Dinner with the Bishop

Today we attended a dinner with Bishop Stevenson and Elder Porter and as we sat there having a wonderful conversation about what the Church does wordwide and how many lives are blessed because of our Church I could't help to think of their great responsibility they have to carry. I learned so many things and tools that are used to assist the poor and the aflilcted in all parts of the world.

If a Bishop of a ward feels that great responsibility for members of his ward, can you imagine the Bishop of the world? I realized today more than ever that a leader of our Church has a great responsibility to help mitigate every little thing that would impact 15 million people.

What I gathered in that meeting is that nothing gets done in the Church that hasn't been approved by a comeette and it is done unanimously. Amazing. Even Daniel's job was reviewed and sustained by the First Presidency. Their motto is communicate, communicate and then communicate.

That is why things in the Church take longer to process and it might seemed burocratic but it is the process that helps keep eveything uniform. People who work for the Church experience an atmosphere where co-workers are honest, open, direct and most of all real. Desitions are made in counsels where people collaborate with one another as a team.

I like Bishop Stevenson's way and style of doing business. You can feel how he cares about every individual as a person.

This night, having dinner with the Bishop of our Church was Priceless!

Love,

Vero

My faith is my strength

I can't believe next week I will be on my way to Utah and  then to El Salvador and back to Utah again. This is my last attempt to do things I haven't done in the last six years since I came with Daniel there. Each time I needed to stay an extra day to finish my to do list.  But over all what is important is to know those core values you take with you everywhere you go. I am thinking this out more since I will be going to a new country with new people I don't know. So today I want to share with you the one thing I take with me wherever I go. I am thinking of my little sister Liz too who is also moving to a new country where not all people believe in Jesus Christ the way we do. 

What I take above all things is my faith: Without question the most important core of how I guide my life is my faith in God the Father and His son Jesus Christ.  Let me express very clearly on this point that I respect that everyone has the right to believe or not believe whatever they choose when it comes to religion. I think religion is a deeply personal decision that no one has the right to make for anyone else. So please don't interpret what I will share in this post as some sort of judgment on religion or beliefs, I  am solely sharing about me personally that has made me who I am. 

I believe in God as my Heavenly Father who loves me and wants me to become the best person that I can possibly become. I have faith that God has a plan for me. I genuinely believe that he cares about each of us personally and that everything that we face in this life is meant to help us become a better, kinder, more loving person. 

I try to live my life in a way that I  would make Heavenly Father proud of me and that is the very core of how I try to make decisions in my life. Would I do this or that thing I am doing today? or the way I am handling a situation in a manner that God would be proud of me? 

I think much of my life up to this point and know deep in my heart that there is no such thing as coincidence. I believe strongly that nothing happens by coincidence and that we should pay attention to the good people brought into our lives and all the positive attributes we can learn from them and the way we might be able to bless their lives. 

I think that much of the time God answers prayers is through someone he brings into our lives at different times, and by that same token, I think that God expects us to be the answer to other people's prayers when he needs us to. So it is up to us to be mindful of those opportunities and to be looking for ways we can serve and help others. I think that living my life looking for the meaning in everything around me has helped me tremendously as a person and I hope I can always be of service wherever I go. 

This is it! Our time in the Caribbean Area has come to a close and a new one will start soon but the comforting thing for me is that I am never alone. I am never too afraid because I have my faith to carry me on. 

Besitos,
Vero

The things you are not!

This is a poem I saw that will become part of my collection I want to share:
Enjoy!

You are not your age,

Nor the size of clothes you wear,

You are not a weight,

Or the colour of your hair.

You are not your name,

Or the dimples in your cheeks,

You are all the books you read,

And all the words you speak.

You are your croaky morning voice,

And the smiles you try to hide,

You’re the sweetness in your laughter,

And every tear you’ve cried.

You’re the songs you sing so loudly,

When you know you’re all alone,

You’re the places that you’ve been to,

And the one that you call home.

You’re the things that you believe in,

And the people that you love.

You’re the photos in your bedroom,

And the future you dream of.

You’re made of so much beauty,

But it seems that you forgot,

When you decided that you were defined,

By all the things you’re not.

There is no doubt we live in the last days. Please Lord, have mercy on us.

Con amor,
Vero

It feels good to unplug

Last week we were in El Salvador with my mom's side of the family to celebrate Paola's graduation and to have a family reunion. We all came! It was so nice to spend time away from everything, just bonding with our family. We all were there to support Paola and the Behner's clan. There is something really comforting when you share similar experiences. I went to the American School 35 years ago and I can still remember those carefree days of High School and how it all changes in one day as you wear your cap and gown. You all of the sudden grow up!

What I like about going to El Salvador is that you are not hooked to a computer all day long. I think it is good to once in a while to unplug  from internet and cell phones and just spend time talking and getting to know other people so you can form true friendships with our own family. We get so distracted these days by our addictions to our computers and cell phones that we never take time to just talk to people about meaningful things. And the only way is ever going to happen is if we forced ourselves to make time for it and make it priority but I can tell you that is worth doing big time!

I am so grateful I got to go visit El Salvador before my sister moves to Tanzania and got to spend time with all 21 members of my extended family. I am grateful for for the amazing friends and family I am blessed to associate with in y life. And as busy as we all are, I know that when we look back at this Summer years from now we would never remember what we did if  we had stayed home that week but we would always remember attending Paola's graduation because we will remember the memories we made spending time with our dear friends and family. Those are moments we will never forget.

