You got a friend

 Remember a song by Carol King, you got a friend? Well today I was thinking about how important it's to have friends in your life. I was wondering if I am a good friend to someone? Today I got a call today from Barbara Hopkins. She is a woman who has gone through so much trials in her life since I met her years ago when I worked for the Family Support Center and our family and ward did a sub-for Santa one year.  She has been divorced for the past six years and that has been so hard on  her but somehow she has managed to keep going. She calls me sometime out of the blue just to tell me about her day or some good news. I seriously consider her a friend even though we hardly know each other. We feel very  connected and have shared many special moments. She played the piano at my wedding and was  fabulous. I wonder if sometimes being a friend to someone has to do with liking someone for no rhyme or reason as if  there was some magnetism involved and with some other people you don’t care as much. I like how Barbara is so sweet. I like to associate with people who have big hears.  She always ends her calls saying “I love you” She is an amazing pianist who is teaching Mandy and Spencer and I hope someday she gets to teach me too. I saw this post the other day on friendship that I want to share. “How does one go about being a good friend?  We all have friends, and we all are a friend to someone else. But how often do we stop and take note of whether we ourselves are being a good friend to those we love?  I would admit that I don’t do it often enough.  And so I decided to make a list of things we could do to be a better friend:

Remember birthdays and anniversaries of important event in our friend’s lives.  We all use digital calendars today so all it takes is adding important dates as a recurring appointment in our calendars and then set it to remind us a day in advance.

Be a good listener. When a friend is sharing a problem just listen intently.

Take a get well card to friends when they are feeling down. Heck take a friendship card over for no reason at all, just to tell them you are glad they are your friend.

If someone is talking ill of your friend come to your friend’s defense.

Don’t try to compete or outdo your friends.  Be genuinely happy for their successes without feeling like you need to compare yourself.

Give sincere compliments to your friends.  Build them up. Point out their strengths whenever you can.

Respect your friend’s privacy and keep confidences they share with you.  Be someone they can trust and rely on.

Set a good example for your friends.  Don’t ever be the person to drag them down. Always be the one to help them be better than they realized they realized they could be.

Pay attention to the little things that are important to your friends.  Notice the things that matter to them and let them matter to you as well.

Pray to be a better friend and pray to be made aware of when your friends need you.

I want to keep adding ideas to this list so I can keep it on my mirror or somewhere I will see it daily so it keeps these ideas front of mind for me.  It’s so easy to get caught up in worrying about ourselves and I think it helps to have daily reminders around us that we want to focus our attention on serving our friends instead of spending so much time worrying about ourselves.

Have a great day and remember to call a friend and tell them that you love and appreciate them!” Amy makes a good point as always.

I saw a woman do some #35 people she wanted to meet in 35 days for her 35 birthday and it was very interesting how she went about meeting them and actually writing about them.  I will do a 55 people I will interview who I considered special. Maybe somehow they have touch my life at one point or another and perhaps we no longer see each other but I want to do that this year or I can do that with all my family members I don’t know that well yet but somehow we are related.  I’ll see what I who I can come up with. These have to be women or can even be men I have admired over the years and I can think of so many. I don’t even know where to start. Maybe I should start with people I am getting to know in the DR and go from there.