Saying thank you

This week is getting the house in order week. I have to put everything away from my last trip to Uruguay and whatever things I got for Christmas and my birthday but before I do, I need to write thank notes to everyone who gave me something or I will forget who gave me what. it won't be  hard since the list is short:


From our neighbors:
 Nancy, my visiting teacher brought me a Christmas ornament and Joleen made some fudge.
Jayne brought us a jar with candy.
Elaine made her traditional chocolates.
Cindi gave me a dollie for Christmas and a scarf for my birthday.
Dina made some pasta frola and a carved wooden box with my name on it for my birthday.
Martha brought me some flowers for my birthday.
Tami got me a goodie bag with a hand lotion a chocolate bar and her dad's book.
Veronica got me a cosmetic organizer and lipstick for my birthday.
Jill gave me  a pair of earing for my birthday.


from our children:
Jami made the family calendar for everyone at my request to keep the tradition going.
Cristi got Daniel a tie and me a beautiful apron plus a year supply of scentsy bars.
Bianca got Daniel and me a airplane pillow and together with Cristi a massage gift certificate.
And that is all folks!!


This last year was a very weird and unusual Christmas. For the first time ever, Daniel didn't get anything for me and I didn't get anything for him either so it works both ways but I didn't like it. We are more thoughtful than that. I am afraid he is becoming too much like me. I have decided that because we have everything we ever need and there is nothing we want, it is so hard to buy for each other plus I have always told Daniel to not worry about getting me gifts, however I hated not getting anything for him. I wraped some random item and gave him a card with a massage lotion saying this is good for a "masajito" how lame is that! I could have gotten him a cubanera shirt and I did go out to the mall to see what they had but found nothing his size that I liked. From  this time on, I  think I will buy his Christmas gift and birthday gift way in advance so this doesn't happen again or at least make something for him with my hands like a scrapbook t make up for that, I will for sure make him a scrapbook for his birthday.


 What is bothersome to me is that I did go out of my way this time to give everyone else something to let them know that we were thinking of them. Is not what you get them is only a sign that you are thinking of them. Not to mention spending over $3,000 on plane tickets that were never used but I guess I expect too much from people. You buy some dumb little thing to their dad not because he cares but because it feels good to know you are appreciated.
As strange as this may sound, I love getting thank you cards. I do it all the time even for a little jar with candy. I also feel guilty because I didn't think of Daniel since I figured, he has ten children so he is going to be getting something from them. Ironically the only gifts Daniel got from the children was from his daughter in law and his step-daughters. When people asked where to send things we give them the Puerto Rico address or Alejandro's because he goes to Miami all the time so is not like they wouldn't know where to send anything but I guess next year I shouldn't worry about gifts anymore.  This is probably a good thing because the Almeidas don't seem to care and that is ok  I don't know what is expected, I don't know what to do each year because every year has been different and when I tried suggesting a gift exchange the way some families do it, they thought it was weird.


At times I wished nothing had changed for them and that their family had remained intact. That would have been perfect! I wonder sometimes if they would be the same if their mother was still married to their father. What I see is that they are all happy they give to whomever they want  and choose to give and they don't do it out of obligation. I know in my hear they love their father. Gifts has nothing to do with their love for him which is what matters in the end. Gift giving is a cultural thing and some people like my family loves to give gifts. My mother even wraps gifts for people from her, Vanessa, Mari and from me even  when she visits El Salvador. I told her not to do that because I want to be the one bringing the gifts but she does it anyway. It makes her happy and I think that is the key. Do it if it makes you happy!!
I think they are probably right and I am wrong. No one has to feel like doing anything out of obligation. The lesson I learned from this experience is that  when you do something out of obligation is when you get disappointed when they don't reciprocate. I am writing this post because I have started a new rule. No whining! so I can't say anything to anyone about how I feel. This is the only thing I can do that feels therapeutic.  I get to write my feelings in hopes that this works. Thanks for listening.