If it is not written down, it won't happen.

There are only a few days left for us here in the DR and didn't get to see this place the way I wished we had. I don't even know why we never went to all those fun places like cueva de la maravilla, los 23 charcos etc. Now it's too late but it gives me an excuse to come back someday. I guess what happened is that we never wrote it down as things we wanted to do. Bottom line those things were not part of our goals or we would have done them.  

I am a huge believer in setting goals, writing them down, and having a goal poster. I believe in this more than ever since I had a picture of the temple in my goal poster and somehow like magic I started to be a temple worker. I had a picture of reading good books and studying so I finished getting my bachelor degree from BYU which was another miracle. I had another picture of the world map because I wanted to travel and just this year I have been to: Uruguay, Mexico, Peru, USA multiple times and El Salvador, (twice) and now I am in the Philippines. I had a picture of reading the scriptures and ended up teaching Institute. Get the point! Anything I set a goal to do, I did! 

I think my dedication to setting and achieving my goals came to me by watching Daniel set his goals. He is very goal oriented. He has helped me to be a better person. He showed me how to achieve my personal best. I like to compete against myself. I don't care about competing against someone else. I like to focus on trying to beat my personal best. In doing that I find myself giving all I got over 110% and more if posible. 

My husband Daniel and I are now are very much alike. We never allowed ourselves to be complacent about things. We always stay focused on what we can still improve and what we can do better. That keeps us focused on continuing to do better at everything we do every day. I think that has helped us be successful as individuals and I am so looking forward on those things I want to accomplished in our next assignment. 

Besitos,
Vero

National clean up day to get rid of things

The count down has began as we get ready for our move and with that comes a lot of getting rid of things and cleaning. Every now and then people should move just to get rid of things and every spring or fall there should be a national day of cleaning day. The Clean Up Day Holiday to stay home to just clean the house! This day is a day where you literally spend an entire day cleaning up all the things that have been piling up for far too long and that have managed to make your space fell like total chaos.

My room was like that because somehow everything ended up there and that is one thing I have changed now that is just the two of us. I remember a blogger wrote: "To begin your clean up day it's usually best to start with a Clean-Up-Serenity Prayer where you state: "Lord grant me the serenity to accept the messy state my house (or office) is in, the courage to start cleaning, and the wisdom to not let get this way again."

Because you will need a lot of courage to sit down amongst the piles of stuff and have to sort through what it actually is because there is always the fear of finding something important that has been buried amongst the mess and you didn't handle when it should have been and now you'll be forced to fix. There is some truth to the fact that ignorance is bliss...until it bites you in the behind anyway...so muster up that courage and start going through the piles. Now you know it has been a clean up day when it get's to be 7:00 pm and you are still wearing your pajamas from this morning and you haven't spent one minute fixing your hair or face because you woke up out of bed and got right to work doing the piles of laundry that have piles up, opening the huge pile of mail that have been growing, and emptying your suitcases from all the trips you have taken. You go through all the mess on your bedroom floor that has been causing you to literally tunnel your way to your bed each night..." In my case inside the closets and all those drawers where I have been keeping the odds and ends or as I have called "cosas varias" where you find just about everything, form a toothbrush or comb to a pen or ruler to candy and chocolates. That messy drawer in the kitchen and in every other room has to be emptied out before we move.

It has been a busy day but like they say at the end of the day... I love, love clean up day because the clean surrounding after it's done feels amazing!!

Ten ways to success

The question is what to bring to Manila besides my stuff. This is going to be one new big adventure for me so I found this ideas someone posted on Facebook the other day in a business setting for someone who is starting a new job that can also apply to any new setting and I decided this is what I will bring.

1.       You are excited right now.   Don’t lose the excitement.   There are people in all walks of life that can’t stand to see you succeed.  They get jealous and do their best to give you reasons to slack.    Don’t be a slacker.

 2.         Look around you.  Follow the rules.  Follow procedure but find ways to do more without expecting anything back regardless of who sees and who doesn’t.    Share your ideas good or bad and discard the bad as fast as a rotten potato.   Become a valued part of any place you work.  Don’t be complacent just because others encourage that.

 3.       In every job there is something to take pride in.    I heard of a woman teaching her grandchildren how to wash a china dish.   She and her husband had run a restaurant and the one thing besides the great food that brought people back was that the dishes were spotless.  Not a smear or a speck of food anywhere on them.   When lined in a roll they were beautiful not just something to plop food on but incredibly so clean each plate looked as if it was new and being used the first time.   She said to them . These people honor me with trust and pay me for doing something I love .   I treat them as my loved ones.   Treat each job you ever have as treasure.   Each one will help you develop the skills to move through life with integrity if you will let it.

 4.       Learn discipline in speech and honesty.   Never let pressure to get something done push you to take short cuts that cheapen who you are. Be the best of you at all times and in all places.

 5.       In every job you work with people who also have lives of stress, sadness and successes.  Learn to care.   Hear their voices.  Listen for a tired voice and empathize.  Every time you take a second or two to care, you strengthen your own ability to get through hard times.  You also give the company you work for the reputation of a caring, worthy company to do business with continually.   You gain so much more than you give.

