  A person observes his act and questions why he would stop to build a bridge when he has already gone through all of the effort to cross the waters himself? I will let you read the poem so you can hear the answer this man gives…

         The Bridge Builder  -by Will Allen Dromgoole  

An old man going a lone highway,

Came, at the evening cold and gray,

To a chasm vast and deep and wide.

Through which was flowing a sullen tide

The old man crossed in the twilight dim,

The sullen stream had no fear for him;

But he turned when safe on the other side

And built a bridge to span the tide.

“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,

“You are wasting your strength with building here;

Your journey will end with the ending day,

You never again will pass this way;

You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,

Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

The builder lifted his old gray head;

“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,

“There followed after me to-day

A youth whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm that has been as naught to me

To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;

Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”

 So often in life we hurry along focused only on getting our own things done and we forget that once we have learned the solutions in life or overcome something ourselves, that the greatest gift we can give to others is to take the time to stop and build a bridge for them that can help them to pass the same way we have without having to go through the same struggle that we did. What a gift that is to give someone else!  

My life has been full of great mentors who were willing to stop and take the time to build a bridge for me, whether they did that through writing books or teaching classes or sitting down one on one with me to offer me advice, they each were willing to help me to learn things more easily by helping me to learn from their trials and to learn from their experience.  What a glorious gift to have given me! 

And now I want my life to be about paying that gift forward by building bridges for those who will come behind me in their work environment journeys or even perhaps in their life journey.  And so I will take the time to write the lessons I have learned in my career, to share the mistakes that taught me well, and to teach the keys that led to my successes.  Yes, this poem touched my life and helped me to appreciate the bridges others have built for me and it helped me to recognize the importance of building bridges to those who will follow behind. 

My challenge to all of you today is to make more of an effort to appreciate those who have been bridge builders for you and to commit to becoming a bridge builder yourself.

  Look for ways you can take what you have learned and simplify it for others and share it with others.  Don’t ever get caught in that trap of insecurity where you are led to believe that by sharing what you know it will somehow devalue you – THAT COULD NOT BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH!  Those who share openly and help others willingly are the most valuable employees that any company can have. They are the ones who will grow great enterprises and help them to sustain through the years.  They are the most valuable asset to any business.  Of that I can assure you. My husband can attest to its truthfulness. He is getting ready for a Directors Seminar next week. 

Con amor,

Vero