Persistance

I just finished reading the book ‘Mindset”but if I was the author I probably would have given the title of “Persistance”

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race” – Calvin Coolidge

I needed that quote today to remind me and Daniel too of how important it is to press on…even when you don’t feel like it.  Even when your back hurts from carrying suitcases moving things around and for Daniel is even worst at work, his head hurts from answering everyone’s questions at the same time, and his poor stomach is tied up in stress knots because he has a million calls to return and an email box that is busting at the seams and he knows there is no way he is going to get to any of it today, which just makes it hard facing the ever- mounting piles tomorrow.  Yes, even then it is important to press on.

The book is about loving challenges and it even goes into welcoming failure to get better at something. “working hard is not something that makes you vulnerable but something that makes you smarter… innate talent is nothing, success is 99 percent hard work.” She divides the world into learners and non-learners. She wrote: “I think intelligence is something you have to work for… It isn’t just given to you… you can always substantially change how intelligent you are.” She wrote: “I gave my all for the things I value. Think about what you want to look back and say. Then choose your mindset.” A growth mindset is about believing people can develop their abilities… setbacks are good things that should be embraced, and that setbacks should be used as a platform for learning.  

“People are all born with a love of learning but the fix mindset can undo it.. seek constructive criticism.. keep on going… adolescence is a time of opportunity: a time to learn new subjects, a time to find out what they like and what they want to become in the future.” 

The Author is a teacher of Psychology and has inspired students. “Everyone in a way is a teacher and everyone has a role model, someone who pointed the way at a critical moment in their lives.” There are people when faced with failure think: “Not only weren’t they discouraged by failure, they didn’t even think they were failing. They thought they were learning.” 

“Your intelligence or personality is something you can develop as opposed to something that is fixed…scientist are learning that people have more capability for lifelong and brain development than they ever thought. Of course, each person has a unique generic endowment…it’s not always who start out the smartest who end up the smartest.”

Her research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you become the person you become to be and whether you accomplish the things you value.”

“Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or a loser? “

“This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategists, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience…It’s impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training.”

“Why waste time proving over and over how great you are, when you could be getting better? Why hide deficiencies instead of overcoming them… and why seek out the tried and true, instead of experiencing that will stretch you? This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.” 

“People with the growth mindset were not labeling themselves and throwing up their hands. Even though they felt distressed, they were ready to take the risks, confront the challenges, and keep working at them.” 

“when you are lying on your deathbed, one of the cool things to say is, I really explored myself… if you only go through life doing stuff that’s easy, shame on you.” In other words she separates the ones who get their thrill from what’s easy --- what they have already mastered --- from those who get their thrill from what’s hard.

Seabiscuit: “Here was a horse who was so broken, he was supposed to be put to sleep… yet trough determination and against all odds, they transformed into winners.” 

 We all have interests that can blossom into abilities… What any person in the world can learn, almost all persons can learn… despite the widespread belief that intelligence is born, not made, when we really think about it, it’s not so hard to imagine that people can develop their intellectual abilities. 

“Creativity is not magical act of inspiration. It’s the result of hard work and dedication…people can do a lot more than meets the eye.”

“Athletes with a growth mindset find success in learning and improving, not just winning.”

The book Good to Great is about people who are constantly trying to improve… leaders are made not born and made more by themselves than by external means.’’ Sadly, stereotypes tell teachers which group are bright and which groups are not.

“How can growth mindset teachers be so selfless, devoting untold hours in preparation to teach their students? The answer is that they love to learn. And teaching is a wonderful way to learn. About people and how they tick. About life. Above all, a good teacher is one who continues to learn along with the students. Teachers are in the business of helping kids thrive, not finding reasons why they can’t.” 

“Whether we are aware of it or not, all people keep a running account of what’s happening to them, what it means, and what they should do. Our minds are constantly monitoring and improving.”

