I am a survival

Today as I said a prayer, I felt like crying and felt relieved at the same time. Why am I relieved that September 11^th happened? No, I am not a sadist who enjoys seeing people’s suffering or that I am anti-American, I just like to think of this day about something else rather than my wedding to the very person who betrayed me. 

 

How fitting that it was on a September 11th, 1981 that I was sealed for all time and eternity to Brad Van Leeuwen. Everybody who was alive that day remembers what they were doing exactly that morning. I was busy at home making plans to celebrate my 20^th anniversary but the tragedy turned our jovial feeling into a sobering sentiment. That evening, we were glued to the T.V instead. 

 

This year we were to be celebrating our 40^th anniversary but instead this day, I commemorate the September 11^th everybody remembers. Every time I see old photos of the twin towers, it resembles in an awkward way the old photos I sometimes find of Brad and me. Solid, strong and immovable but now are gone forever. I can’t deny the feeling is still sad, however let’s focus on the good that has come because of it. There is nothing anyone can do at this point so there is no need to open those wounds.

 

Every year from that day forward it has been a good time to remember the sacrifices, service men and women, gave up their lives in an act of heroism. I remember how unified the world was in a time of unbelievable tragedy. From that day in 2001 forward, we take a moment to thank the brave first responders.  I think of friends and loved ones who drew closer and came to the aid of those suffering. I think of those angels who are there when you are experiencing loss. I understand that dealing with divorce it’s in no way equivalent to what happened on 9/11 but for me, it was that tragic. 

 

There is something I haven’t said over the years of watching the event unfold on the news over and over again, as if there was something anyone could have done to prevent it. We remember but in my case I have forgiven and hopefully have become a better person because of it. 

 

 

Con amor,

Vero