 6.       Be aware of the people around you .   Don’t let yourself be part of unwarranted suspicion…When the truth is usually far less scary.

 7.       Be the one that wants to help but keep focused and give more than a day’s work for the luxury of a day’s pay.

 8.       If you get frustrated don’t pick up the phone or talk to a customer.  Hold it together until you can take a break .   Then rethink how lucky you are to be looking forward to a payday and a step closer to your dreams.  If it is a customer that is giving you nothing but a pain in the neck, you can’t change his attitude until you change yours.  Think of that person as a member of your beloved family.  How should you treat this brother or sister in the same situation?  Ponder it maybe that person is in a horrible situation and just really needs a kind voice unexpected right at that time.   Don’t call in anger, frustration or most of all sleepy.   The sound of your first word will betray you.   Have someone tell you a joke or think of one then make the call.    You will be amazed how much cooperation you will get.

 9.       Find ways to keep learning and to keep the job fresh.   Take time off to keep from being burned out.   A bored , burned out employee is not an asset to himself or any business.   I can promise you taking pride in all your efforts and sincerely wanting to do better tomorrow will keep you encouraged and happy to be where you are.   You will never regret leaving and going someplace new.  Bridges will not be burned.  Everyone will be happy they knew you.  I know many that have been rehired when the company realized they still needed them.  All things happen for a purpose.

 10.   Enjoy life where ever you are, enjoy the process of work.   In prison it is a punishment to withhold the opportunity to work.   It truly is one of the greatest things we get to do.    Shine at whatever you are asked to do.     I promise if you will do these ten things and keep integrity as your most treasured goal.   You will always have joy even in the toughest times.

So besides my stuff this are a few things I want to bring to Manila. 

Con amor,

Vero

My last words

Today I woke up thinking of the fact that I am going to have to speak at our farewell soon and perhaps talk about the things I admire the most about Daniel.  I think the thing I love about him the most is how he has a genuine desire to help others to excel. One of the things that helps him the most be a successful person at work is his desire to kelp everyone around him to excel. I have seen how people in the office have all become better while he was their "boss" many of them got promoted and others finished school and even though this was hard to do, others had to change jobs within the structure of their work or elsewhere because working for the Church is not for everyone.

He has realized that the best way he can achieve his own full potential is to first help others to achieve their full potential. I also believe that helps him to be more successful in every aspect of his life, as a husband, father, sibling, son, friend and professional... frankly it helps him to be more successful in every part of his life.

There are so many things I have learned this past few years married to Daniel and those are the things I want to express to the employees as we leave this area. I truly believe that no matter what area of your life you are trying to be more successful in, the pathway to get there will always be the same as long as you follow the teachings of the Jesus as the perfect leader.

At some point in your life, you need to figure out the core values you are going to live by. Then write down the things that you won't do because they don't align with your values. Then don't accept anything in your behavior that goes against your values. Each day force yourself to live by your core rules that uphold your values and that is the secret to success in life.

Somehow I have to give this message to the employees when my turn is up to speak and end with my testimony of the things in my heart I know are true.

Besitos,
Vero

Celebrating Fathers

"The best money advice ever given me was from my father. When I was a little girl, he told me, 'Don't spend anything unless you have to." -- Dinah Shore

“The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” John Wooden

Two quotes, two fathers. One depicts mine and the other Daniel’s father. Yesterday was Father’s Day and it is the day we pay tribute to our Fathers and Grandfathers and the men who have impacted our lives for the better. Daniel and I had a discussion about the things our fathers taught us that we want to pass along to our children. So here is what we came up with:

*Always do the right thing, even when it’s hard.  Daniel’s Father never flinched at doing the right thing, even when it means the result will be difficult. Hermes, Daniel’s dad, and now Daniel have always been willing to do what’s right no matter what the situation or circumstances are.

* A firm belief in God. Both or our fathers believed in God and trusted him. My father went to the extent as to asked people on a job interview if they believe there was a God. If the answer was no, he didn’t think much of them and threw the application into the trash.

*Keep your word.  If you say you will do something then follow through. Be someone people can count on to do what you commit to. If Daniel says he will do something you can rest assured he will. I have never known him to drop the ball on anything.

*Work hard and do the work well. If you are going to do something then give it 100%. My Father never did anything without putting his entire effort into it.

*Be productive. My Father used to start every day with a task list of items to get done and he stayed completely focused until he finished the task on hand. He made the most of his time every day. You never found my Father wasting time when there was work to be done.

 *Be on time. Daniel has always set the example of being on time. He considers it a matter of integrity to be on time. This is one I have struggled with my entire life as I always seem to be running ten minutes late…but it is because of Daniel’s example I continue to try and improve on this one.

  *Be Goal-oriented. My Father always had the habit of setting goals and then worked hard to achieve them. He taught me to set goals at a very young age when it came to saving money. He would tell me how at a very young age he had to work very hard because his mother was a widow and he at age fourteen supported his mother and brothers achieving what he had set out to achieve. From a little business to a larger and even larger business. That was his goal, to be a successful businessman and he achieved it.