“What works is making a vivid, concrete plan: Tomorrow during my break, I will call the graduate school… or on Wednesday morning, right after I get up and brush my teeth I will sit at my desk and start writing my report… think of something you need to do, something you want to learn, or a problem you have to confront. What is it? Now make a concrete plan. When will you follow through on your plan? Where will you do it? How will you do it? Think about it in vivid detail of when, where and how will you do it? Which of course ups the chances of success.”

“When going to an interview. Learning the nuts and bolts of the company could give you an advantage.”

“In a relationship, you seem to have everything. You have a fulfilling career, a loving marriage, wonderful children, and devoted friends. But one of those things isn’t true. Unbeknownst to you, your marriage is ending. It’s not that there haven’t been signs, but you chose to misinterpret them. By the time you wake up and take notice, it’s too late. Your spouse has disengaged emotionally from the relationship. It was an evolving thing that had stopped developing for lack of nourishment…  every new person you meet is judge too as a potential betrayer” 

ask these questions: what mistake did you learn that taught you something? What did you learn today?  What did you try hard at today? 

Controlling anger: is something else that’s a problem for many people. Something triggers their temper and off they go, you find yourself at your wit’s end losing control of their mouths or worse. Anger control is a big issue between parents and children. You think, I will never do it again but the next time is a carbon copy of the time before.” What can be done? Several things, first, spouses can’t read your mind so when an anger provoking situation arises, you must matter-of-factly tell them how it makes you feel. When you feel yourself losing it, you can learn to leave the room. 

Dieting: To diet you need a plan. You need to keep desserts out of the house.  Think in advance what you will order at restaurants. Consider exercising more. Maintenance is a must. What habits are you going to develop to continue the gains you have achieve? If there is a set-back ask: What can I learn from this? What will I do next time when I am in this situation? Change needs to be maintained. People often stop doing what caused it to improve. Once you feel better, you stop taking your medicine. These changes have to be supported or they can go away faster than they appeared.  

Carol Dweck explains how It is so easy to talk yourself into giving up….it is so easy to make an excuse as to why you are justified to stop working, to give up, to walk away.  You can always find some valid justification on why that would be okay.  But the truth is that it isn’t always okay to give up and walk away.   Sometimes that is exactly opposite of what you really need to do.  Sometimes if you will just put your head down and work like crazy then you will overcome whatever trial or hurdle you are facing.

She explained how the most genius things she has ever done in her life didn’t come because of genius at all…they came from straight up hard work…the crazy hard kind of work to be more exact.  The kind of work that was so hard that she wanted to quit over and over but she told herself that quitting wasn’t an option – she told herself that her only real option was to press forward and simply GET IT DONE – and then she would go to work and do it.  And surprisingly enough that worked. Hard work overcame almost every problem ever thrown at her.  Hard work and persistence that is. Now she has a best seller because she put on the effort to write the book. 

In her book, she declared: “Don’t give up when things get hard. When things get hard just work harder.  Persist and watch the miracles start to happen.  And when you find that you have succeeded in accomplishing whatever it is you set out to accomplish, be sure to look back and recognize that this was the result of your persistence finally paying off.” 

She had also something to say about the fact that we can all change. 

“Change can be tough, but I’ve never heard anyone say it wasn’t worth it. Maybe they are just rationalizing, the way people who’ve gone through a painful initiation say it was worth it. But people who’ve changed can tell you how their lives have been enhanced. They can tell you about things they have now that they wouldn’t have had, and ways they feel now that they wouldn’t have felt. 

Did changing toward a growth mindset solve all my problems? No, But I know that I have a different life because of it—a richer one. And that I’m more alive., courageous, and open person because of it. 

It’s for you to decide whether change is right for you now. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But either way, keep the growth mindset in your thoughts. Then when you bump up against obstacles, you can turn to it. It will always be there for you, showing you a path into the future.” 

I enjoyed reading "Mindset" and highly recommended it!

Con amor,

Vero