Love is in the Air

I can’t believe it’s almost VALENTINES!!!

Today we had a fun Family Home Evening with the senior Missionary couples. We all sent pictures of our wedding day to guess who was who and then we played the Newly Wed Game. I’ve learned that my definition of love changes and develops every single day.  Nine years ago, when Daniel and I were dating, love was when he would surprise me with flowers, or take me out on a fun date. Love was when he would put time and effort into planning our time together. Whether we went to a play, movie or eat at a nice restaurant or to visit with friends and family. Love was when he verbally told me he loved me. Love was all the big things.

Now that we have been married for nine years I see love very differently. Love is when he makes conscious efforts to change his lifetime of habitual routines (i.e. Eating more salads and vegetables because I am not a meat eater like him. Love is washing the dishes after dinner. Love is putting a load of wash and folding the dry clothes so neatly like only Daniel can. Love is helping make our bed every single morning. Love is taking the garbage out etc.  Love is when he thinks twice and waits until he gets home to plan our next vacation because he knows I’ll want the final say on where we should go. Love is when he wakes up early to fix breakfast because he knows I need a break from cooking.  Love is when he has the courage to tell me if I’m in the wrong, and gently reminds me to apologize to others. Love is when he lets me rant about my problems and just listens rather than trying to fix them.

Granted, we’ve only been married for 9 years, not 39 like most of our peers but for some love comes later in life and for some does not even come at all in this life. I say this because I have dear friends my age who are still single so I don’t take for granted the miracle of finding each other. The point I am trying to make is that love is a verb and only time will tell if you really loved someone and vise- versa.

The definition of love can never be fully understood at one moment in time…the definition of love grows through a lifetime of moments, experiences, trials, failures, and successes.  And its only after we’ve experienced those things we will know if we passed the test of time. Bottom line, loving someone simple means you would want to grow old together and when you or your spouse dies, you know that you will wait for each other on the other side of the vail. 

One person that comes to mind of someone who truly loved his wife so much was Elder Scott. He was in my old Mount Olympus 4^thward and often spoke in Church. He was so close to his wife even after years as a widower. On one of his talks to the young single adults he said: “In a potential spouse we should look for essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home.” I think that each one of those missionary couples who were there today definitely made a good choice back then. One couple in the room got married in 1962 and their marriage is as strong as ever! They asked the couples there: “How long has it been since you have taken the time to look at your Love, with love in your eyes and then have given them the most sweetly intense and passionate kiss? You don't have to answer here. I just wanted to inspire some of you.

I know that I have only scratched the very surface of the definition of love, and there is only more to come with time. When Bianca was newly-married, she took a marriage class. She was only 21 at the time and still remembers when the teacher took a big black marker and wrote: “Service + sacrifice = Love” I believe that to be true. I’m grateful for a husband who constantly teaches me what love is, and who loves me enough to support me in all my crazy life endeavors. 

I am grateful for my amazing family that keeps growing! I love you all with all my heart and wish you all much happiness. Whether it’s from a spouse, sibling, friend, or parent, try to learn and grow your definition of love just a little bit more each day. Remember the equation: service + sacrifice = Love. Once again, Daniel is willing to sacrifice this coming Saturday to take me dancing only because he knows how much I love to dance. Conversely, I am willing to watch an action movie with him. 

With all my love,

Vero