*Believe in yourself. When things used to get tough in my life I knew if I called my Father he would tell me that I could handle it. He forced me to believe in myself because he believes in me and told me I was capable. Not only that but he thought I was like a Saint. There is something incredibly powerful about a Father who tells his child he believes in them and they can do it. The impact of this one thing alone is probably one of the most impactful things to any child’s self-confidence. I never felt like things were out of my ability to achieve if I truly wanted them and was willing to work for them and that attitude came from my Father’s constant encouragement telling me I could do it. This has served me well my entire life.

*Integrity matters most. Always live your life with honesty staying true to your values and beliefs. I can honestly say that Daniel never saw his Father tell a lie of any kind. Talk about a powerful example to set for your child.

When I really stop and think about all the life lessons our Fathers has taught us (as well as our Mothers) I really feel the impact a parent can have in a child’s life. The impact of a parent’s words are one thing but the impact of their example is life changing.

 I hope that I can always strive to have the same impact in the lives of my own children.  Thank you to Fathers and Mothers who make the effort to teach us all. What a tremendous blessing you are!

There you have it! Today we are going through papers as we are preparing to move and have found a lot of pictures from both of our fathers. In our hearts we know they are enjoying a great father’s day in heaven.

 

 

 

 

 

Father's day

Today is Father's day in the US but not here in the DR

CREATE

Yesterday was Liz and Craig Vanleeuwen's 36th wedding anniversary. I remember how they had struggled the first two years of their marriage but they found a way to make it work. So the million dollar question is what causes divorce? And how to prevent it?  Dr. Mark Goulston appearing on Oprah a few years ago said: " A marriage like a computer come preinstalled with loveware."


When you buy a computer it comes preinstalled with software. And when you get it out of the box, plug it in, you hear those wonderful chimes on Mac or on PC Windows that signal you're good to go.


Then your honeymoon starts and you are zooming through the internet and using all your productivity software. But  then you hit a glitch. A screen freezes, documents go unsaved, time to reboot. Over time the glitches get worse. Sometimes you have to reinstall the software and sometimes you even have to reinstall the operating system. I've actually reinstalled software, but when it's a matter of operating systems or even motherboards, I get a little sick to my stomach.


When that happens you can rapidly begin to feel vulnerable and exposed and that vulnerability can cause you to hate the technology that just months ago you loved taking out of that box when you got home from Best Buy or the Apple store.


When you fall in love, that comes preinstalled with "loveware" and an operating system called love."
He uses a mnemonic CREATE ( as in CREATE love) to make each program easier to remember.


C= Chemistry= is about romance, excitement, sex and passion.
R= Respect =is about both feeling it towards and from each other and proud and lucky to have this other person as your spouse.
E= Enjoyment= AKA "fun" is pretty straightforward...you know that's where you each put a smile on each other's face.
A= Acceptance= Where you unconditionally accept and feel accepted for each other's essence, based on who you each are, not what you each do.
T= Trust= knowing that they will do what they say they'll do.
E+ Empathy = Where you understand and feel understood by each other.


Yep, When you fall in love, all of these feel present. But alas. Just as with our computers, each and sometimes all of the different loveware programs develop glitches. The challenge is that when these inevitable glitches develop, couples do not have a way to reinstall their loveware. And when the operating system falls apart and they not only stop loving each other, they barely tolerate each other and neither knows what to do to make it better. Hatred is the result of  hurt and disappointment not being addressed early enough to prevent it from turning frustration, anger, hostility and in  the end bitterness. Trying at this point to fix the problem is too late! Moral of the story, work on your marriage every day and not just when you feel you need help.

Ex- Foliate

Yesterday I was talking to someone who has a hard time letting go and moving on... so I went to my files where I keep a few articles that have caught my attention. There is one with the tittle: Ex-Foliate from an unknown author and this is basically what it says:


"Moving on from your ex is never easy. Even though you may still be angry with him of her, you will have moments when you might question your decision. And if you have children, you'll probably question it even more. At the end of all the "what ifs," you must admit that you aren't meant to be together. Although you may be re-married or even alone by now, you're definitely not solo on this journey. You must look forward and not back.


Head onward and upward by forgetting the past and removing any negative thoughts of it. The same way you ex-foliate your skin, you need to "EX-foliate" the remainders of your ex from your world. At this point, you probably feel that your ex is about as useful as a bunch of dead skin cells any way. This may change down the line, but for now you must focus on the present. Here are some simple ways to Ex-foliate your former significant other from your life and make this transition less painful.


Remove Old Photos: Make sure there are no photos of you and your ex lying around the house. You could be having a great day and then all of the sudden go into a drawer and find a photo of the two  of you hugging in a pool in Cancun. While you may not have gotten sunburned on the trip, you might have gotten burned by your ex and you don't need to be reminded of it. Pack up all of the photos and put them in a box far away from any place you could stumble upon it.


Go New Places: Going to the same restaurants, shops, etc. that you went to with your ex should be off your radar. It's best to find new places with new faces. If you are single, don't go into places where they know you as a Mrs. when you want them to know you as a Ms.


Remove Cell Phone Reminders: Delete any old voicemail messages of texts from your ex. That birthday text message your former souse sent you last year might have been cute then, but if you stumble upon it now it loses its luster. Clear out  your inbox and make room for all the new messages and possibilities.


