Loving my body for what it is!
For as long as I can remember I have experienced being self-conscious
with my body. I hated that my body held onto weight. I hated that I wanted to
look amazing but I never did. I hated that I could never wear a swimming suit
that didn’t show my spare tire or feel fabulous wearing lingerie. I hated
getting ready to go out. I hated going to family functions. I hated always
feeling so much judgement. I hated myself for the way I looked but if wasn’t
enough because I never did anything about it, not even when I knew that the
reason why my first husband left me was that he no longer was attracted to me.
My marriage with him ended because I was fat. Yes, that is exactly what
happened and if your husband doesn’t really love you the way you are, well, you
got a problem!
My body and I would be frightened, exhausted, nervous,
scared, anxious, sad, lonely, withdrawn and we would always be in fight or
flight! This is what I was doing with my body every
day. I would not allow my body to experience happiness! I would fall into the
trap of…when I look like this I will allow myself to be happy. When I can wear
a bikini and look unbelievable then and only then will I allow my body to feel
worthy of love. When I can wear anything I want and feel amazing in it, then I
will allow my body to feel all the passion, pleasure and playfulness she so
deserves. When I prove to myself that I am good enough and I to have a rock
solid body, I will finally arrive. Everyone will love me!
Well, all these mean
stories that I was telling myself everyday just made me shut down even more.
Imagine if someone followed you around every day telling you how awful you
look, how worthless you are and how no one will ever fully love you. There is
no way that you could ever feel happy, except I do have someone in my life that truly loves me for who I am and even loves my body. He must be blind but they say that love is blind because he thinks I am so beautiful.
So I decided to start
having a conversation with myself. Why was I punishing myself? Why would I not
allow myself to fully love my body? Why was I hiding from the trueness of who I
really am? I am
Wow, did my body
answer. She has forgiven me for the way that I have treated her over the last 50
years of my life. I have over feed her, under nourished her, hated her, loved
her, demanded weight loss from her, pushed her, pulled her and completely
ignored her. She still forgives me.
I now spend time loving
my body. Thanking her. Appreciating her. Supporting her. Hearing her. Today I
Remember, what we
think about we bring about!
So think of how amazing you are. How beautiful you are. How powerful you are. How precious you are. How truly unbelievable you are. You can do this. I have decided to do this. You can release the weight and feel absolutely amazing!
Con amor,
Vero
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