Holy Family Care Center

Today I attended a group discussion with Damas Latinas at the Holy Family care center orphanage. The presenter, Sor Jenny was showing us a power point presentation of the vision and mission of the home which houses about 25 girls in transition from the center back to their homes. 

She made it known various times  that the girls were only there temporarily and that they were free to chose if they wanted to stay or leave. As she was explaining the purpose of the center, I thought of how free agency is at the core of all of what we do. The following thoughts came to mind as I was listening. 

 Every day we make choices. Some are minute. Some are major. I could have chosen not to get out of my home and instead, stay in bed a little longer but I chose to get ready to be out the door by 9:00 a.m. which is hard to do if you have been up all night like I was. I could choose to wear a dress or pants. I wore pants because I didn't know if I was going to be actively doing involved in some activity. We choose to smile or we choose to frown. We choose to get offended or we choose to let it roll off our backs.  We choose to hold a grudge or we choose to forgive.  We choose to take time to help someone in need or we choose to rush by telling ourselves we are simply too busy to help. The list of choices we make each day goes on and on. So the million dollar question of me this day was, do I have the time? 

 Some choices we make without even consciously thinking about them.  We are constantly making choices every second of every day: It is true that we may not choose or control is the things other people do or say to us, but we always choose the way we react to them.  We always choose our own actions and behavior and response.  We always have a choice.  Always.  True, we may not always choose every circumstance we find ourselves in, but we still always have a choice on how we will deal with things.

One of the easiest traps to fall into is the trap of believing that you don’t always have a choice.  Some people find themselves in circumstances so daunting that they begin to believe that they don’t have a choice and they allow themselves to feel  helpless.  The more helpless you allow yourself to believe you are, the more you become frozen from taking action to change your situation.  You may not even realize you are doing it, but by allowing yourself to think you don’t have a choice, you are actually making a choice.  Sure you may not be making it consciously, but the reality is that you are, in fact, making a choice. 

 It takes courage to take action.  That is true.  Sometimes it is scary and uncertain, but nothing in your life will change unless you make the choice to be proactive and take ownership for changing your own future.   Don’t wait for someone else to make your life better, it is not their life, it is your life, and your future belongs to your choices and your choices only.

Sor Jenny explained how if we want a better tomorrow then make the best choices we can today.   Never lose sight of the fact that we always have a choice, and always try to make the right choice.  If you have two good choices where one isn’t necessarily right and one wrong, then make the best choice you can with the knowledge and experience you have to draw upon.  Then move forward with confidence and optimism.  Don’t become frozen with fear of the unknown. 

 Everything has elements of unknown, even those choices that seem to lead to a guaranteed outcome, because rarely is everything guaranteed to go as planned.  At this point I would guess that all of us have learned that lesson the hard way.  Life is never certain, so you have to learn to trust your instincts and have faith in your choices. Then move forward with them. I wrote the names down of all 25 girls who are choosing to follow certain rules in order to be cared for and safe. That was a choice they made. Others, sadly, leave and go back to the streets and that is their choice too. 

“Our choices have the undeniable power of transforming our lives.”  -Jose A. Teixeira

If you are thinking to yourself, “what if I make a choice and it turns out to be wrong and I fail?  Okay, so what?  Learn from it, grow from it, get smarter from it, and then move forward knowing that at least you tried.  At least you chose not to be a helpless victim.  At least you took control and tried to do the right thing.  At least you are trying to make your life better instead of choosing to do nothing. You are choosing to take charge of your life and you are choosing to become a better person with each choice you make.  I would call that a success. 

Tho whole purpose of this home is to empower the girls to make their own decisions someday and make right choices and to not be so dependent on the nuns that have cared for them. The girls can be in the home for up to five years but eventually they need to figure out a way to be on their own. The girls were mostly neglected and have to become independent by the time they need to go back into the "world."

 “We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder. We always have the choice.”  –Dalai Lama 

Next week is the start of a new month. Today is the start of a brand new day.  Look at your life and decide what choices will make it better, then make them!  We were there to see in what ways we could help and it is going to be up to us, if we want to do something about it or not! 

Con amor,

Vero