Select New Music: Don't listen to the song that remind you of your ex. There's nothing like making an effort to put your ex-spouse out fo your mind and then the song that played when you got married starts up on your ipod. Clear the decks and make a new playlist.


Login to Your New Life: The internet probably contains many reminders of your ex. Your facebook may need the biggest clean up. Head in there and delete any photos with both of your together. Also, the friend that went over to your ex's side of the fence should be unfriended immediately.


Think Positive Thoughts: It's just physical things that can remind you of you ex. Thought that we have can change our outlook on life, so  think positively. Don't remind yourself of all of the things yours ex couldn't stand that you did, instead, be positive and focus on all of the things you are going to achieve in your new life.


Make Notes of Your Progress: Write down the progress that you're making as a new free person. Get a journal and put down your thoughts as they come to you. List where you've been and where you're headed. This will keep your eye on the prize--- Happiness!!"

I need to calm down

Last night I felt a little stressed. I was thinking of all the things I have to do before the big move to the Philippines. I heard from everyone I talked to who has lived there that is the best place on earth and that the people are so sweet and that gives me comfort to know.


In July, I would need to be in three places at the same time. El Salvador, Utah and Idaho. I mostly need to get a lot done in Utah before the move and that makes me anxious. The cure for that is to attend the temple. I normally go there every Thursday morning but today I am taking care of other business and can't go. I will for sure go with Daniel on Saturday. It is truly the only place where I can completely feel peace.


What is hard about our assignments is that they all have a start date but not a end date, we could be in the Philippines somewhere between three to six years. The average is about four so I have to think that in the next four years or so I will be completely removed from my world, my friends, my children and grandchildren, and my mother and sisters.


We now have to plan events and family reunions where we could all be together and it gets harder and harder as the family keeps growing. Just think of the places we could potentially have a family reunion: Manila, our new home; Dar es Salaam, my sister Liz's new home; San Salvador, our hometown;  Mexico City, where my sister Vanessa lives;  Miami, where a son and a cousin lives, San Juan, another place we know so well and where we could take a Caribbean cruise; Orlando, where my mom  has a timeshare and we also have family; or Salt Lake City, my home forever.


 If I had a magic wand I would love for all of us to be in one town and ideally lived in the same neighborhood or building. Secretly believe it or not, that place is Barbados. Yes, it sounds crazy but that is to me the definition of paradise. If all 21 of us could live there and somehow manage to do business from there it would be perfect!! But life is not what we want is what the Lord wants and there is a mission for each one of us to accomplished and clearly is not found in Barbados, at least not at the moment so for now like the saying says:  "Some people see things that are and ask, why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, why not?  Some people (like me) have to get to work and don't have time for all that!" George Carlin

It's official, we are moving to the Philippines!

Today we are going to start looking at all our possessions to see what we need to take to the Philippines and decide what to send to storage and what to give away. What a long day this is going to be. I am especially looking for a few things that have been missing. I got one perfume without opening that I got to find. Things have been disappearing around the house like: two watches, a purse and my perfume. I hope I can find them all soon because nothing ever was missing for years until Geniffer came to work for us.


I have asked her about them but she seems like she doesn't know. I feel is all my fault by not knowing where I put things! I should be more careful. I know the purse was always in the same place but maybe I moved it. It makes me so mad to  have to be looking for things not knowing if is wasting my  time because I will never find them?? Why do people steel things?? It makes me so upset!! I am a compassionate, giving person and I am happy when I give something to someone but at the same time it irritates me when people  have taking something without my permission.

Truth is truth!

Today I saw on the news how a woman lied about her race to be in a better position to "help people of color" and she believes in her heart she did nothing wrong. How about simply being truthful?


When you do the right things in the right way,  you have nothing to lose because you have nothing to fear.” – Zig Ziglar


It is ALWAYS worth it to do the right thing – ALWAYS!


Truth is truth. Right is right and wrong is wrong, and there just isn’t a right reason to have to lie about who you are.


It’s so easy for people to get sucked into situations where start thinking you can justify doing the wrong thing in order to get the right result you hope for. I just think we have to do everything in our power not to let ourselves get sucked into that trap. We have to constantly remember that no result is ever worth doing the wrong thing for….period.


When we are willing to stand up for what is right and uphold the truth we can walk away without regrets, regardless of the outcome. Because right is right and at the end of the day all that matters is that we live our life with integrity because our integrity defines who we truly are. This woman was the head of the NAACP a National Association for Colored People.


“People of character do the right thing even if no one else does, not because they think it will change the world, but because they refuse to be changed by the world.”    -Michael Josephson


Today I was reminded how important it is to be truthful to yourself and others. What you see is what you get. No need of pretending something you are not.

Learning new things

Life is not static we are constantly moving here and there, at least that is what I have discovered by been the wife of a DTA and that is the good thing. We sometimes don't realize we need to move on. That is the bad thing. As much as I love the people here in the DR I have to say good bye and that is hard. When I was just married to Daniel I decided that I wanted to learn how to make the best food ever creating my own recipes. In today's day  and age for is amazing is that you can learn how to make anything by just looking on line. let's say I want to make carrot cake, I look at what’s on line and modify the ingredients according to my taste. Every recipe is a little different so I pick the best of  three of four recipes and they become my own. That is my secret!


