Going away

It is a miracle to think that tomorrow I will be in Utah. My trip is for two weeks. It starts on Wednesday April 27, Liz Ungritch's birthday and 12 year anniversary of my blackest day ever! (when I found the secret US Bank account)  and it ends on Wednesday May 11 but it takes another day to get to Manila so I will be back on May 12th which means I will write back on my blog when I get back on the 13th of May.

Thinking of today, twelve years ago, I will post this quote by President Monson:
" He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face." I am so grateful for His love and the way He helped me weather the storm.

I have to say, I am so thankful for airplanes that can transport you from one end of the word to another. I got a few things I want to do like attend Women's Conference, Mandy's and Spencer graduation, but mostly see my family, Yay! It was not easy to convince my hubby but he accepted in the end. He knows visiting with family is what makes me the most happy but how I do wish he could come with me.

Con amor,
Vero

Gentle hands

Last week The Relief Society activity was to go listen to a woman from Canada tell us about her foundation. Gentle hands, in case any of us would be interested in volunteering. She helps people qualify for foster care while children are waiting to be adopted. Her name is Charity Graff, her father was a pastor here in the Philippines so she grew up here and now she decided to do the same as her parents.  She told us story after story of how much help is needed to rescue children in the Philippines.

She basically sold everything she and her husband Evan had to start an educational  foundation for street boys in 2000. In 2003 they got registered under the department of Social Welfare and Development to rescue children in crisis who are being abandoned or abused so that they could be adopted locally or internationally.  She takes all ages even before they give birth. One girl age 12 came to her door pregnant who had been raped. She gave birth but the baby didn't survived. They cremated the body so Charity helped her in every step of the way.

Another child was rescued from the worst conditions possible. He didn't have a nose because it was bitten by rats. He had a few surgeries done and he is ready to be adopted in a week. Another nine year old girl came to her door because she was being raped by her father and even though she explains, "I had no room for her, how do you say no?"

This is why she is asking for foster parents to take on a child while he or she is adopted. Last year 15 children were adopted to good families. The process takes about a year. You need to check out www.gentlehands.org if you want to learn more. They actually have a staff of about 30 + paid and volunteer professionals that help with therapy for these soul wounded orphans. She is constantly dealing with therapeutic sessions for those children. She even gave us all a little of therapy because someone said" But what if I get too attached to these children and have to send them away." She smiled and said: " You get over it"

The good news is that the wives of the Area Presidency were in that meeting so they immediately arranged for the Humanitarian director to look into Gentle Hands as an NGO so now the Church is donating Thousands upon thousands of food, medicine, and many materials that they may need to sustain Gentle Hands.

Daniel receives applications like this daily and when he told me about this new one I said: Could it be gentle hands? He checked and it was. I am so proud of all the efforts the Church does all over the world in cases like this. Every dollar sent to the humanitarian services goes directly to those who mostly need them. In this case, Charity Graff didn't even ask. We were just there, learning about her NGO and immediately, the money has been approved. It only took two days!

I feel so grateful and overwhelmed for all the good the Church does each and every day!

My testimony

Today at the Area Council meeting I was asked to share my testimony. I only took two minutes or even less. I simply told them how I felt. How my testimony is the one thing I value the most over anything in my life. How I gained it and how I try to keep it. What is so neat about sharing your testimony at a setting like that is that all those people in that room feel the same way. There are no disagreements there. We are all part of the same team. No one there will find it offensive or weird.

 I heard my Bishop once explained at a testimony meetings saying; "Always share what you believe in! " He expressed that everyone should feel comfortable sharing their beliefs, even in a work setting, so long as it is done in a respectful way that doesn’t infringe on anyone else’s rights to believe what they believe. 

For me, It is important that all my friends know that I believe in God. That I also believe in HIs son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost to guide me. Therefore I am a Christian. That I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The same Church Jesus established in his time with the same organization of 12 Apostles, Seventies, Bishops, etc.  And the choices I make every day come from the rooted core values that I believed in as a disciple of Christ. 

