Getting Old

I saw a photo on Facebook of someone I knew very well for twenty-five years until he started cheating. It’s weird to think how old he looks now and I wonder, do I look that old too? I hope not! 

Here is an article on the issue of getting old. “Aging is a complicated experience. When we’re young, we’re told constantly to wait until we’re older, respect our elders, and stop snacking before dinner. As we grow up, aging becomes exciting, a ticket to all sorts of freedoms like driving, staying up late and getting a job, our own place and tying the knot with the one we love.  (pretty freeing, when you think about it). 

Then, slowly, aging starts to take on a more sinister aura. We’re told that we should wear sunscreen all the time when we’re outside to avoid getting wrinkles. We listen as actors and models share their “tips” for disguising the passage of time, and compare ourselves to our friends to ensure we’re hitting the correct landmarks — from getting promoted, to buying property, to having kids. 

Upon reaching middle age, women, in particular, feel more confident but also report feeling like they’re becoming invisible — with women often noting that they’ve dropped out of sight of the “male gaze” just as they’re feeling their sexiest. Meanwhile, in a sharp contradiction to the social stigma that comes with aging, most people report feeling their happiest in their late 60s and older. 

It’s funny that the aging process should be so fraught. As corny as it sounds, time is a gift. It’s as though everyone wants to stay alive, but no one wants to look like they’ve lived.  

Given its inevitability, it’s probably time we all got on board with aging — and perhaps even started to celebrate the privileges and insight that come with it. We’ve gathered some uplifting and honest reflections, both serious and silly, from well-known people — including one very familiar face! We hope they’ll help you to feel more positive, and dare we say, excited, about growing older.

Katie Couric

“A friend of mine recently turned 69 and when I called her to wish her a happy birthday, I began to moan about our respective ages with my familiar refrain of ‘How did this happen?’ and ‘Can you believe it?’ She stopped me and said, “I have a whole different attitude now.” She told me: “Aging is a privilege.” That’s now become my mantra.” 

Jane Fonda 

“I’m super-conscious that I’m closer to death. And it doesn’t really bother me that much, what bothers me is that my body is basically not mine! My knees are not mine, hips are not mine, my shoulder’s not mine. You’re looking at somebody who’s only me from here up…The fact that I’m still alive and working, wow! Who cares if I still don’t have my old joints and can’t ski or bike or run anymore. You know you can be really old at 60, and really young at 85.”

 

Oprah Winfrey

“The way I see it, every year can be a brand new journey. Think about it: You get one chance to be 25, 38, 44, 61, and every age before and between. Why wouldn’t you want to experience all the wonder in each step on your path?” 

“People who lie about their age are denying the truth and contributing to a sickness pervading our society—the sickness of wanting to be what you’re not…I know for sure that only by owning who and what you are can you step into the fullness of life.” 

Cameron Diaz

“It’s almost as if we have failed if we don’t remain 25 for the rest of our lives. Like we are failures. It is a personal failure. Like, our fault that at 40 years old that I don’t still look like I’m 25. ‘Oh, I’m sorry. I apologize I wasn’t able to defy nature.’…I feel that aging is a privilege. I think that it’s something that I feel very honored that I get to do.”

Cher

“I do think that when it comes to aging, we’re held to a different standard than men. Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock ’n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’” 

Betty White 

“Best thing about being in your 90s is you’re spoiled rotten. Everybody spoils you like mad and they treat you with such respect because you’re old. Little do they know, you haven’t changed. You haven’t changed in [the brain]. You’re just 90 every place else.”

“Accentuate the positive, not the negative. It sounds so trite, but a lot of people will pick out something to complain about, rather than say: ‘Hey, that was great!’ It’s not hard to find great stuff if you look.”

Maya Angelou

“I can’t remember ever being anxious about [aging]. Every age, I’ve been grateful.”

Dr. Angelou always took care to practice gratitude every morning, telling God: “Thank you for this day. Thank you for the light coming through that window. Thank you. Thank you that I’m breathing. Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the phone call that told me that I have the job. Thank you even for the phone call that told me I’m not wanted anymore. Thank you because I know you have something better for me lined up.”

Con amor,

Vero