Today, at 55, I am learning something new. I am building something new. I am constantly faced with learning something new. It can be so hard and frankly, time consuming! It is also invigorating and quite satisfying. I love cooking now and want to share those recipes with my kids and grandkids.
 it feels good to know you are good at something that you were a disaster before. That been said. As we look at our calendars and all that we have our family and ourselves doing, we need to determine what still works for us and what doesn't. If something isn't bringing us joy or a sense of satisfaction any more then maybe it is time to let that go and move on to something else. Find your passions like my husband says.


For the past five and a half years my passion was the Caribbean islands. I am fascinated by how interesting this part of the world is but our time here has come to an end. These transition moments happen for adults and kids and whole families. My sister is also transitioning to a new part of the world too. We need to listen to our inner self and know that no matter where we go, we hold the same values. Making a change isn't the same as quitting, thank goodness is not that we are quitting is that we were assign to go someplace else. The Lord needs us there.  It opens a door to doing and learning something new. So be brave and look at what fills your thoughts and days. Is it filling your soul and your family? Now I am going to be an expert of the people of the Philippines. I will learn more of their cuisine and enjoy every second I am there for now, I will just enjoy the last couple of weeks we get to spend with people we have learned to love here. What I love about life today is that social media keeps us still in touch. I will always remember the amazing journey we had with dear friends and for that, I feel so blessed!

 

Dance like there's nobody watching!

Dancing makes me happy! Here is a little secret for all of you out there, in case you didn’t know, women love to dance or at least most Salvadoran woman love to dance. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to dance. Anyone who spends five minutes with my family pretty much know that my mom and sisters are always throwing impromptu dance parties pretty much any place, anytime for any reason.

Every celebration has to have music. Life is just better when you have music playing that you can dance to. A happy song can change any mood from sad to happy within the first few bars of the song. Music can totally take you away from hyper focusing on problems to dancing and enjoying yourself. Music and Dancing are powerful tools to help you be happy.

This past week was my niece’s Paola graduation party from her school in El Salvador.  My mom, sisters and the entire Flores clan attended.  We were invited to the traditional prom party for the class of 2015. In El Salvador and here in the DR too, the American School throws a big party for their graduates. The idea is for the graduates to go to prom with their parents, family and friends. Before the party begins, we had the parent and kids all joined in together to cheer on the graduate as he or she walks with a parent down a long pathway and at the end of the stroll they all meet at the dance floor to dance the first dance.

The daughter with her father, and the son with his mother. Everyone dresses elegant. The huge ballroom at the fairgrounds is the only big place that could hold sitting for 3300 guests so it’s a big party and everyone there is having a fantastic time. Toward the end of the party at around 11:00 p.m. the dancing turns into a type of carnival theme and people just simply let their hair down. You wear masks so you are free to be silly. You can’t worry about how you look or what other people think of your dancing…it’s just being confident enough to put yourself out there and MOVE!

My point is this, I think is very therapeutic and I am not an expert it's just my own opinion to try to be happy and to let go! So what better way to do that than having your own little dance party? You can dance with friends, you can dance at work, you can dance in your car, or you can dance all by yourself if you can’t find anyone to dance with you – it doesn’t really matter where or how…it just matters that you DANCE!

 

 

Seven days is not enough!

Bianca always tells me to not live in the past and she is right but how I wish we all lived in the same city. I love my family but we in all parts of the world and that is why every two years we manage to get together and sometime even in between.


In 2009 we started that tradition when my nephew Alex graduated from High School. In 2011 we went to the temple open house in El Salvador in December and New years we went on a cruise to Jamaica, in 2013 we had Mandy's wedding and now in 2015 Paola's graduation.


This time we went on Wednesday June 3 and stopped in Miami meet baby Tiago and see Ale and Lexi. The baby is so adorable, a mini Lexi. The next morning on Thursday we boarded the plane to El Salvador. We got checked into the Hotel and went over to Liz's house. I went to get my hair done because the next morning we had to get up early to be at the graduation ceremony. Friday was graduation day and a nice luncheon at the Club Campestre. In the afternoon I went to the market to buy a few souvenirs. In the evening we had dinner at Liz's house. The next day on Saturday morning we went to the temple and in the afternoon, the guys watched the game while we got ready for the party. That was some fun party!! The only in El Salvador type party!! Got to our hotel at 2:am and somehow managed to be at church by 9:00 a.m. We then went to Liz's to have lunch and to the ruins but ended up in cerro verde. The two hour trip ended up more like five hours. That night we went to have pupusas and didn't break the piñatas the way we had planned. On Monday we had lunch with kai and his wife and went to the doctor. Daniel had a bad ear infection but the poor thing didn't want to tell anyone to not spoil all the fun. Thank goodness for antibiotics. The next day we went to Zara and to Decameron and the following day we came home.


There were a few things I wished I had time to do and didn't get to. Like getting a new birth certificate, the one I have is too old, Getting the DUI issued, the VanLeeuwen name removed to change my signature at CITI bank and all my documents, take some cash out, Find the legal papers for the lot in Los Planes and actually see the lot. Get the paperwork done to sell the apartment, Visit mama Hilda's burial, take some jewelry to get repaired  and go to the beach house and to help Liz with the move. I couldn't do any of that, and for that I feel overwhelmed!


