Friends forever

Today I took Nuria Martinez to Church because both of our husbands are in meetings with the Area Seventies. At Church as I sat by Nuria I noticed how she writes on her tablet the things that are said in Church. What a great idea! I didn't write anything down but I wished I did because all three talks were great! Sister Smart spoke of an experience she had with a close friend who she had shared many hours together since the College years but had some disagreements and fallen apart.  She told us how we sometimes are too proud and don't repent of the things we do wrong. She had made up with her friend and even though things are not the same as ten years ago when they went to school together, she is at peace that she took the lead and forgave her. That brought to mind this quote:


“Good friends care for each other…close friends understand each other, but TRUE FRIENDS stay forever…beyond words, beyond distance, beyond time…!”

Many of us have friends in our lives over the years. Some friends we make as children and then lose contact as we grow older. Other friends we make as adults and stay in touch with as long as we are in close proximity to and it is convenient to keep in touch but then over time one moves away or busy schedules slowly pull us apart and we start to lose touch.  Those friendships fall into the “good friends” or “close friends” as the opening quote cites. But then there is that last group of friends – those we call true friends – they are those we have a mutual caring about, and we understand each other’s hearts, and where bonds are formed between us that span any distance in proximity and where the bonds run so deep that no amount of time apart or lack of words will change the way we feel about that friend. These are our true friends, and when one comes into your life cherish it!

My husband's family moved often so Daniel  was constantly making new friends each place he moved. Often the contact was lost with friends in past locations, although his memories of them were treasured. I meet people all the time that knew him in Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Uruguay or the US and now we are making new friends in the Dominican Republic. I only moved once to Tucson and can't remember anyone I met there.  As an adult it is often harder to find the time to form those deep friendships outside your immediate family members because we are all trying to juggle a million balls in the air with work and church and service and community all while trying to give our greatest attention to our own children, grandchildren and our spouse where it rightfully belongs. I remember how difficult it was and how guilty I felt trying to make new friendships when I felt all alone as a single mom. Especially when my divorce was in limbo, not finalized. I admire women in that predicament because playing the role of two parents by yourself while also being the sole support of your family is overwhelming to say the least. When my separation happened, my father had just passed away so I used up all my inheritance to cover for all of our expenses for the those years while our divorce was pending.

But even during those challenging years there were individuals during that time who came into my life that I consider my truest of friends. They are individuals who saw me through tough times and who always saw the best in me despite any of my shortcomings. They picked me up at times I was down. They stood by me when I felt alone. They taught me things about life and about myself with patience and understanding. They lifted my daughter Mandy spirit and made her laugh when they were going through tough times of their own. They forgave at times when I was grumpy or obstinate. They loved me without judgment and without expectations. They gave me hugs, even at times that I may not have deserved one.  These true friends were individuals who were there for me…maybe not always in person or in word every time, but always in heart…and knowing that, helped me through incredible challenges throughout. I even  had people I hadn't know that well like Carlos Merino come  all the way from the other side of town to work on my  yard and even take out the garbage in the snow. He always had a funny story to tell me that made me smile.

True friends just do that – they help us grow and change for the better.  They support us in good times and bad. They can make us laugh when all we want to do is cry. And no matter how far apart time and distance may cause us to grow from one another, and even if death takes one of them from this world to the next, we always have the comfort of knowing that these true friends are still there for us, even if only in spirit, cheering us on and wishing us the best, because that is what true friends do for each other.

“A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation, doesn’t always need togetherness as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part…”

When someone is genuinely your true friend they leave an impression on your heart that will never go away, not with time and not with distance. True friends secure a place in your heart forever. I remember after 35 years seeing Antonio Huezo, Rafael Siman and Roberto Cea again and it felt like time had not passed. I care the same about them and their family the same way I did in 1976 when we used to go out with a bunch of other friends. I also remember Gabriel Vides who the "guerrilleros" killed. I sometimes wished he had left El Salvador. He didn't deserve to die so young. The same goes to Lily Cea Colgate, the kindest woman anyone could ever meet who has also continue to the next life due to cancer. I am forever grateful for the true friends in my life, both those who are alive and those few who have passed on. “In life you will realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you. But most importantly…some will bring out the best in you.” my hope is that all of us will be those kinds of  friends who bring out the best in each other. Thanks for so many of you for being my true friends!