I loved learning about other people’s beliefs and religions. I find it fascinating and I love to recognize the similarities between the differing religions as it becomes very clear that many religions stemmed from the same initial roots that branched out into differing versions that changed with time and customs of their own lands.

Perhaps my interest stemmed from having a mother who always believed in Jesus and love learning about Him and the teachings found in the Bible. 

There are common threads amongst all of us to be found when we share and listen with an open heart and a desire to learn from one another.  I believe that religion should always be a positive influence that promotes acceptance and love and brings people together.  It makes me sad to see how some people (typically those out for selfish purposes masked by religion) have twisted religion around to use it as a negative tool to try and break people apart or drive wedges between them. That is never okay

Always be willing to learn the beliefs of others. Whether you agree or disagree, you will both come away having a better understanding of one another and you will be a wiser person for having opened your heart.

Con amor,
Vero

The Manila Aquarium

Three missionary couples and I went to the Manila Aquarium.  I didn't know what to expect since I thought it was all inside so I was dressed in pants and a long sleeve shirt. What a mistake! It was mostly outdoors and very hot!! I had a hanky to clean my face covered with my makeup running down with big drops of sweat. If there is one thing I hate is sweating. Not the ideal outing for me, but somehow I managed to stay cool by drinking a lot of liquids.

The Aquarium has a few good attractions like all aquariums do but this one at 6:30 p.m. puts on a light show mixed with water and fire. It was good. One thing I noticed is that the Aquarium is right on the ocean. They have a hotel by the name of H2O and a lot of shops and eating establishments within the aquarium. You can literary spend all day there. We came around three and left at seven after the light show but we could have come in at ten when it opened. I always keep thinking of my grandkids and how much they would have enjoyed the animals there.

What is interesting to me is the advertisement they have is amazing but when you are there, you realized how unkept and dated this place is and how no one really takes good care of the facilities. Pretty sad but that was the impression I got. The bird show and the sea lions show was a little overrated. Nothing spectacular. (I guess I am used to the animal shows on Sea World so I am a little spoil. ) Daniel couldn't come with me and probably that was the other thing that made this outing not as fun. I don't have to be entertained too much as long as I am with Daniel. I guess all my complaining has to do mostly because Daniel was not with me but to think of it, it was probably one of those things he would have not enjoyed too much either because the sun was unbearable and he gets burn easily.

In the mood for a move!

Today I am in the moving mood which means that in about two months we are going to move from our home that we had for the past six months to an apartment. Glenna who cleans my home keeps reminding me that the apartment is much smaller. I know it has the same square footage as the home we are in now but it doesn't have as much closet space like our home we are now on Penelope Lane.

I got my clothes spread over three four closets. And my makeup n other personals all spread as well in various rooms. I got a large closet for all my scrapbooking too. The kitchen is also very spacious. So my goal is to organize our things before we move. I love keeping stuff and collecting things but I am not a hardener like those people you see on TV. Thank goodness there are worse people than me, but I can't throw anything away. However I  don't want to waste time and energy in taking things from this home that  will eventually end up in the garbage.

I made the big mistake of not looking through papers when I moved from Bountiful to the DR and many boxes were thrown away that had important papers like the Los planes title papers and some special gifts like the one colon bill I got from 100 years ago and stuff. What I love about this time in my life when I don't have little ones messing up things or being too busy with the countless of schedule commitments is that I can keep my home clean and organized always! I throw things away that are not important to keep because if something is important enough to keep than I filed it away or I organize it in a plastic bin and I label it so that everything in your house has a place. If something is worn out, throw it away. I hate to have to trow away some shoes I got in Japan so I might give those to tia Mila so a shoemaker can make a pair just like that. I wonder if I can find a shoemaker here in the Philippines because i really love those shoes but they are getting worn out.

I also need to start throwing away any papers I don't need. The idea is to find a place for everything. That is the trick to being organized. I woke up today feeling very up beat and wanting to clean, clean, clean. I love it when I'm in the mood!

Con amor,

Vero

Ladies luncheon

Today was the monthly latin ladies luncheon at the home of Jackie Olney, a woman from Bolivia. She is also the person in charge of the cooking class and I am going to be part of her group because I think the group could benefit in making a cookbook to sell to their members. 