I don't know if I can go back while I am in the Philippines and where would I stay? In retrospect I wished I  had stayed there for another week. Seven days is not enough!

El Salvador Trip, June 4th - 11th

There is nothing like taking a summer vacation in El Salvador, my favorite spot to visit in the entire world. Especially when that vacation includes your whole entire family from my mother’s side.  All 21 of us!   We had a great week of eating lots of pupusas, lying out in the sun for those who got to go to the beach house or Decameron, play games, attending church and the temple, watching fun movies, breaking a piñata and of course, dance parties!  I think what makes El Salvador special is the fact that I know it so well. I was born there and if you manage to get away from all civilization which you could unplug if you wish, you have absolutely can unwind and enjoy the beautiful surroundings and the company of your friends and loved ones.

For people like me who are fully addicted to their computer or the phone, finding a vacation spot in El Salvador is a MUST!  Not that you don’t get access to internet is that it is very slooooow. I have decided that everyone needs to find a way to leave the computer and the phone behind when they go on vacations.  Some of you may be disciplined enough to simply turn them off, but for those who are truly addicted like I am, it takes finding a vacation spot where you are forced into electronic silence submission with no internet or cell access available.  I know the thought of that probably sends many of you into a cold sweat just thinking about it, and trust me when I tell you that I understand that anxiety completely, but you have to believe me when I tell you that yes, you will be going through major withdrawals for the first two or three hours, but then something truly magical happens…after those first few hours of cold sweats and constant looking down at your iphone for those little bars to appear just long enough to download a message you will suddenly hit this moment of “wait, there is nothing I can do about it if I find out there is a problem anyway, so what the heck…it is what it is” and then then it’s over – the anxiety stops, the cold sweats subside, and the next thing you know you have broken that addiction for the rest of the trip.  You can laugh and smile and enjoy yourself completely.  You can relax and unwind and be present.  It is MAGIC!

Every single one of us needs that time away. It allows us to clear our minds, to reset, and to actually pause long enough to sort out all the thoughts in our own heads.  Sometimes we go so fast and so furious that we are just going through the motions without even taking the time to think about where we are trying to head with our lives.  So taking that time away on a technology free vacation is the only way to really step back from the day to day madness and regroup as a person.  And there is no need to feel guilty about taking a vacation because you will come back a much better and more productive person when it’s over.  But make sure that when you schedule a vacation that it truly is a non-working, non-texting, non-emailing vacation where you can relax and enjoy your time and your family completely.  And if you can soak in a little sun while you do it then all the better!

“A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.”  -Robert Orben

My suggestion today is to plan your techno-free vacation like a cruise or something in some remote part of the world and make it happen!

This was a bitter sweet trip on many levels but I  hope to only remember those good times and not worry too much of what we weren't able to do. It was too short and felt that I needed more time to finish some important business there, knowing that after my sister moves to Tanzania, I will have no one there to visit.

Thank Heavens for true friends!

“There are some people in life that make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and just live a little better.”   -unknown

Yeah…those are true friends and having them makes life SO MUCH BETTER!

I have been incredibly blessed in my life to have amazing friends who have been a part of my life for many years. I can go back to my high-school and College days and can think of a few dear friends for life. Now I get to be instant friends with those my husband knows from work and his endeavors. Today I get the opportunity to tag along with many new people in different parts of the world. I get to spend my time doing things with the members each day who are also my neighbors and they became dear lifelong friends, Nancy Rappleye and Jill Kimball are an examples of my newest friends with whom I shared so many memories visiting teaching.  I was lucky in all the neighborhoods I moved into and particularly one where I spent over 15 years full of incredible people who have all become dear friends too and those from the Latin community when I was the Honorary Consul. Most of all I am lucky that I consider my family to be my very best friends. Yes I am blessed to have amazing friends and I honestly can’t imagine what my life would be like without them in it.

Friendships are something we can easily take for granted if we don’t make time to focus on them. Friends in the US remember that summertime is a great time of year to take the opportunity to do some fun things with your friends. Go on a picnic, go boating for a day, take a walk in the evenings when its cooling down, go swimming at someone’s pool, play a game of pin-pong or tennis, go see a blockbuster movie, or one of my personal favorites, break a piñata and have a game night where you all get together and play card games and board games and eat yummy food.

It doesn’t really matter what the activity is. What matters is that you are spending quality time together and remembering all the reasons you love being friends! So get up from your computer and grab your phone and call a friend and make fun plans together. Life is short and like the opening quote says, good friends make you laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, and live a little better! I am updating my address book and it's amazing how many people I have known over the years.

 

Time to be the one

I am reposting Amy's blog entry since I completely love her advice and she couldn't have said it better. These is what she wrote:

"I received my once a week email from my daughter Ashley today – I love her emails because they always share something incredibly inspiring that literally makes my entire week. Today she talked about a story that her teacher Kami shared with her when she was a teenage girl that she said changed her life!  First I’ll share the story and then explain how she shared it changed her life:

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

After this story was shared with Ashley Kami gave her a sticker that read “I’LL BE THE ONE!”  My daughter took that sticker and put it on the dashboard of her car so she saw it every morning on her way to high school and every afternoon as she drove home. She said that she didn’t realize it at the time, but after seeing that sticker everyday saying “I’’LL BE THE ONE!” it changed her life forever and now it is engraved on her heart. She said that it reminded her every day to not pass any opportunity to serve or help thinking that someone else would do it. We should take the opportunity ourselves!

