Someone was there to Console me

It was a quiet Saturday morning in October when my friend Mary and her mother Ramona came to visit. We were laughing and just having a good time when all of the sudden we heard the door bell ring. Mindy, my teenage daughter goes and answers the door and yells: "Mom it's for you!” When I heard that, my heart stopped for fear of what it was…  

For so many days I had not been answering the door if I was not expecting anyone because I was afraid I would be getting served. (Brent had moved out of the house one months earlier.) I went to the door and signed the dotted line acknowledging that I had received the divorce papers and saw for the first time in black and white my now ex-husband’s last name Vs. mine. (Vanderloo Vs. Vanderloo) I never had imagined we would get to this point of actually becoming one against each other like opposing teams in a game or a boxing match.

 Brent and I were perfect for each other because we loved doing the same things. We never had argued or had any big disagreements. We were a solid match in the important things that mattered the most of which was our deep devotion to our Mormon faith and our love for home and family. For decades we belong together, we were part of the same team wanting the same things, we had no secrets as we were one and I even thought we were happy.

 Under the best of circumstances, I always have been slow to react, slow to respond but that morning I was speechless, numb and in shock even when I knew the inevitable would happen eventually. It was a matter of time. I carried those papers back into the kitchen where my friends were and after a few moments of awkwardness I had to tell them the truth, (no more pretending that we were still a perfect family.) I said: This is it. It's over! I showed them the divorce papers. As we all stared at those papers we cried together forming a circle by holding each other in a group hug.

Now looking back I think, they were heaven sent! I don't know why Mary and Ramona were there? What made them come over to visit me at that precise moment? They never had come over spontaneously like that before.  If they came it was for a dinner invitation or some other event or party but the fact that my best friend Mary was there, someone I love dearly (as if she was my own sister) and was there to hold my hand to give a little moral support was a tender mercy!

Introduction to my book

Introduction:

Over the years I have learned that nothing happens by chance. We have been given opportunities to act and be acted upon but it takes courage to act on those promptings and also to recognize the hand of the Lord at pivotal times when we most need someone. 

My book is about a woman by the name of Victoria Vanderloo who was at a very low point in her life but fortunately found a cause that she believed in. Victoria wanted to help someone else who was desperate so she wouldn't have to think too much about her own precarious situation and by doing so, she discovered a secret of how to manage anxiety, loss, anger, hate, and every negative emotions the adversary wants you to feel to bring you down.

There are so many inspirational quotes and poems and stories that I will share as I have stumble across from time to time from people who were inspired to write them. I will share stories of people I have met of all walks of life who helped me cope with my anxiety and sadness at a time I found myself at the end of my rope.  I became more patient, kind and humble to name a few. It's in those moments when we become better people and it's in those moments when we grow.

That is the overall purpose of my book. To give women like me some hope. To learn to be in tune with the spirit and the ministering of angels who are providing us with incredible tender mercies. This story is based on true a story. My Story!

How bad do you want it?

Starting this year I decided that this was going to be the year where I would have done at least three things: get in shape, read the Book of Mormon with a theme in mind. (This theme is going to be related to the story I want to write.) Write the novel. But it is almost the end of March and I haven't done much of any of those three things.

It's amazing how life can get so busy that we  find ourselves simply going through the motions every day of doing the million of things that seem to be urgent to get done, and ofter times we don't even stop to evaluate if the things we are spending our time on are taking us in the direction toward accomplishing our goals. It's always a go, go, and endless lists and tasks and endless unread emails. I have 25,000 of those if you can imagine that! To the to do list, add organizing all papers we have collected over the years and cleaning our home, grocery shopping, cook, laundry, and the list goes on. There is no end to the stuff we do every day and to top it all, we are moving which adds another stressor.  Does that sound familiar?

I realized this week that is getting to the end of the first trimester of the year and my goal to lose at least ten to twelve pounds by now is unrealistic but I must do something before this month ends so I asked Daniel to begin our cleansing this week. We started yesterday,  it has only been one day but it works. I lost one pound. Yay! I will post again in two weeks to record my progress.

Con amor,
Vero