That should be a fun activity to be involved in but the question is, should this be in English or Spanish? if it's done in Spanish it would just be a collection of recipes for members only to buy for their families. If it's done in English like Silvia's Book (An Expat guide to living in Manila) it is for anyone who knows English to be able to buy. Or it can be done in both languages. That I think will have to be decided when the times comes. 

 I met Estefanie Duenas from El Salvador, she has been here for eight years. Her husband works in the Asian Bank. They have a 15 month old baby girl.  Her mother is from Germany, her father is from El Salvador and she is married to a fellow from Italy. She grew up in El Salvador but the parents have divorced so the only ties she has to El Salvador is her father who still lives there. She was coming in as we were entering the home too and when she told me she was from El Salvador I couldn't believe what a great coincidence that was. She seemed very nice. There are a few other women there from Honduras, Guatemala and Costa Rica that usually come to this. There is a girl in our ward from Honduras that sometimes comes.

Most of the women in this group have young children.  I would say the average is about 40. this would be a perfect group for my little sisters. Mari or Vanessa. Two things I don't relate all that much is that I don't have kids at home and I don't enjoy drinking like they do. Next time I would like to know anyone there who is an empty nester like me. 

The food as always was wonderful and plenty of it so no diet for me today. I invited Silvia from our ward who is new here from Uruguay and married to a Chilean so it turned out to be a fun activity for both of us after all. 

Tuesday's Devotional

Today I went to a devotional of a missionary couple that have been serving in the Philippines. Every Tuesday there is a devotional at the office at 8:00 a.m. but for some reason they were not having the missionary couples participate but Daniel changed it and now before they get to go home, we get to listen to them. Here is a poem they shared with us from President Packer: 

THE THINGS I KNOW

I had a thought the other night,

A thought profound and deep.

It came when I was too worn down,

Too tired to go to sleep.

 

I’d had a very busy day

And pondered on my fate.

The thought was this:

When I was young, I wasn’t 68!

 

I could walk without a limp;

I had no shoulder pain.

I could read a line through twice

And quote it back again.

 

I could work for endless hours

And hardly stop to breathe.

And things that now I cannot do

I mastered then with ease.

 

If I could now turn back the years,

If that were mine to choose,

I would not barter age for youth,

I’d have too much to lose.

 

I am quite content to move ahead,

To yield my youth, however grand.

The thing I’d lose if I went back

Is what I understand.

 

Ten years later, I decided to add a few more lines to that poem:

 

Ten years have flown to who knows where

And with them much of pain.

A metal hip erased my limp;

I walk quite straight again.

 

Another plate holds neck bones fast—

A wonderful creation!

It backed my polio away;

I’ve joined the stiff-necked generation.

 

The signs of aging can be seen.

Those things will not get better.

The only thing that grows in strength

With me is my forgetter.

 

You ask, “Do I remember you?”

Of course, you’re much the same.

Now don’t go getting all upset

If I can’t recall your name.

 

I would agree I’ve learned some things

I did not want to know,

But age has brought those precious truths

That make the spirit grow.

 

Of all the blessings that have come,

The best thing in my life

Is the companionship and comfort

I get from my dear wife.

 

Our children all have married well,

With families of their own,

With children and grandchildren,

How soon they all have grown.

 

I have not changed my mind one bit

About regaining youth.

We’re meant to age, for with it

Comes a knowledge of the truth.

 

You ask, “What will the future bring?

Just what will be my fate?”

I’ll go along and not complain.

Ask when I’m 88!

 

And last year I added these lines:

 

And now you see I’m 88.

The years have flown so fast.

I walked, I limped, I held a cane,

And now I ride at last.

 

I take a nap now and again,

But priesthood power remains.

For all the physical things I lack

There are great spiritual gains.

 

I have traveled the world a million miles

And another million too.

And with the help of satellites,

My journeys are not through.

 

I now can say with all certainty

That I know and love the Lord.

I can testify with them of old

As I preach His holy word.