How lucky am I to have someone to lift me up each week with an inspiring message! #blessed

And because of her I will be sure to watch for those opportunities to serve and be more careful not to pass by thinking somebody will do it!

Have a great day everyone!"

~Amy

At times it's not easy to be the one because we think someone else will do it so I will remember this story when I feel prompted to do something but hesitating to act.

The toughest job your ever do!!

This was my letter to the girls today:

Hello girls:

It was mother's day here in the Dominican Republic yesterday so I got to celebrate this special day again!! Daniel woke me up with breakfast in bed. He makes the best omelets!!

We then went to Church and had the farewell for a dear couple relocating to New York. we invited them and four other couples to dinner last night. Daniel made his delicious milanesas and his famous rice. I made soup and an assortment of salads so If you called yesterday  during dinner, you probably couldn't get us. Sorry!

Today I want to salute all the mothers and future mothers by sharing an article published in the Fortune magazine.

 "The Toughest CEO Position In The World

I was a CEO of a high-growth technology company for many years and so believe me when I say that I don’t make this next statement lightly: There is no tougher CEO position in the world than that of the CEO of a home.

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Amy Rees Anderson

As CEO of a home you are not just the Chief Executive Officer, you are the Chief Everything Officer. You are responsible for the finances and budgeting; the facilities cleaning, repairs, and maintenance; the laundry; the transport; the scheduling and project management; the cooking; all human resource responsibilities such as rewarding and discipline along with ensuring safety and protection of each person in your care; counseling as needed on any number of subjects; spiritual advising; educating on science, technology, math, art, history, etc, as well as teaching all values and life skills; decision-making (noting that some decisions are literally life and death for the team); and doing all of this on a 24 hour a day x 7 days a week basis without any sick days and without vacation time.

As the CEO of a big company I was able to receive validation for the work I did in the form of awards and accolades as well as thanks from clients and employees. But as the CEO of a home you carry all the responsibility but typically receive very little external validation for the work performed. There are very few awards and accolades given to CEOs of a home, and while you hope for thanks from the team, you have to accept the fact that a vast majority of the work you do will go unnoticed and unappreciated. Let’s face it, no one thinks to thank you for making sure there is milk in the fridge and toilet paper in the bathrooms. I still recall a humorous conversation I had with a woman who had left a high powered corporate job to become a stay home mom to her little children. She was expressing just how desperate she was feeling to receive any validation at all in this new job. She shared that every time her husband walked in the door from work she literally wanted to grab his face and say “Did you see that the dishtowels are all clean and folded perfectly in the drawer and the cans are all lined up nicely in our food pantry?? …Aren’t you so proud of me?!” No doubt there is an unfortunate lack of validation, either private or public, for the CEOs of the home.

Salary.com recently did an analysis of how much salary an employer would have to pay a Mother to cover the cost of each of the responsibilities she carries in her 40 hours along with the 56.4 hours of overtime each week. They calculated that an employer would have to pay a Mother $122,732 a year. I would suggest that is getting off cheap! They even offer a calculator for you to personalize your own Mother’s salary at mom.salary.com. My own Mother gave birth to ten children within a twenty year span, so their calculator decided she should make $171,891 per year, but the reality is that there isn’t a dollar amount that would have fairly compensated her for the amount of work she actually did.

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It’s important to note that many CEOs of the home are also working second jobs outside of the home, yet their burden of responsibility at the home remains the same. Having been the CEO of a company while being a single-mother CEO of a home I learned some valuable lessons. The greatest of which was the importance of outsourcing and prioritizing. The best advice I can give anyone who is both the CEO of their home and is also working a second job outside of the home is this: Outsource everything and anything you can afford to that isn’t an absolute necessity to do yourself. That was the only way I survived. I also had realize which of my home tasks just didn’t matter in the big scheme of things. For example, I realized I could still be a successful CEO of the home even if I bought my bread at a store rather than baking it myself. Sure homemade bread tastes better, but it’s the perfect example of one of those things that just doesn’t matter. Whereas, the most important thing a CEO of the home can do is to focus their time on teaching their children good core values and preparing them to become contributing members of society. There is no more important task than that.

I literally cringe when I hear women respond to the question of what they do for a living and they say, “I am just a stay home Mom”. I want to scream “NOOOO (imagine scream in slow motion)…you’re not! You are the CEO of a home and that is the toughest CEO Position in the world!” One should never minimize the role of CEOs of homes. Whether it’s working mothers, stay home mothers, or stay home fathers, all deserve incredible thanks and validation for the amazing work they do. Thank heavens for Mother’s Day and the reminder it serves that we should all take a moment out to thank the CEOs of the homes that have benefited our lives. Let this article serve as my own way of saying thank you. You all make the world a better place"

Yesterday was the day in the DR designated to acknowledged women in general, not just mothers, for all we do. I am grateful to be a woman. I love being a woman. I know I was a women before I came to this earth and I know I had a mission to fulfilled and part of that mission was to be a mother to the most elect children like you, a wife and a grandmother. And for that I will always be grateful!!

Love,

Mami Vero  (a.k.a. Nana)