Friday, June 4, 2021

What makes a happy marriage?

Today we invited Elder Benjamin De Hoyos and his family to dinner. It was their anniversary. When I gave them their gift and served the carrot cake, I asked what kind of a cake did they have on their wedding? They did not have a cake! They commented how they didn’t have a reception. They decided to get married right away within a week and today they were celebrating 46 years as husband and wife. Amazing! Their secret to a long happy life is to support each other. They are such a great example. The following are other examples of advice for a happy marriage. 


On October 7, 1948, President Thomas S. Monson looked across an altar in a sealing room in the Salt Lake Temple at Frances Beverly Johnson, the woman who became his eternal companion and earthly companion for nearly 65 years. During the marriage ceremony, the sealer, Benjamin Bowring, told the newlywed couple:

“May I offer you newlyweds a formula which will ensure that any disagreement you may have will last no longer than one day? Every night kneel by the side of your bed. One night, Brother Monson, you offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. The next night you, Sister Monson, offer the prayer, aloud, on bended knee. I can then assure you that any misunderstanding that develops during the day will vanish as you pray. You simply can’t pray together and retain any but the best of feelings toward one another” ("Strengthening Marriages through Faith and Prayer," Marriage and Family Relations Instructor’s Manual, (2000), 27–30). 

Since that time, President Monson shared powerful marriage advice with members around the world that can help us strengthen our own relationships. Here are just a few memorable marriage tips:

"Choose a companion carefully and prayerfully; and when you are married, be fiercely loyal one to another. Priceless advice comes from a small framed plaque I once saw in the home of an uncle and aunt. It read, 'Choose your love; love your choice.' There is great wisdom in those few words. Commitment in marriage is absolutely essential.

"Your wife is your equal. In marriage neither partner is superior nor inferior to the other. You walk side by side as a son and a daughter of God. She is not to be demeaned or insulted but should be respected and loved. . . .

"President Howard W. Hunter said this about marriage: 'Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.' I like that. 'The conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success'" ("Priesthood Power"). 

 

"Family prayer is the greatest deterrent to sin, and hence the most beneficent provider of joy and happiness. The old saying is yet true: 'The family that prays together stays together.'

"'It is not possible for a married couple to reach happiness with eyes fixed on different stars; … they must set up a single ideal and work toward [it]. … Cease cherishing impossible fancies of impossible futures. Take the best of [your] dreams and fit them to life as it comes every day' (Temple Bailey, “The Bride Who Makes Her Dreams Come True,” in Ladies’ Home Journal, 1912.)" ("Hallmarks of a Happy Home").

 

"There is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions" ("Priesthood Power").

 

"Brethren, let’s treat our wives with dignity and with respect. They’re our eternal companions. Sisters, honor your husbands. They need to hear a good word. They need a friendly smile. They need a warm expression of true love" ("Abundantly Blessed").

 

I love it when couples like De Hoyos make it against all odds. Good for them! 

 

Con amor,

Vero

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