 

I know what He felt in Gethsemane

Is too much to comprehend.

I know He did it all for us;

We have no greater Friend.

 

I know that He will come anew

With power and in glory.

I know I will see Him once again

At the end of my life’s story.

 

I’ll kneel before His wounded feet;

I’ll feel His Spirit glow.

My whispering, quivering voice will say,

“My Lord, my God, I know.”

                                                   

         

 

I love the life lessons we can take away from his poem.  It reminds me to be grateful for the years of wisdom I have gained.  It reminds me that all the book learning and life experience cannot take the place of spiritual learning that we gain by exercising faith in our believes.  It also helps remind me that every day of my life I should be growing closer to God by living my life in a way I know that He would be proud of.   I believe that trying to live our lives like that, is the best way to help each of us get to the point where we can say “I know” for ourselves.

Con amor,

Vero

 

What it means to be a citizen

I found my CERTIFICATE OF NATURALIZATION  the other day and as I looked at the photo in that certificate, I see a woman that had up to that point only good fortune. I was young and beautiful. My skin was soft and I was thin. At age 27,  I was happily married with two beautiful daughters. Cristi was six and Bianca was almost two. I had a cute home on 2958 Metropolitan Way in Salt Lake City (Prestigious East side area) and I worked so hard at the shop. It was right before our move to Tucson Arizona. The world was no innocent back then and sometimes I wish I could go back in time.

Today the world is very confused and chaotic. I've been thinking about this wonderful country, I am a citizen of, The United States of America and how it has changed. Many people like me moved to this country with nothing but what they had on their backpack and perhaps not even that. They came to the U. S because honestly it is the greatest country in the entire world the only place you can make your big dreams come true.

When I heard of the Republican platform, it was a breath of fresh air compared to the socialist men who are now running or I should say destroying what is left of my country. I don't believe in handouts and taxing people to death. I believe in becoming self- reliant. I believe in Free enterprise getting the government off your back, lowering taxes and strengthening the military. I believe in the life of the unborn child that no one is there to protect his rights. But on the other hand, I believe in taking care of our climate and I am peaceful. I hate guns and I think this country is getting too violent of people who should never be allow to cary a gun.

So you see, I am neither a Democrat or Republican. I am a thinker! However, I think too much irrevocable damage has been done already that no Republican or Democrat could ever fix the deep weakness and economic devastation and the terrorist scars left by one attack after another and not to mention the family. Why on earth have we gotten to the point that we don't even know what a family looks like anymore? A family is ordained of God. How on earth do we not understand our divine nature? We were made in His image? There is clearly a male and female as the only two options. There was never an "other. " I long for that time in my life when things were so simple and not so confusing. I can only say, that the only way I can stay sane is to not listen to the noise the world yells at us constantly but to the still small voice which only speaks truth.

Con amor,
Vero

Sunday dinner

I have been forgetting how fun it feels to have people over for dinner. We cooked for an army like always but it was all so yummy. Daniel made some choripanes and his famous rice and I made pico de gallo, cole slaw, fruit salad, avocado salad and 7 layer salad. I even made some homemade lemonade with mint. We had some brazo gitano that I bought a S & R (Costco) and it was great!

There is a group of people in town from Salt Lake that are doing a review of the operations in our beehive clothing factory.  Three of them are from Guatemala, Honduras and El salvador so I felt right at home.

At our Sunday dinner conversation, I found out that a good friend of ours, Carlos Merino, is ill. He has some kind of tumor and is dying. I will go see him next time I am in town. He was one of those ministering angels that came out of no where to help me out on my darkest days. I can't believe how much his health has deteriorated in only a few years. Even three years ago, we were planning Mandy's wedding  and he was fine.

Today also marks the Anniversary of when I became a U. S. citizen almost 30 years ago, on April 17th 1987.  I remember that day like it was yesterday. If I had petition for my only sister Vanessa who is not a U. S. citizen, back then when she was still single, she would be a citizen by now but that what happens when you procrastinate or maybe there was a good reason why we never thought about getting it done.

