Last weekend my sister Liz, attended two funerals in El Salvador. One of a friends’ uncle and the other of a brother in our old ward, brother Peña. He was in his mid-fifties and left behind a wife, children, many friends who loved him dearly.
At the funeral people commented how he was an amazing person and how he lived his life with love and service for others and I feel lucky to have known him. I am sure It was hard for his family to see him move on from this life but there is comfort in believing that they will see him again someday when he is reunited with his family in the next life.
According to my sister Liz, as each of his children stood up to speak about their father, brother or uncle at his funeral, each person shared different memories they had of him. My sister told me that It was interesting to hear about the different random moments that stood out to each person as they shared the stories about their time with brother Peña. They each told funny stories about him, and characteristics they had each seen in him, and special moments when he touched their lives. The stories each person told were very different and each from their own perspective of the impact brother Peña had made on their life.
I couldn’t help but wonder if I was to pass away what memories would my children and grandchildren have stood out in their minds? What characteristics would I have exemplified to them that shaped their lives? What happy moments have stuck in their minds that would make them laugh to recall?
I then went on to ask myself what memories I would think to share if it was my mother or one of my sister’s funerals. I wasn’t thinking about it in a tragic way, but rather I was thinking about what special memories stand out to me about each of them from our time we have spent together thus far in our lives. I started going through those special moments that were etched in my memory of each of them – memories of celebrating birthday parties and dancing around our living room together, and memories of different family trips we had taken to Greece, Egypt, Europe, South America, etc. or cuddle sessions where we all were together at my mom's bedroom to watch a favorite TV show or novella or serious moments of deep talks about serious subjects together as my mom gave us foot rubs, etc.
As I ran through these memories on each of them I decided that I wanted to set a goal to come home and start keeping a notebook for each of those memories, one for my husband, and one for myself where I can write down those special moments and what they meant to me and how and why they stood out to me. I want to write them down while we are all still alive. And I want to keep writing new ones down as they happen so I can make sure I am always making time with our family to create memories together.
I never would have thought to do that if my sister had not told me about another funeral she went where no one attended, very different from brother Peña’s funeral, At this funeral of a friend’s uncle, she could count people who came with her fingers. I think that experience really caused me to reflect on how much we take for granted about the time spend and experiences we make with our families because those memories and the things we are learning in this life is all we’ll take with us when we are gone. A friend once told me:
“Think about this for a moment. As you get older you’ll realize that a $3,000 watch and a $30 watch both tell the same time.
A Hermes wallet and a Target wallet holds the same amount of money.
A 900,000 house in Bountiful and a 150,000 Condo in Orlando hosts the same loneliness.
A Toyota will also drive you as far as a Bentley.
True happiness is not found in materialistic things. It comes from the love and laughter found with each other. Stay humble… the hole dug for us in the ground are all the same size.”
The fact is that we never know how much time we will have with our families before someone passes away, and when that happens we won’t want to have wasted a single precious moment we could have had with them. No job, or money, or material thing, or television show, or video game, or social media outlets, or traveling the world or whatever time fillers come into our day will ever have been worth sacrificing one moment of quality time we could spend creating memories and having memorable moments with our families. Nothing!
I hope all of you have an amazing week this week and make tons of memories with your loved ones. Andres, Jami and kids are on their way to Uruguay at the end of the month. How Lucky for them! Say hello to abuela Nela and family from us.
Con amor,
Vero
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