Sad, but why?

“Crying is how your body speaks when your mouth can’t explain the pain you feel.”The truth is that, it has been a very long time since I cried for no reason. especially at home.  You see, the sisters and I went to a place where they make things out of recyclable plastic so as we were on our way back, we were talking about how it used to be in the good old days when we were young and had nothing. 

Lynette Bowen related her first day at work teaching right after she had gotten married. She was terrified and didn't know what she was even going to teach. she was back from her honeymoon to start work while her husband was still a student. Deb Haynie told of a story of how she had a couch with two cushions when there should have been three and sister Cindy Schmutz was reminiscing of a time she covered a box with some material to make it look like a table.  Each other talked about those trials so I told them how I used to drive an old car with different colors of doors.  The point was to remember how we didn't mind being poor because we were in love. 

How you learn to overcome challenges. You see each other’s successes. You celebrate the births and mourn the deaths of dear ones together.  You are an eternal family and all the temporal doesn't matter.  But not me, " one of these things are not like the other" (from Sesame Street ) my family didn't last the way theirs did and some things will never again be the same, and my heart hurts because of that. Going back to our homes as we said good bye, I got out of the elevator and entered my apartment feeling down, wanting to cry. I couldn't understand why? 

And that is why I decided today, it is okay for me to cry.  This day it’s okay for me to process those feelings of sadness and change.  Normally I say to people “be strong, there is no need to cry because it is all going to be okay in the end”, but the fact is that every now and then I think it is okay to have a good cry and let it all out, and so I won’t feel bad for crying. I don't know how else to feel better and I had no one to call. It was past midnight on the other side of the world so I couldn't call anyone. 

I came inside my bedroom feeling depressed and that is not a good feeling to have so I got on my knees because my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus are the only ones who can make me feel better. I started my prayer to thanked my Heavenly Father for the amazing family I do have. And also how it has been such an honor to have people of that caliber as part of my life each day since I married Daniel. I shouldn't be sad, I have all I need!

 My husband has created our home to be a piece of Heaven; he makes it worth it getting up each morning to start an incredible experience!  Daniel makes the tough times easier and the happy times more joyous.  I can honestly say that I have been the luckiest girl in the entire world and I would defend that to anyone that challenged it. The love and support my husband and family have given me these last seven years has been truly humbling. I love you more than you will ever know. 

 I am also grateful for friends and extended family. The expressions of love and support from people around me has been  overwhelming and it has been more meaningful to me than I could ever put into words.  Thank you to every one of you who has touched my life and changed me for the better including my ex-husband.  And so my focus will be on the amazing quote by Dr. Seuss:

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”

I will definitely smile because it happened and I wouldn’t trade my life today for the world.  

Con amor,

Vero