Con amor,
Vero

It's a dog's life

Yesterday, I called Brooks to wish him a happy birthday but got word that their 9 year old Guapo was dying. He had a tumor and was getting worse.  He won't be with them much longer. He's been with Cristi and Brooks even before they had kids. almost all through their marriage and he's been part of that family longer than the children. Saying goodbye is hard to do. 

When I woke up this morning, this is what i saw Cristi posted on Facebook:

Today we had to say goodbye to our 9-year-old dog, El Guapo, who suddenly became ill and was battling a very large and aggressive tumor on his spleen. Oh how difficult this heartbreak 💔 has been for each one of us and additionally more difficult watching @photosbynixon grieve over the loss of one of his best friends. He remained by his side throughout the entire process- even sleeping on the couch to be closer to him last night. Guapo could see how upset we all were today during his final moments and went up to Nixon and leaned into him as to say good bye for the last time. This photo was taken shortly after Guapo passed. 

"Dogs have a way finding the people who need them and filling a space they didn't know they had." ‪#‎truth‬ Our family had to say good bye to our furry family member over the weekend... And I sure wasn't prepared for the void we have felt with him being gone.

Out of reach

Today I came back from an adventure. I went with a widow, Linda Camilleri  (Terah Bromley's mother) to a resort out of no where.  we were there from Wednesday April 13 to Friday April 15th. I actually didn't now anything about where we were going but I trusted that Linda and I would be just fine. She was inviting Jeana Hill and Caroline Taylor but they couldn't come. Jeana was going to travel to South Africa where she is moving and Caroline is busy.

The only problem is that I had no service so for two and a half days I couldn't call anyone or email or see anything because there was no radio or TV to watch. For almost three days I was not aware of anything going on on this world. I was out of touch with the cares of this world. Amazing! Daniel was a little worried but somehow he got word that I was just fine. Apparently Linda did have service so it was my phone the problem.

For those three days I went for walks on the beach and read books lying on a hummock and ate delicious fish. We went out to see the fishermen pulled a big net one morning and saw how they all divide up the fish each time they go out. Sometimes they don't go if the water is too rough.

The place where we stayed was not a five star hotel but the owner was very nice and treated us very well. She cooked every meal and gave us the best she had. I would like to come back someday but with Daniel. I don't enjoy this kind of trips without him.

what I got out of this experience is that we don't need too much to be happy.

ladies day out

Every month I like to go shopping to something they call the Bazzar where American ladies sell things to other ladies, mostly ex-pats. The things in there a made by hand and beautiful at a reasonable price. Nothing there is cheap but all is good quality.

Jeana, Caroline, Linda and I went. It was so fun! Later we went to the temple. I love going to the temple with friends. I don't mind going by myself but it's so much nicer go with someone. Actually any activity is much better when you do it with someone else.

After we came home and had soup. I waited for Daniel and packed to go to the beach the next morning. We had to get up at 3:30 to leave by 4:00 am so I went with Linda to stay with her overnight. Linda is a very warm lady who has invited someone she does not know at all but we have become life long friends in one day.

"When You encounter someone you were detained to meet the conversation will take flight as if it were on the wings of angels, complete stranger confiding in each other as if you were lifelong friends." Kevin Hall

Have you ever had the experience of meeting someone for the first time but having that feeling that you already knew them? There is an instant connection and an immediate comfort a if you have now them al your life. You feel totally at easy sharing things with them because there is that sense of ours and familiarity. There is a mutual respect and admiration for one another and the bond of friendship comes instantly without any effort at all. These are kindred spirits. And meeting kindred spirits is one of life's great joys.

I don't think we meet kindred spirits by chance. I personally thing that those are people we meet were finds that we know in the spirt prior to coming to this world.  I believe why we feel that instant connection. My life has been blessed many times by people I meet who were there for a reason and this is how I feel about Mary, Caroline and Jeana.

Con amor,
Vero

When it rains, it pours

Hello family:

People in the Philippines are used to catastrophic events and destruction. Whether it is a Typhoon, Volcano, Sunami, Earthquake, terrorism, fire or accident. These sort of things happens way too often all over the world but here it happens to people you know.

Last month Daniel told me of an employee who lost everything due to a fire in the building where he and his family lived.  It’s amazing how in one instant a home can be completely destroyed and family belongings can be turn into ashes. Special things that they may have worked years to purchase are gone just like that. And one has to ponder how much that person had to sacrifice of their life in order to accumulate those things.

The fire happened on Sunday when he and his family were at church, and damaged literally all of his material possessions they had accumulated over the years so people from work were collecting cash and things to give to them. Daniel emptied his wallet and his closet to give as many articles of clothes to this fellow so he could have something to wear but on the bright side what matters is that they are alive and whatever material things they lost can be replaced.

Over the weekend Daniel got a call from the humanitarian director who was aware of a tragic accident leaving one casualty. It was a member taking nine people on one of those Tricycles they use here in the Philippines (it’s like a motorcycle but with three wheels to add more people.) An SUV hit them.

All are in the hospital injured with head injuries or broken bones or in critical condition in the ICU and sadly one girl age 16, Angeline De los Santos didn’t make it.  They don’t have any resources so the leaders are helping them as much as possible with fast offering donations. The only good thing going for them is that they are members of the Church and the leaders of their ward are taking care of their needs at this time. If this had happened to someone else, they wouldn’t have any support whatsoever. The hospitals here turn you away if you don’t have money to pay.

I can’t even imagine the agony these families have had to endure this past few weeks. They are in our prayers. We have shed tears thinking of their hardships and hope they find comfort in knowing this life is not all there is and that they will see this child, Angeline, once again.

Today all I can think about is the following:

Sit back and consider how we would feel if we knew our life would end today? And how would we feel if we lost everything we had? What would we wished we had done differently and what would we value more?  And once we have thought through those questions we should use our answers to make some adjustments if we need to.  Right now, while we still have the chance to do things differently. We should never live our lives in a way we will regret someday.

Con amor,

Vero

Feeling sorrow

Today when I said my prayer. I felt sorrow for the people who were in the accident and specially for the young woman who died. I thought how could this happened to such nice people?

My husband got a call this morning from the fellow who reports security matters in the Philippines. He told him that a tricycle with nine people in it got hit by an SUV and all are injured and one even died. He told my husband that these people have no resources and that someone has to be responsible for paying all the medical bills. They are members of the Church and were coming back from an activity. All day my husband has been monitoring the situation and sending reports to people in Utah as well. The parents of these kids are very sad and trying to cope with this tragedy. The leaders have come to their aid too with the money collected from fast offering. Which brings me to the next point. Be generous with your fast offerings. It is the money strictly used to help the poor.

We decided last month to pay our fast offering and tithing for the whole year. I was a little hesitant since we are going to be putting a fence in our home in Bountiful but we took the leap of faith and have been blessed ten fold for doing so. I was worried about the apartment in City Creek being vacant and today I got a message that Elder Cook from the Seventy would like to rent it. What a miracle that is to have exactly the kind of person we want in there but that little inconvenience of not having the unit leased out is nothing in comparing with the trials these people are going through.

I feel ashamed that this minute things in my life even bother me. I have learned from this experience that there are a lot more things in life to really worry about. Things of eternal consequences. I hope this family finds comfort and peace in their hearts and that is my prayer.

Con amor,
Veronica

The refiner's fire

When Elder Holland was having dinner last time he visited the Caribbean Area he spoke to us about the refiner's fire or life trials we are face with and how those trials are what makes us be the best we can be.  When we are face with trials it is akin to a refiner's fire.

To understand what this means, you need to visit an actual Silversmith and actually watch  how they refine the silver. First the Silversmith holds each individual piece of silver over the fire to let it heat up. He needs to hold it over the middle of the flame where the flames are the hottest in order to burn away all the impurities. He also has to be extremely careful not to leave the silver over the heat for longer than needed or it would damage it. So he carefully watches and the second the piece was ready, he took it out. That happens when he can see his reflection in it.

I thought about this image because it reminds us that we are held in God's hand and he will only let us stay over the fire for as long as he knows we are capable of handling it and then He is there to pull us out before we are damaged. It also reminds us that He knows the exact amount of "heat" a.k.a trials that will help us to improve and refine our lives. He also knows exactly when we are to the point when we are refined enough to see our reflection of our best selves and that is when He will quickly pull us out.

I would prefer not to have to go through the trials of life and I imagine you feel the same way. They are not fun, they are often difficult and very painful. But the reality is that when we get to be Elder Holland's age and we look back at our lives we will find that it was those trying moments that helped us become our very best selves. So as much as they absolutely a pain to go through, when they come, hang in there and trust that the Master's hand is there to guide you.

This I know to be true because I lived it. Today my life is peaceful, so different than the tumultuous life I used to have about decade ago. People would say to me. " This will pass" but at the time it was hard to comprehend the meaning of that statement. We think we are going to be at  that state forever but no, it does end. I have been thinking about this because I am writing a story about tree guys who I helped get out of jail in El Salvador at a pivotal time in my life. I was going through the refiner's fire the same way they were. They were trapped in jail and I was trapped in a toxic marriage both wanted to be free.

Con amor,
Vero

The 7 Habits for Real Estate

I have been taking inventory of our Real Estate purchases and how much they are worth today and have learned one simple lesson. Why on earth did we sell the home on Metropolitan way or the home on Diana way when we didn't get any money for it. We practically sold them for what we paid and worse considering that we lost $50,000 when we sold the unit in Park City. Why did I get pressured to selling it for such a low price? Today all those properties are worth a half of a million dollars. But live and learn!

 I was looking on line at some condos to buy for Mandy since she needs to move out of where they have been living for the past three years and get into their own place, I came across this post on Facebook that I agree with. 

From an on line source:

One time I had a boss who was obsessed with the book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He’s not alone. The book has 3,176 reviews on Amazon – with 72% being a 5-star rating! As part of a performance improvement program, my boss make me read the book. As such, I went through a personal coaching session where every week we went over a chapter and how it applied to my job. The meetings started at 6:00 a.m. and I actually looked forward to them because I got so much out of this book!

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Aristotle

Hopefully this guide will help you become more profitable in your real estate business.

Let’s get started!

Habit 1: Be Proactive

I want you to be completely realistic when you read this article. How much of your workday yesterday was “reactive” versus “proactive”?

How can you grow and get what you want accomplished if you are spending most of your day in “reactive” mode?

To change this, most would assume that I am going to recommend to set a schedule and stick to it. However, that’s the second part.

The first part is that you need to create a vision statement.

What ultimate goal are you trying to reach?

My vision is this:

To build enough recurring cash-flow and paid-off real estate to travel more, spend more time with family, and to give more to organization and my Church.

Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind

To truly change you need to rescript how you think and act. Additionally, you need to change how you portray yourself to others. You have a vision now, but let’s also put together a mission statement.

One major thing I am working on is a personal mission statement.

This is an example of what could be Vero's personal mission statement:

•    Succeed at home first.

•    Seek and merit divine help.

•    Never compromise with honesty.

•    Remember the people involved.

•    Hear both sides before judging

•    Obtain counsel of others.

•    Defend those who are absent.

•    Be sincere yet decisive.

•    Develop on new proficiency a year.

•    Plan tomorrow’s work today.

•    Hustle while you wait.

•    Maintain a positive attitude.

•    Keep a sense of humor.

•    Be orderly in person and in work.

•    Do not fear mistakes – fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes.

•    Facilitate the success of subordinates.

•    Listen twice as much as you speak.

•    Concentrate all abilities and efforts on the task at hand, not worrying about the next job or promotion.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Things which matter most must next be at the mercy of things which matter least. – Goethe

Habit three is the personal fruit, the practical fulfillment of Habit one and Habit two. The truly devout 7 Habits Cultist use a time management matrix.

Time Management Matrix

	Urgent	Not Urgent
Important	Quadrant 1 •      •    Crisis •      •    Pressing problems •      •    Deadline driven projects •	Quadrant 2 •      •    Relationship building •      •    Finding new opportunities •      •    Long-term planning •      •    Preventive activities •      •    Personal growth •      •    Recreation •
Not Important	Quadrant 3 •      •    Interruptions •      •    Emails, calls, meetings •      •    Popular activities •      •    Proximate, pressing matters •	Quadrant 4 •      •    Trivial, busy work •      •    Time wasters •      •    Some calls and emails •      •    Pleasant activities •

I have seen several of my superiors use it effectively.

Be incredibly self-aware of your most valuable asset: your time.

Importantly, remember that it is daily habits that will help you accomplish your ultimate vision.

You are going to have to really focus on this habit if you are a real estate investor on the side, while managing a full-time job and a family. This is not easy at all. Be incredibly self-aware of your most valuable asset: your time.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Admittedly, I am extremely bad at this habit.

I’m an analytical type and extremely brief and to the point. However, in real estate you have to communicate with various types of people. Specifically, you have to communicate with several different types of communicators than yourselves:

•    Realtors

•    Sellers

•    Buyers

•    Loan Officers

•    Title Companies

•    Tenants

All of these people represent not only different professions, but different values and different communication styles. Even though I am short and to the point, most people prefer and long explanation of why you want something done a certain way.

Think about an upcoming interaction. How are you going to keep a high courage balanced with a high consideration?

Habit 5: Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

This is yet another habit that I am not naturally good at. I am a fast action-taker. As such, I sometime react prematurely to events. It would be a lot better if I had learned to completely understand the other persons point of view first.

My parents constantly repeated the old adage, attributed to Mark Twain:

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you area fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

When attending meetings, I’m amazed at the miscommunication simply how people use words differently.

A lot of people react prematurely and sometimes cause an unnecessary fight.

Always Seek First To Understand.

Instead of reacting to something that immediately tips you off, say:

“Let me make sure I understand, what I’m hearing you say is [ repeat back your version of what you heard ]”

This does 2 things:

1  It obviously makes sure you understand their point of view

2  It gives you a couple of seconds to calm down – if you were about to blow your lid

If you are presenting something, base this off empathy. Make the presentation about not only your audience, but your point of view.

Habit 6: Synergize

It’s virtually impossible to do anything in real estate by yourself.

In transactions I’m involved in as a real estate investor it is typical that the borrower and seller have opposing views. However, it doesn’t have to be like this.

For example,I’m currently trying to purchase some land for both timber and recreational use. This land has been for sale for 3 years and the seller hasn’t had a single offer. It’s already priced well below market. My first offer was to lease the land for a year then purchase it. My goal was to see if I wanted use of the land.

The seller simply responded to my offer with a “no” – he has no interest in leasing the land.

Instead of getting my feelings hurt and forgetting about the deal, I dig-in and question what is the best outcome. I ultimately find out that after 3 years, he just wants to be “done with the property.”

I emphatically ask:

How valuable would it be then if I paid in cash and could close in 7 days?

This forced him to not just view me as an adversary but a helpful business partner.

How are you trying to synergize with people who are currently viewing you as an adversary?

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

This chapter starts with a story about someone who is too busy sawing a tree down, to stop and sharpen it.

Habit seven is really all about yourself. After all, how can you take care of others if you yourself are not ok?

A group of young entrepreneurs gathered on Necker Island and asked Richard Branson,”how do you become more productive?”

How do you become more productive?

He leaned back and thought for a second. Then he said, “Work Out.”

It’s not what you would immediately think of when becoming more productive. However, have you ever regretted taking 30 minutes off of your day to workout? I know I haven’t. I come back a lot more energized and ready to work some more.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself everyday and sharpen the saw!

Summary

I highly encourage all of you to read it with someone older than you, to help mentor you through the principles.

In the summary of the book it has a diagram of: The Upward Spiral

Where you Learn, Commit and Do

You have not learned several habits of the most effective people.

What are you going to commit to?

What are you going to do?

Further Reading: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

About Jimmy Moncrief

Jimmy is a multifamily real estate investor and bank credit officer. He has written a complimentary bank negotiating guide on how to get around the 80% LTV rule which can be found at http://realestatefinancehq.com/